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How to help your kids to deal with bullies at school

When we picture our children going to school, we like to imagine them walking down the halls, talking to their friends, joking around with their teammates, and being respectful to teachers and other school faculty. We picture a supportive, caring community that helps your children thrive and feel accepted.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Bullying is one thing that happens in too many schools across the country. It is not easy finding out that your child is being bullied, it is also not easy finding out the opposite, that your child is the bully. As hard as teachers, staff, members, parents, and peers try to prevent bullying and help those being bullied, it still happens.How to help your kids to deal with bullies at school

At Resurrections Christian School, a private Christian school in Loveland, we work hard to make sure bullying doesn’t become an issue. Our school’s mission, beliefs, and setup help us to create a community that is caring, loving, and supportive. Since our school begins with preschool and ends with high school, our students grow up together, get to know each other, and become one community. Our weekly chapels, bible classes, and Christian mindset help our school maintain a positive and caring environment and help our students learn to treat everyone with respect.

We want our students to feel safe and comfortable at our school and on our campus. We do our part, now it is time to do yours. Talking to your children about bullying is a great place to start. It doesn’t matter if your child is being bullied, is the bully, or is just an innocent bystander. Every parent should talk with their children about bullying, even if they don’t talk to you about it first.

Are you not sure how to talk to your kids about bullying? In this blog, we will go over some tips to talking to your children about bullying and how to do it most effectively. Read on for more tips and help us end bullying.

Figure Out How to Talk to Your Children

Talking to your children may be difficult. Kids don’t always like to open up to their parents, tell them what is going on, or ask questions about anything that may be hard to talk about. In an Insider article, Jim Jordan, who is the president of reportbullying.com , gave some advice on how to talk to your children and how to figure out the best way to do so.

Jim Jordan mentions that there are three categories when it comes to talking—talking about ourselves, talking about others, and talking about objects and events. Out of these three categories, he mentions that most children hate talking about themselves and their own problems. Talking about others, events, or objects can help your child open up to you and actually talk rather than giving one-word answers. Figuring out which way is best to talk to your kids is the hard part, but once you figure out what opens them up the most, you will be able to talk to them about many different things.

Take it Seriously

Bullying is a serious issue and you should never blow it off if your kids talk to you about it. Often times, parents will tell their children to toughen up, ignore the problem or person bullying them, or that the bullying will end eventually. These are things your child does not want to hear, especially after opening up to you about being bullied. Unfortunately, bullying can lead to something worse, so taking it seriously when you’re first told about it or when you first notice something is different can help your children.

Talking About BullyingHow to help your kids to deal with bullies at school

If you notice that your child is acting differently, skipping activities they used to love, avoiding school, or no longer hanging out with friends, it may be a sign that they are being bullied. If your child isn’t sleeping well, isn’t eating, avoids certain situations, and has become moodier, bullying may be the cause. When talking to your children about bullying, you don’t want to jump straight to the point. An article from Kids Health , suggests using different opportunities to start talking about bullying, such as a TV show that shows some instances of bullying. You can ask your children what they think about what is happening, what they would do in this situation, and maybe even go as far as to ask them if anyone gets bullied at their school. These questions and this discussion may help them open up to you about their situation and feel more comfortable about the topic.

Even if your child is not showing signs of being bullied, talk to them about the seriousness and tell them that you are always there to listen and help them if anything does happen. Tell your children that if they begin to be bullied or notice someone else being bullied, they need to tell someone, whether it is a parent, teacher, another adult, or a peer. Getting your kids to understand that you will help them and support them through this time can allow them to feel more comfortable if anything does happen.

Dealing With It

Talking to a school principal, a teacher, or a counselor at the school can help get eyes on the situation and hopefully end it. It can be hard dealing with bullies and giving kids advice on how to deal with it. The Kids Health article gave a few words of advice to give your kids. One of their strategies is to simply and calmly tell the bully to stop and walk away. Bullies thrive off of your reactions, so telling your children to not react, ignore them, and even play on their phone while the bully is trying to get to them can help. The bully will eventually get bored and stop bothering them.

There are many different ways of dealing with a bully, and hopefully, your children never have to worry about it. But knowing how to deal with bullies and help your children deal with bullies can help make it easier. Your children may want to try getting the bully to stop on their own before you go to the principal, let them try one of these methods, and if nothing changes, then seek additional help.

