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How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

The fear of rejection is a deep rooted and common fear amongst humans. It can hold us back in many areas of life. Why we fear it and how to get over it below.

The Fear of Rejection

16 Reasons Why We Fear Rejection

18 Signs of the Fear of Rejection

28 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Further Exploration – Articles & Media

Your Take – Comments

The Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is a basic and deep rooted fear common to humans. The need to be accepted and fit in stems from tribal times and thousands of years of social conditioning. If we were not accepting and rejected from our tribe, it would have been game over for us many years ago.

The fear can also stem from feelings of embarrassment and shame. Not wanting to be turned down or feel that we are not wanted is enough to instill the fear in most.

The reasons why we fear rejection, signs that we are suffering from it and 28 ways to overcome it below.

16 Reasons We Fear Rejection

The fear of rejection can stem from both evolutionary and mental factors;

Evolutionary Factors

  1. Fear of losing our tribe
  2. Fear of being alone
  3. Fear of being isolated
  4. Fear of appearance to not fit in with socials norms
  5. Being compared with others
  6. Fear of being judged
  7. Fear of shame or embarrassment
  8. Avoiding change

The Mental Health Causes of the Fear of Rejection

  1. Low self-worth
  2. Negative past experiences
  3. Lack of self confidence
  4. Low self-esteem
  5. Lack of social skills
  6. Overthinking situations and potential outcomes
  7. Wanting to avoid feelings of awkwardness or embarrassment
  8. Wanting to avoiding pain and other associated negative emotion (e.g. sadness / anxiety etc)

18 Signs of the Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection can be apparent in our thoughts, feelings, actions and words. Some of the telltale signs below;

  1. Not wanting to share our own opinions or thoughts
  2. Feeling that others are better or more superior than us
  3. Lack of assertiveness when dealing with others
  4. Lack of courage to speak up
  5. Being easily manipulated
  6. Gain feelings of self-worth from being liked
  7. General neediness
  8. Trying to blend in and not stand out
  9. Wanting to be like others rather than ourself
  10. Always saying “yes” to everything
  11. Feelings of guilt & unworthiness
  12. Being overly self-conscious
  13. Copying others in an attempt to fit in
  14. Changing behaviours and personalities to please others
  15. Having a lack of personal identity or sense of self
  16. Doing things we may not necessarily agree with to fit it in
  17. Feeling socially isolated
  18. Accepting when people easily and constantly change their opinion

28 Ways To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection

The first steps to overcoming the fear of rejection is identifying that it is affecting you, why it is affecting and what you want to change. From there you can put in place many strategies to hep deal with the fear. Ways to analyse and overcome the fear of rejection below;

How Does the Fear of Rejection Affect You?

  1. Analyse & l ook at what is holding you back : When do you fear rejection? & More Importantly Why?
  2. What are you looking to gain: Analyse the specific things that you want to accomplish by overcoming your fear. Understand what you are trying to accomplish and why. This will give you an immediate goal to work toward
  3. Look at the Bigger Picture: Once you have what you understand what you want, look at the bigger picture. What other doors will it open for you? Chances are it will have a big impact to many other areas of your life
  4. How do you want to feel?: Don’t dwell on the negative, look at how you want to be. Envision it in your mind, write it down and work toward becoming that person
  5. Accept It: Accept that you have the fear. Don’t try to fight it. It’s a very normal feeling to have. Trying to stop it will only make matters worse.

Once you understand the circumstances, the reasons for your fear and what you want to gain, you can make steps to overcome the fear.

Say ‘thank you, next!’ to that setback.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

It’s called the sting of rejection because that’s exactly what it feels like: You reach out to pluck a promising “bloom” (such as a new love interest, job opportunity, or friendship) only to receive a surprising and upsetting brush-off that feels like an attack. It’s enough to make you never want to put yourself out there ever again. And yet you must, or you’ll never find the people and opportunities that do want everything you have to offer.

So what’s the best way to deal with rejection, and quash the fear of being rejected again? Here are some psychologist-approved tips on moving onward and upward.

Know that rejection is pain, according to science.

If a recent rebuff feels like a wound, that’s because your brain thinks it is one.

A University of Michigan study of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) scans found that rejection actually activates the same parts of our brain as physical pain does. This suggests an evolutionary advantage to experiencing rejection as pain, according to Guy Winch, psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts.