At Resurrection Christian School, we work to keep our community and students caring and supportive. We do not tolerate bullying but know that it happens, that is why we wanted to give parents additional information on how to help your children deal with a bully. Learn more about our private Christian school in Loveland and what we stand for today.

Most Recent Fatherhood Posts

Dads are often the last to know when our child is the victim of bullying. Children often do not share with their parents that they are being bullied due to shame and embarrassment. Use these 10 tips to protect your kids from bullies and help resolve school conflicts.

How to help your kids to deal with bullies at school

1) Know the Warning Signs: Understand that bullying can occur in physical, non-verbal, or online (cyber bullying) forms. If another child teases your child consistently, this represents a form of verbal bullying. Watch closely, anything from a lack of desire to attend school to sudden falling grades are possible signs your child might be experiencing a bullying problem.

2) Talk to Your Child: Be intentional about how you spend time talking with your child. Spend regular time making it clear that your child can talk to you about anything, especially tough situations at school. If your child knows you are interested in the small, daily things; he or she will be more comfortable to tell you the bigger things.

3) Teach Your Values: How you talk with your child daily will shape how your son/daughter values him- or herself. It’s never too early to talk to your child about your values. Your child needs to know right from wrong in how they treat people. If you teach your child well, they will recognize bad behavior when they see it; whether it’s to them or others. Teach your child that the standard is treating all people with respect.

4) Get the facts. Get as much information as you can from your child if they tell you – or you suspect – a bullying situation. Consider your child’s behavior, conflict-management skills, and temperament. Remember to support your child even as you do additional research on the situation. Ask detailed questions about the incident(s): Who was involved? What exactly happened? Who else might have seen the situation? Dad, do not act before thinking at this point. Do not instruct your child to fight back.

5) Stay Calm: Upon hearing that your son or daughter may be encountering a bully, you will probably want to pounce on said bully. Remember, a bully is seeking to create fear and control. All experts agree that the most important thing to do is stay calm. A bully is seeking reaction. Do not give it. How you personally react to the news will shape your child’s reaction.

6) Teach Your Child to Stand: Confronting a bully may be your child’s only option, but they should not seek to harm someone physically or verbally. Teach your child to stand up for him or herself, and that it is okay to speak up when spoken to in a degrading way. Of course, there is a delicate balance between instigating a fight and being a wet blanket. The earlier your child learns this, the better.

7) Talk to the Teacher: It is vital that your child learn how to handle his or her own social situations. It’s simply and a part of maturing. But, teach your child that if the bullying turns to threats of violence or emotional harm, it’s time to tell the teacher.

Dad, do not try and straighten the behavior of another child on your own. Contact your child’s school and learn about the school policy and how to access available resources. Often teachers have the best grasp on the relationships between children in the classroom. Stay professional in your interactions with school staff, and be sure to emphasize you want to work with them to find a solution. Teachers, principals, and guidance counselors are available to help.

8) Involve the Parents/Guardian: Unless the bully is over 18, which would be dealt with on a completely different manner (and different blog post), the bully will typically have parents. In most cases, the bully’s parents/guardian will not know that their child is the class bully, so it is generally a good strategy to get them involved. Keep in mind they will probably be defensive at first, so be careful not to lose your cool and make matters worse.

9) Involve their Friends: There is definitely strength in numbers. Whether at recess, lunch or between classes, have your child plan to walk with friends. Often, bullies will not single you out when you are surrounded by supportive friends. On the flip side, your child may think they are among friends, but if those “friends” are also chiming into the bully’s behavior, help your child understand that those aren’t the type of friends he/she may want to keep. This may be a good time to encourage your child seek out new classmates as friends.

10) Prevent the Cycle. Help your child understand the situation by talking with them about why the bully acts the way he does. Empathize with your child but also constructively involve him or her in solving the problem. From kindergarten to high school, it is valuable that your child seeks supportive friends. Teaching your child appropriate social skills that build self-esteem will make them less likely targets. It’s impossible to protect your child from any and all situations, but by being active and intentional, you can help your child navigate some situations.

For instance, practice scenarios while on the playground, during sibling conflicts, or even with situations you read in books and see on television. Make it a point to discuss with your child about exactly what happened in a book or movie and what the best response is in these situations. Whether the character does the wrong or right thing, the opportunity to discuss the event and use it as a teachable moment is there – seize it.

Finally, it is important for you to explain to your child that sometimes all that is necessary is avoidance. Bullies may give up if they don’t get attention. Above all, be sure you take the issue seriously and listen to your child. A child knowing that dad is supportive can give a child confidence. Sometimes, confidence makes all the difference.

What’s the best advice you’ve heard for dealing with bullying?

How adults can equip kids with skills to cope with conflict

Posted January 23, 2016

THE BASICS

  • How to Handle Bullying
  • Find a therapist to support kids or teens

One of the most common reasons parents approach me is to ask for my advice on how to help their child handle a bullying situation at school. Fear for their child’s well-being combined with a sense of powerlessness at changing peer dynamics often leaves moms, dads, and other caregivers feeling helpless. The bad news is that conflict and bullying are pervasive among school-aged kids and most students will be impacted by physical or social aggression either directly or indirectly. The good news is that there are many, many ways that parents can help safeguard their children and positively impact kids’ relationships. Here are five of the simplest—yet most powerful—do’s and don’ts parents can use to help their kids handle conflict and bullying:

1. Words Matter

Do help kids understand the difference between unintentionally rude behavior (such as butting ahead in the lunch line), mean comments said in a moment of anger between friends (e.g. “You’re not my best friend anymore”), and bullying behavior that is characteristically marked by purposeful cruelty that is repeated over time and involves an abuse of power (whether that power be size and strength or social rank at school.)

Don’t allow kids to over-label rude and mean behaviors as ‘bullying.’ In recent years, gratuitous references to bullying in schools and communities have created a “little boy who cried wolf” phenomena, resulting in jaded adults failing to take action when needed and vulnerable children missing out on the adult support they desperately need.

2. Conflict is OK

Do teach your child that it is perfectly normal to disagree with a friend. Differences of opinion are perfectly acceptable and learning how to communicate them respectfully is a critical social skill.

Don’t worry that you’re too much of a helicopter parent if you intervene in your child’s friendship conflict. Kids are not born knowing how to resolve conflict (goodness knows too many people make it to adulthood without this knowledge!). Young people need supportive adults to coach them in how to disagree without arguing and how to apologize after they’ve behaved badly.

3. Bullying is Not OK

Do talk to your child about the qualities of a good friendship and help them to set healthy boundaries on how they are treated by others. Having a fight with a friend is one thing—being on the receiving end of persistent cruelty is quite another. All young people should be empowered to know the difference.

Don’t second-guess your child if he or she tells you that they are being bullied. Listen to them, convey that you believe them, tell them you ae sorry for what they are going through, and help them problem-solve when they are ready for this step. The experience of feeling heard and understood is invaluable for a young person.

4. BFF’s Do Not Have to Be Together 24/7/365

Do let kids know that it’s totally natural for friends to get on each other’s nerves from time to time and that these feelings of irritation and annoyance are very different from actually “not liking each other anymore.” Help your child understand that time away from a BFF can be a healthy thing and that spending time with other friends (or alone!) is not a sign that a friendship is over, but rather a wise choice.

THE BASICS

  • How to Handle Bullying
  • Find a therapist to support kids or teens

Don’t let kids get caught up in all-or-nothing thinking patterns that cause them to think that a period of annoyance with a BFF must result in the end of the friendship altogether. Bullying too often begins where friendships end; besties become frenemies when a slight snowballs into a fight. Adults play a key role in teaching young people that time apart can actually bring friends closer together.

5. Stronger at the Broken Places

Do believe that your child is strong enough to cope with the emotions associated with conflict and bullying, including anger, sadness, embarrassment, confusion, and even humiliation. Empower the young person in your life to work through difficult situations and negative emotions and provide them with unconditional love and support all along the way.

Bullying Essential Reads

How to Empower Bullied Children

What Adult Bullying Does to You and How to Overcome It

Don’t rescue your child from every problem situation and challenging emotional state. While it can be incredibly difficult to watch a young person struggle with painful feelings, not allowing them to cope is far worse! You are raising your child to become an adult and as such, he or she needs to know how to handle whatever life throws at them.

Does this mean you should allow your child to navigate conflict and bullying entirely on their own? Of course not. As noted above, kids need adults to teach them helpful skills to cope with friendship troubles.

Am I saying kids should be exposed to intense levels of stress in order to “build their character?” No way. It’s never healthy for kids to become stressed beyond the limits of their coping abilities.