“This phenomenon is a legacy of our hunter-gatherer past, when we lived in nomadic tribes,” Winch says. Back when a person couldn’t survive alone without their tribe, “rejection served as an early warning system that alerted us we were in danger of being ostracized—of being ‘voted off the island’.”

“Those who experienced rejection as more painful paid more attention to correcting their behavior than those who didn’t,” Winch continues. Thus, they were able to stay in the fold and protect their lives (and those of their future progeny). “Over many generations, experiencing rejection as painful had a survival advantage, and our brains became wired with this default response.”

Allow yourself time to process your hurt feelings.

You’ve had your hopes dashed. Maybe you’ve learned your crush wasn’t mutual, or your friend has stopped accepting your calls. This can evoke a complicated knot of feelings, and identifying each one can kick off the recovery process.

“Accept the fact that you’re a human being with emotions and allow time to feel what you’re feeling,” says Dr. Pam Garcy, psychologist and certified life coach. “There’s an expression that ‘the easiest way out is through.’ Sometimes allowing yourself to have your feelings leads them to slowly reduce in intensity.”

Heal your bruised ego by listing what makes you great.

“The most important thing we need to do to heal the emotional wound rejection creates is to revive our self-esteem by focusing on what we do bring to the table, whether the rejection was by a romantic partner, a prospective employer, or a neighbor,” Winch says.

Making a list of positive qualities you know you already possess can curb negative self-talk after the ego blow, and help you to bounce back sooner.

Winch uses the example of a job rejection: “We might list our strong work ethic, responsibility, reliability, our steep learning curve, etc.” Next, choose one of these qualities and write a paragraph or two about the times previous employers saw the value in it, and why another will again in the future.

“By writing, we remind ourselves on a deep level that we are, and can be, a valuable employee,” Winch says. “Doing this exercise is a way of self-affirming our worth.”

Examine your own role in why you got rejected.

Some rejections truly aren’t as personal as they feel. Love rejection on Tinder, for example, simply means that some stranger took all of 20 seconds to make a snap judgment based on criteria you’ll never be privy to. But if, say, you used to be a member of the office happy hour crew and your after-work drink invites have suddenly vanished, it may be time to review your possible role in why that came to be.

Think back to the last time you spent with the party in question (you know, the rejecter) , whether it was on a date or in a job interview. Winch suggests a mental replay of what, to your best recollection, you said or did, and how they reacted. Is there anything you could’ve done differently to improve the encounter, or can you at least prevent it from happening again in the future?

“This isn’t to say the other person had no responsibility,” Winch says, “but the value in that examination is to learn what we might need to be mindful of what we hadn’t paid sufficient attention to previously.”

Don’t beat yourself up about the role you played in your rejection, though.

Self-examination is not the same thing as self-criticism, which will only make you feel worse.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

Have you ever faced rejection? If yes, then you’ll be able to relate to this like no one else. And if not, then try to understand this for your children. We know that rejection can really hurt, but it can also cause damage to our psychological well-being that goes beyond emotional pain. Scientific research shows that the experience of rejection is strongly similar to that of physical pain. Rejection and the fear of being rejected can hold you back from taking risks and reaching for big goals. Now think about what it can do to your child if they face rejection.

It can wreak havoc on the child’s psyche. It is inevitable that your children will feel rejected and disappointed at times. But you definitely don’t want your children to develop an identity based on rejection early on as that will make life harder for them, and you don’t want their personality to develop around that fear of rejection. So when they complain about something like “you like my brother better” or “my classmates don’t want to play with me” then you need to take those things seriously. Teenagers can face rejection by a potential romantic partner, being turned down while applying to a college, or during a job search. If a child perceives himself rejected by someone then they will inevitably have self-worth issues. And will think that they have little value and can act in a way that causes others to walk all over them.

Types of social rejection that children might face:

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

  • Rejection faced in the family – When a trusted loved one rejects you it can deeply impact self-confidence and self-worth. This form of rejection is likely to affect a child throughout life, and it may have serious consequences. It may consist of abandonment, neglect, abuse, and the withholding of love and affection.
  • Social rejection – This type of rejection can occur at any age but often begins in childhood. It can include bullying and alienation in school or the workplace. Children who challenge the status quo or who live what is considered “outside the norm” from their society are more prone to social rejection.
  • Teenagers can face rejection when they ask someone for a date and are denied. They may also experience rejection while dating or in a relationship.
  • Children can face rejection on the basis of appearance which may lead to low self-esteem and low confidence.