What I am saying, however, is that kids need to be allowed to feel their feelings and—with the support of a caring adult—to learn how to cope with these feelings in healthy ways during their childhood and adolescence. Kids who lack these experiences become adults who have no resources for managing the inevitable conflicts of relationships and the workplace.

For more information on strategies to help young people cope with conflict and bullying, please check out www.signewhitson.com or follow Signe on Facebook at Twitter @SigneWhitson

Signe Whitson is a School Counselor, national educator on Bullying Prevention, and author of four books related to child and adolescent mental health, including How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group Guide for Kids and Teens and 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools.

Donated Organs Rarely Spread Disease Due To Stringent Screening Protocols

Suddenly, Emily noticed that her son doesn’t want to go to school. Everyday, he complains of tummy ache, nausea and headache, just before school time. There are many parents, whose children might have given similar excuses for not going to school. Instead of scolding them, or forcing them to go to school, have you ever delved deep into the situation? Your child may be a victim of bullies or child sexual abuse. In this segment of parenting tips, I would like to talk about only bullying and how you can help your child to deal with bullies at school.

Before helping your child, you must know what bullying is, and how it is harming the self-respect and psyche of your child.

What is Bullying?

Bullying is the act of traumatizing and harming a peer or a classmate (usually), either by words, or by actions for gaining some devilish pleasure or satisfaction. The bully may adopt several techniques to disturb and traumatize your child.

Types Of Bullying

Based on the actions, bullying can be classified into 4 classes- physical bullying, verbal bullying, relational bullying and cyber bullying.

Physical Bullying: When the bullies beat, scratch or hit the target child. This means, the bully causes or tries to cause physical harm to the child.

Verbal Bullying: Here, the bully won’t hit but will abuse verbally, assign humiliating names to the child based on his looks, height or weight. The bully will laugh and say every possible thing to humiliate the target child.

Relational Bullying: When the bullies, who were once friends, suddenly isolate the child, form a group and giggle, laugh, seeing the target child. This gives a tremendous pain to the child, a pain of rejection.

Cyber Bullying: This is presently a growing menace in our society and occurs usually among the teenagers. The target teen is being harassed over Facebook, WhatsApp, or other social media in every possible way.

What Not To Do When Your Child Is Being Bullied?

Don’t teach him/her revenge: Revenge aggravates the bullies and at the same time imparts a thought of violence in the mind of your child. So, giving suggestions of hitting back or taking revenge from the bullies is a big NO!

Do Not Ignore: If your child complains of being bullied, do not ignore her words. Take it seriously.

Do Not Take Hasty Decisions Or Involve Yourself Directly In It: Just like ignoring is a terrible thing to do, involving yourself personally into the fight is a worse thing to do. It will break your child’s confidence, and when you won’t be with her in class, she will feel more threatened and scared.

How To Help Your Child Deal With Bullies?

Spend Quality Time With Your Child: Spending quality time is the most vital aspect of parenting. No matter how much busy you are in your professional life, you must give your little one time, where you can bond with each other. If you are a close confidante of him, he will open up to you what is happing in his school, or in his life. Usually child tries to hide any school problem from adults, because they feel the adults won’t understand. Break that barrier and talk to him about his likes and dislikes, his homework, his friends, his teachers and everything else.

Tell Your Child To Stay In Group: Survey has found that the child who is lonely, timid and quiet is the one often bullied. So, teach your child to remain in group. Unity is strength and staying in groups provide a mental strength and confidence. And above all, bullies never attack children who are amicable and stay in groups.

Take Your Child For Outdoor Activity: Take your child to park where she can make new friends, mingle with new children. You can enrol her in a karate or self-defence class, swimming or dance class. Physical and mental activity triggers confidence in them.

Teach Her Assertive Communication: This is the most important point. Teach your child in a simple way- calm and emotionless expression disarm the bully, whereas tears make them a winner! Your kid should stay calm and composed, look into the eyes of the bully, tell in a firm voice, “No, you can’t do this”, “I don’t like what you do”. This may not seem convincing, but assertive communication has been found to be the best way to deal with bullying. If your child gets scared, bullies attack them more. If you child gets angry and hit back, the bullies become more revengeful. So neither positive nor negative, but assertive and emotionless firm communication is the key.