How to help your child deal with the fear of rejection?

Prioritize your children – If you or your spouse work too much and don’t spend time with your child, then your child can feel rejected. They don’t understand that you have to work to pay bills. They just need their parents. All you have to do is to take some time for them and make sure that they feel loved and attended to.

Comfort and validate your child’s experience – When they feel understood and validated, it will help them build a sense of self. It also normalizes their feelings and they won’t pile it up. Listen to them and make them understand that the better they are able to feel and tolerate uncomfortable feelings, the stronger and easier it will be for them in the future to handle other situations. Your children may feel disappointed and may need some comfort before they can consider the other alternatives.

Surround them with people who truly care about them – Help them find their circle, like a sports team, or a group of friends. Encourage meaningful and positive relationships with extended family and friends that will help them build their self-esteem over time.

Failed relationships are not a big deal – Make your teenage kids understand that a failed relationship is not rejection. Breakups are a part of life and nothing is permanent. It doesn’t mean that they are not worth being loved or are incapable of it.

Prepare your child for rejection – If you know your child is trying out for a school leadership position or for a sports team, ask them how they might feel if they don’t get selected. Because this allows your child to think about the possibility that they may not get selected and how they might feel or cope if they happen to miss out. It’s about helping children learn how to lose and accept rejection.

Tell them how you handled rejection – By telling them how you have handled rejection in the past, children not only learn effective coping strategies but also feel less alone in their feelings of rejection and disappointment.

YES, experiences of rejection are not easy. But teaching your children that rejection says nothing about them as a person is important because this will help them to grow stronger and resilient.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

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No one likes to be rejected for a job. Whether you had your heart set on getting hired, or weren’t even sure you wanted the gig, it still stings to find out that you’ve been turned down.

It can be especially hard to cope with job search rejection when it happens over and over again—but that’s not an uncommon experience for job seekers. Remember that in many cases, there are perhaps hundreds of applicants for a single job opening. Even if you’re extremely qualified, it stands to reason that you’ll be rejected more often than you’ll get the job.

The process of finding the perfect job for you is a lot like dating: as the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince or princess.

To succeed in your long-term goal of finding that dream opportunity and getting hired, you need to learn to cope with being turned down. Otherwise, it’s easy to let a momentary setback turn into a major career roadblock.

How to Move on After a Job Rejection

Moving on after not getting a job offer can be broken down into three parts:

  • Getting over the rejection
  • Analyzing your candidacy
  • Moving forward with your job search

Getting Over the Rejection

The first step in getting over rejection by a potential employer entails sharing the frustration, disappointment, and anger that accompanies any loss. Talk to a friend or family member and share your feelings in a confidential setting.

Venting can be a very useful tool for letting go of the negative and moving on.

Just be sure that you pick your supporters well. The ideal person to share with is someone who won’t become a future boss or coworker. Even though your feelings are understandable, you don’t want them to make a bad impression on someone who might later evaluate your candidacy for another job. Family members are a good choice, as well as old friends who’ve been with you through good times and bad.

And whatever you do, resist the urge to say anything negative to the hiring manager. You never know whether you might want to apply to the organization again in the future. Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly why a candidate was rejected, and it could be that you were over-qualified. If that’s the case, the employer may come back at a later date with a better job offer.

Taking the time to respond to a rejection with a follow-up email can help your candidacy for other positions with the organization.

Again, it’s important to recognize that most searches are quite competitive, and many talented candidates are often rejected due to a tight job market. It is quite likely that the employer is not actually rejecting you, but rather saw another candidate as a (maybe even slightly) better fit. Because hiring decisions are typically subjective, it is entirely possible that another recruiter might have chosen you.

Also, keep in mind that maybe the hiring manager was right, and this job wasn’t the best fit for you, and you wouldn’t have worked out or been happy in the role. In that case, the company did you a favor by not hiring you.

Analyzing Your Candidacy

Take the time to reflect on your approach to the hiring process to see if there is anything you could improve upon in the future. Review your resume, cover letter, what transpired during the interview, and your follow-up after the interview.

Given what you learned about the job requirements and people involved, ask yourself if you could have done something differently in order to present yourself in a better light and one that made you seem like a better fit for the job.