It is not as easy as it sounds. It is very difficult to execute especially for a kid. So, to help her out, play role-play games and pretend games, where you act as the bully, and she acts as the survivor. Make her practice to look into the color of the eyes of the bully, talk in a firm voice, control tears, laugh off at verbal bullying. Teach her, if the bullies call her names, just laugh off and walk away. Practise with her to say out phrases like, “Back off”, “Leave me alone”, “Don’t”. Even if your kid is not bullied, you can still alert her.

Tell Your Child To Keep Safe Distance: Inform your child to always keep a safe distance from bullies, if possible sit at a desk away from them. In many classes, children are not allowed to swap sits. In that case, you can talk to the teachers without letting your child know, so that the teacher allows your child to sit at a different desk.

Cyber Bullying: If the bullies harasses by comments, or textual messages, or obscene pictures, you must seek help from police and report to cyber crime department of your respective area.

If your child’s school calls you and tells you that your child is bullying other kids, if other parents are complaining to you that your child is bullying their child, or if you notice that your child is constantly getting into fights … take a deep breath and admit that your child has a problem.

Many parents will take the stance of denial or feel that others are being mean to their child. It takes a courageous and open parent to realize that their child has a problem and that they need help.

Parents may think there is no problem – that it’s just a little teasing, or that it’s natural for children to fight with one another. Take all accusations of bullying seriously. What may seem natural to you may be harming others a great deal.

    Take it seriously. Don’t treat bullying as a phase your child is going through. There are long-lasting effects on an aggressive child, sometimes even more than the other child who is being hurt. Bullies who grow up as adults with the same behavior can experience many serious problems later in life.

This does not mean that the child who is being bullied will not have long-lasting effects, but through peer, school and parent assistance, as well as possible therapy, the victim can have a more positive outlook on their painful experience and move on, not letting the experience define who they are.

  • Communication is key. Talk to your child to find out why he or she is bullying. Often, children bully when they feel sad, angry, lonely, or insecure and many times major changes at home or school may bring on these feelings.
  • Teach empathy at home.
  • Talk to your child about how it feels to be bullied.
  • Ask a teacher or a school counselor if your child is facing any problems at school, such as if your child is struggling with a particular subject or has difficulty making friends. Ask them for advice on how you and your child can work through the problem.
  • Ask yourself if someone at home is bullying your child. Often, kids who bully are mistreated themselves by a parent, family member, or another adult.
  • Sit down and have a conversation with your child. Tell them that the school or other parents have reported their aggressive behavior, that you love them no matter what, that their behavior has to change, and that you support the school’s punishment and will not tolerate this behavior.

    Explain that bullying in any form causes pain to others. Let them know that name-calling, teasing, hitting, pushing, starting or spreading rumors, cyberbullying and all other forms of bullying are wrong, and not acceptable behavior.

    Let your child know that you will help them to change the behavior and correct the situation. Ask them how they think the bullying could stop. What do they think has to change in order for them to change?

    Depending on the age of the child, they may not know any better. Young children, especially, need to be told that hurting another child is not acceptable.

    After you have thoroughly discussed this with your child, meet with their teacher. Listen to the teacher’s perspective without being judgmental.

    Let the teacher know that you are willing to work with the school to help stop your child from bullying. It’s important to tell the teacher if there are any family problems that you might be experiencing.

    Additional counseling may be needed for your child. It will help them learn to behave differently, accept responsibility for their actions and teach them how to develop guilt, as well as learn how to form cohesive relationships.

    Through behavior modification and cognitive behavior therapy and any other circumstances that may be affecting their child’s behavior, only then can one work towards raising a kinder and more empathetic child.

    It is imperative to teach your child to:

    • Improve communication with others
    • Teach kids how to cope with fears
    • How to confront and challenge destructive thoughts
    • Improve self-esteem
    • Identify positive coping mechanisms
    • Change negative thoughts

    Additionally, empathy must be taught at home and at school. If a child is not empathetic how can we possibly expect them to care about others and their feelings? Schools should partner in teaching empathy to all students as well.

    October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, so it’s appropriate to think about how to help our kids deal with bullies.

    Of course, no dad ever wants his child to be bullied, but for all of the press that bullying gets, in most cases (but certainly not all), parents can help their children deal with teasing and bullies without stepping in directly.

    How to help your kids to deal with bullies at schoolHere are eight tips dads can use to help their kids resolve issues with bullies.