Though not typical, sometimes an employer will share feedback about your candidacy. If that’s not the case, and you developed a rapport with anyone at the organization, try approaching them with a request for constructive criticism.

Keep Your Job Search Moving Forward

Candidates often lose momentum with their search while waiting to hear if they landed a job, especially if they think they nailed the job interview. Don’t fall into that trap. It’s never a good idea to stop looking until you have been offered and accepted a job offer.

Until you have something in writing, continue with your search. Finding other options, and receiving positive responses from interviewers, will soften the blow if you are rejected. You might also find a better offer, regardless of whether you land this particular job.

So, keep applying, networking, and working on your long-term career plan. Best-case scenario, you’ll be an even more attractive candidate for the job you’re considering. Worst-case scenario, you won’t have to start from scratch with a brand-new search.

Key Takeaways

Job Search Rejection Happens to Everyone. It’s What You Do Next That Counts: Use this opportunity to perfect your interviewing skills and analyze your approach.

Feel Free to Vent – But Choose the Right Support System: Don’t say anything negative to the hiring manager or anyone who might report back to the employer.

Don’t Lose Your Momentum: Even when things look promising with one employer, don’t stop your job search until you have an offer in hand.

Keep in Mind That the Hiring Manager May Be Doing You a Favor: The job might truly be a bad fit for you … or you could get a call later on for a better position at the same company.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

Grow Your Business, Not Your Inbox

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

Evolutionarily we were not meant to exist in isolation. Inside, each of us has an innate fear of not being accepted or having our contribution shunned by the community we feel the strongest resonance to serving.

As business owners and entrepreneurs, the sting of rejection can pierce like a dagger to the heart. It can be extremely hard not to take rejection personally. It’s our ideas, our blood and our sweat and tears that are being shown the exit.

The success of any business comes not with necessarily being the biggest, the best or the fastest. It comes from being the most innovative and adaptive. We often forget the underlying truth that rejection experiences have given birth to cutting-edge enterprises. In many cases, rejections have been the genesis of brilliant solutions that would otherwise have been unfathomable were it not for our mental anguish.

When you learn to embrace and practice certain strategies, you’ll no longer fear or try to avoid rejection. You may actually look forward to it.

1.) Acknowledge and prepare for rejection.

Most of us become angry when, despite putting in eighty-percent of the groundwork, our customer then decides to work with our nemesis. Overcoming rejection actually occurs from accepting the emotions that come with it. It is OK to feel angry and frustrated. The emotional and mental weight you feel is just as valid as any physical pain. In the long run, it’s more appropriate and healthy — emotionally, mentally and physically — that you allow yourself to feel that.

Always have a rejection-processing protocol in place. Debrief with personal and professional support people who can empathize and appreciate your experiences without passing judgment, criticizing or looking to give you immediate advice. Primary acknowledgment of its emotional and mental impact upon on you is essential.

Over time, examine the suite of likely reactions you have when rejection opportunities bare their unattractive heads. Know this about yourself. Being able to predict your own responses as well as build in the foresight that rejection is possible can also greatly lessen the blow. You will feel a greater sense of control knowing what may lie ahead and knowing you’ve got processes in place to handle it.

2.) Find the blessings in every rejection experience.

There will always be customers that do not like us, our service or our product. Whilst this prods us to do comparison reviews of systems, processes, products and service quality, put that aside for a moment. We often can’t see it at the time, but in many cases, rejections are blessings in disguise.

Do you want customers who wish to discuss minute details forever and a day, only to decide they want to start from the beginning again just as you were about to sign-off on the contract? Do you want to be treated like a commodity on-call 24/7, expected to make ‘urgent’ changes to a blueprint during Sunday evening quality time with your family?

You don’t want these customers. Nobody does. Refer and direct those customers to your competitors who are open to being treated this way — you are not.

In this respect, understand your competitors’ businesses actually complement your own. Even if you provide almost the exact same service as your neighbor, remember that you are the brand and that no other individual can copy you or your reasons for being in business. Customers are smart. You might also unforeseeably impress and surprise those very customers who are treating you unprofessionally.

You can put on your match-making hat and referred those clients to a business which better fit their needs? Don’t become their case manager, but what if you then followed up to find out if such a customer was happy? They certainly would not forget the lengths you went to. Such service is rare. Riding the positive wave of your satisfaction from doing this will be far better than sulking and bidding them good riddance under your breath.

3.) After licking your wounds, feed your growth mindset.

Steve Jobs was rejected and sacked from his own company, Apple, in 1985. After purchasing Pixar Animation Studios from Lucasfilm in 1986, he went on to generate his first billion dollars. Today, Pixar is the most successful animation studio of its kind. Not a bad comeback, some might say.

The whirlpool of unsavory emotions we experience in rejection is often a great catalyst for stretching our minds laterally to dimensions never visited before. You might initially doubt yourself, question your competency and your self-worth but after you have weathered the storm, activate your growth mindset and start asking questions.

What can I do differently? What have I discovered about myself? What changes can I make in my business? Could I have handled the closing conversation better? What will I do differently next time? What else is possible?

Never stop at licking your wounds only to return to the status quo. Never.

Post-rejection always builds in a strategic review not just as an individual but with a relevant business coach or consultant. Just like Steve Jobs, you could be at the cusp of a discovery that will change your business and your life forever.

4.) Transform your definition of rejection.

We often ascribe rejection to something wrong with us. Start-ups and solopreneurs are particularly vulnerable to thinking rejection means they are not good enough. Even though this might resonate with you, it doesn’t mean your thinking is accurate.

Invite yourself to consider, Are my deductions about myself actually true or is it the pain speaking? Does it hurt so much because I wanted so badly to be accepted and validated? Is my service or product simply not substandard but simply not the best fit for that customer?

Consciously practice thinking more about the positive consequences of your being rejected. What opportunities can you now see that have been hiding behind the clouds of the status quo? Rejection can, in fact, be a glorious unveiling of new possibilities.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejectedTalking to a close friend or family member about the experience of rejection may be helpful, but some individuals who are more sensitive to rejection and those who experience frequent rejection or exclusion may find it more difficult to move past the pain.

Therapy may allow people who are deeply impacted by rejection to explore and work through their feelings, allowing them to build self-esteem and confidence as well as meaningful connections with others.

Therapy for Overcoming Rejection

Sometimes, rejection can have severe consequences, such as depression, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation. These conditions can be addressed and treated in therapy, and a therapist may also be able to help an individual to explore potential reasons for rejection and work to achieve personal improvement in these areas.

Some individuals may internalize the pain of rejection, believing that there is something wrong with them, but others might externalize it, believing that the fault lies with those who have rejected them. Chronic feelings of rejection may lead to extreme responses, such as aggression. These behaviors may have the effect of further isolating an individual, but they can also have a negative effect on others. Discussing one’s feelings with a therapist can help prevent these harmful behaviors.

Rejection can be frustrating and lead to self-doubt and internal distress, and therapy can help an individual address these issues. Further, a person who is continually rejected may find therapy to be helpful in the exploration of potential reasons for chronic rejection. Individuals who fear further rejection or desire help in moving past a previous rejection may find that a mental health professional can help and support them through this process.

Couples Counseling for Rejection

Counseling may benefit couples in which rejection issues affect one or both partners. It may also be of help when rejection is experienced within the relationship. One partner may be unaware of how certain behaviors make the other partner feel rejected, and therapy can help uncover the underlying reasons for the behavior. When an individual is aware of these behaviors, therapy can still help address the underlying reasons and support the couple as they work through any issues in their relationship and address any issues that may have arisen in the relationship or on a personal level. Find a couples counselor here.

How to Handle Rejection

Those who find themselves rejected often may become distressed or frustrated. They may begin to reject themselves, believing that they are not good enough for others or that they will never succeed. Though it may be difficult to cope with rejection, especially when it seems as if it is frequent, it may be helpful to:

  • Acknowledge the event and accept that it was painful. Rejection is a common experience, and pain and distress are normal responses.
  • Express feelings verbally, to one’s self or others. This can help clarify the event and facilitate understanding of why one was rejected.
  • Avoid dwelling on the event, as this can lead to self-blame and may make it difficult to move forward after being rejected.
  • Use facts to understand rejection. Avoid self-blame or negative thoughts about the self.
  • Reach out to friends or family members. Positive social interactions can provide natural pain relief.
  • Engage in physical activity, as exercise can often relieve the pain of rejection.