    Tip #1: Look up the school’s policy on bullying. Thankfully, this problem is already on the radar for many schools and administrators, and many have published recommendations for how to handle it. They may even have a no-tolerance policy and expect to be informed at the first sign of bullying. Remember, you’ll want the school’s cooperation if the bullying continues for your child, so make every effort to comply with policies.

    Tip #2: Coach your child not to retaliate. This could lead to serious injuries, and it sends the message that violence is acceptable.

    Instead, “teach your child to be assertive, but not aggressive,” says Allan L. Beane, PhD, a former teacher and an internationally recognized expert on bullying. “Coach your child on how to look, walk, and talk like a confident person.” Talk about non-verbal cues like eye contact, facial expressions and posture that your child can adopt to so that he or she exudes confidence. Over time, your child can learn to deflect the taunts and teasing.

    Tip #3: Talk to your child about appropriate responses that will help your child deflect the taunts and teasing. Help your child figure out what might work, and what might not work.

    In the same conversation, see if you can help your child come up with solutions to avoid situations that allow the bully to taunt your child. There’s strength in numbers. If your child has a large group of friends, he can find ways to make sure he is surrounded by these friends while in the hallway or on the bus. This might curtail the bullying.

    Tip #4: Distinguish between regular bullying and extreme bullying. Regular bullying usually doesn’t lead to any physical harm. Extreme bullying does. Watch for warning signs that your child is a victim of an extreme bully. Dr. Beane lists the following:

    1. Sudden decreased interest in school and quality of school work.
    2. Wants to take a different route or use different transportation to get to school.
    3. Wants to avoid certain areas of school or neighborhood.
    4. Seems preoccupied or tense on Sunday nights but happy and relaxed come Friday and Saturday.
    5. Suddenly prefers the company of adults.
    6. Has frequent illnesses, such as headaches and stomach pains. Also has nightmares and insomnia.
    7. Comes home with unexplained bruises, scratches, or torn clothing.
    8. Suddenly starts bullying others.
    9. Seeks the wrong friends in the wrong places.
    10. Talks of suicide and feeling depressed.

    Tip #5: Sometimes – but not often – dads may need to step in and take action to protect our children. If you believe your child is a victim of extreme bullying, or if you believe your child is responding severely to regular bullying, step in and do what is necessary to protect your child. You might need to place a friendly call to the school, or you might need to make an aggressive requirement that the bully be supervised by an adult at all times. The key is to stay in close contact with your child to make sure you have a grasp on how severe the bullying is.

    That said, you should probably contact officials and not the parents. You never know what is going on in a child’s home life, or how the parents (who won’t be objective) will respond.

    Tip #6: Give your child perspective on the situation. The bully might come from a tough home life and lack self-control and discipline. Ask your child questions like, “Why might he be doing this to you.”

    The key, here, is to let your child know that he or she does not deserve to be bullied. At the same time, you allow your child to feel compassion for the bully.

    Tip #7: Become a WatchDOG. WATCH D.O.G.S. puts adult male role models, most of whom are fathers, in the hallways, classrooms, lunchrooms, libraries and playgrounds. Many of the schools that have WatchDOGS tells us that their discipline problems have dropped dramatically as a result of having these dads roam the halls. And many schools see a connection between having WATCH D.O.G.S. dads in the school and less bullying. The dads set a positive example for the kids, support the educators, and help provide a safe and secure learning environment.

    Tip #8: And – one last angle on the bully problem – if your child isn’t currently a victim for bullies, you might suggest that he take a more active role in standing up for other kids when he sees teasing going on.

    By John Kubalak

    Published on: December 30, 2013

    Bullying as a national hot-button concern reached a zeitgeist tipping point in 2010. A tragedy was unfolding as the media related devastating news of children committing suicide because of the bullying they experienced. An unconscionable, unimaginable, and unbelievable thought to any parent, that a beloved child would be bullied so badly by peers that he or she took his own life to escape the pain.

    Bullying has always happened, is happening, and will continue to happen – and we must educate ourselves and our children about how best to identify, understand, and deal with it. Engaged and mindful parenting around this issue is required to raise children who are likewise mindful.

    There is a tremendous amount of media available that addresses the issue of bullying — from Anderson Cooper’s recent special report “Bullying, It Stops Here” to the ongoing It Gets Better Project to the raft of websites, policy-making, publications, and other information on the subject. These sources can be very helpful to educate