Individuals with lower self-esteem may find rejection to be more painful, and it may be more difficult for them to recover from rejection. Research has also shown that people who are more sensitive to rejection may be likely to engage in behavior that leads to further incidences of rejection. They may also be more likely to experience loneliness, as they may attempt to avoid chronic rejection in their interactions by avoiding social situations entirely.

Working to strengthen resilience and developing a strong support system of trusted family and friends can help those who are sensitive to rejection overcome any sensitivity and reinforce belief in their own values.

Most of our failures are nothing more than a form of rejection, and knowing how to deal with rejection will help you lessen your pain and bounce back to your normal emotional state.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejectedAccording to Dr. Phillip McGraw (or Dr. Phil as he is commonly called), rejection is the number one fear among human beings.

One of the deepest needs of humans is the need to belong and to be accepted.

When you are rejected in one way or another, you fail to satisfy this important need.

Some other common needs and wants such as success, and fears such as failure, do not appear to be connected to fear of rejection at first glance.

However, when you look at them closer, you will see that success often can be interpreted as a form of acceptance; and failure can be seen as a form of being rejected.

Being rejected in love

One of the hardest areas to be rejected is romantic love.

The suffering that comes with this type of rejection is considerably harder than in most other types.

Interestingly, many people tend to love and desire those who aren’t as passionate about them.

It seems like being rejected or merely the fear of being rejected makes us more passionate about what we can’t have, making us suffer even more.

When you first realize that you are being rejected, you might be unable to speak and feel physically sick.

Physical symptoms and other symptoms—such as being unable to sleep, work, and concentrate—can persist for several weeks.

Although the intensity of your negative emotions will gradually fade, you will continue having good days and bad days.

Little by little, you will learn to enjoy your life again and will start noticing other exciting opportunities.

Practical steps for dealing with rejection

While time will heal your wounds, here are some useful tips on how to deal with rejection, ease the pain and make your recovery period significantly shorter.

1. Tell yourself it will go because it really will.

Keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary and that you might be even thankful for this experience in the future.

2. Engage in physical activities.

Play tennis or take a class at a local gym.

Physical activity forces us to concentrate outside of ourselves and live in the moment.

That is why we feel so alive when we are active, and that is why exercise can actually be addictive.

Unlike other addictions, this one is positive and benefits you.

3. Focus outside yourself.

Although it might be hard to do so right now, avoid blaming and criticizing yourself. Be your own friend.

If you catch yourself analyzing your past or yourself, gently draw attention away to something external.

4. Learn something new.

Learning a new skill can be challenging; in addition to obvious benefits, it helps us heal by keeping us busy and focused.

To make things even better, learning a new skill may help discover new opportunities or meet new people.

5. Travel.

New places are always fun to explore and, just like the suggestions above, they will distract your attention from negative thoughts and add excitement to your life.

In Swahili for the Broken-hearted, Peter Moore travels all the way from Cairo to Cape Town to get over his breakup, which results in an epic adventure and… a book!

6. Meet new people.

This goes without saying. When you meet someone new, you want to put your best foot forward, and this will force you to pick yourself up.

Besides, new people have new exciting stories to tell, which helps you stay distracted.

7. Consider counseling.

If going through this difficult period alone is too much to bear, counseling or psychotherapy is an excellent way to help yourself deal with your emotions.

For example, this website offers a science-based online therapy platform equipped with all the necessary tools to help you deal with your problem.

This includes a personal therapist, worksheets, live chat, messages, a journal, and other tools. All programs are based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is a goal-oriented approach to treating emotional and mental health problems.

CBT is based on the idea that your feelings are caused by your thoughts and not so much by external stimuli like people, situations, and events.

It teaches you to change your thinking patterns and, consequently, helps change the way you feel.

Because CBT focuses on what you can control — yourself and your thoughts — it is one of the most popular methods of dealing with various problems, including relationship problems.

8. Use self-hypnosis.
Hypnosis helps you access the unconscious mind and shape it in ways you never knew was possible.

If you are suffering from one-sided love, download Unrequited Love to help yourself think less of that person and start to feel interested in other activities.

If you are in a committed relationship and suffer from being rejected by your spouse, download Mend Your Broken Heart.

Many of our readers found this download particularly helpful (Stop Thinking About Someone).

If you also suffer from insecurity, you might want to try this.

What not to do

While a new relationship will definitely help get over the past quicker, it is not a healthy way of dealing with rejection.

This isn’t just bad for you; you will be potentially hurting the other person’s feelings.

Give yourself time. Don’t start a new relationship when you still have unfinished emotional business.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

Ever notice how being turned down stops some people from trying again, while others bounce back from rejection stronger than before? Everyone experiences the sting of rejection, but mentally strong people use that pain to grow stronger and become better.

Whether you were excluded from a social engagement, or you were passed up for a promotion, rejection hurts. The way you choose to respond to rejection, however, could determine the entire course of your future.

Here are five ways mentally strong people overcome rejection:

1. They Acknowledge Their Emotions

Rather than suppress, ignore, or deny the pain, mentally strong people acknowledge their emotions. They admit when they’re embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, which is essential to coping with their discomfort in a healthy manner.

Whether you’ve been stood up by a date or turned down for a promotion, rejection stings. Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself–or someone else–it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.

2. They View Rejection as Evidence They’re Pushing the Limits

Mentally strong people know that rejection serves as proof that they’re living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they’re not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot.

If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone. You can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. When you get rejected for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you’ll know you’re putting yourself out there.

3. They Treat Themselves With Compassion

Rather than think, “You’re so stupid for thinking you could do that,” mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.

Whether you got dumped by your long-term love or blindsided by a recent firing, beating yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend. Drown out your harsh inner critic by repeating helpful mantras that will keep you mentally strong.

4. They Refuse to Let Rejection Define Them

Mentally strong people don’t make sweeping generalizations when they’re rejected. If one company turns them down for a job, they don’t declare themselves incompetent. Or, if they get rejected by a single love interest, they don’t conclude they’re unlovable. They keep rejection in proper perspective.

One person’s opinion, or one single incident, should never define who you are. Don’t let your self-worth depend upon other people’s opinions of you. Just because someone else thinks something about you, doesn’t mean it’s true.

5. They Learn From Rejection

Mentally strong people ask themselves, “What did I gain from this?” so they can learn from rejection. Rather than simply tolerate the pain, they turn it into an opportunity for self-growth. With each rejection, they grow stronger and become better.

Whether you learn about areas in your life that need improvement, or you simply recognize that being turned down isn’t awful as you imagined, rejection can be a good teacher. Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom.

How to handle rejection and overcome the fear of being rejected

Ever notice how being turned down stops some people from trying again, while others bounce back from rejection stronger than before? Everyone experiences the sting of rejection, but mentally strong people use that pain to grow stronger and become better.

Whether you were excluded from a social engagement, or you were passed up for a promotion, rejection hurts. The way you choose to respond to rejection, however, could determine the entire course of your future.

Here are five ways mentally strong people overcome rejection:

1. They Acknowledge Their Emotions

Rather than suppress, ignore, or deny the pain, mentally strong people acknowledge their emotions. They admit when they’re embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, which is essential to coping with their discomfort in a healthy manner.

Whether you’ve been stood up by a date or turned down for a promotion, rejection stings. Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself–or someone else–it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.

2. They View Rejection as Evidence They’re Pushing the Limits

Mentally strong people know that rejection serves as proof that they’re living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they’re not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot.

If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone. You can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. When you get rejected for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you’ll know you’re putting yourself out there.

3. They Treat Themselves With Compassion

Rather than think, “You’re so stupid for thinking you could do that,” mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.

Whether you got dumped by your long-term love or blindsided by a recent firing, beating yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend. Drown out your harsh inner critic by repeating helpful mantras that will keep you mentally strong.

4. They Refuse to Let Rejection Define Them

Mentally strong people don’t make sweeping generalizations when they’re rejected. If one company turns them down for a job, they don’t declare themselves incompetent. Or, if they get rejected by a single love interest, they don’t conclude they’re unlovable. They keep rejection in proper perspective.

One person’s opinion, or one single incident, should never define who you are. Don’t let your self-worth depend upon other people’s opinions of you. Just because someone else thinks something about you, doesn’t mean it’s true.

5. They Learn From Rejection

Mentally strong people ask themselves, “What did I gain from this?” so they can learn from rejection. Rather than simply tolerate the pain, they turn it into an opportunity for self-growth. With each rejection, they grow stronger and become better.

Whether you learn about areas in your life that need improvement, or you simply recognize that being turned down isn’t awful as you imagined, rejection can be a good teacher. Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom.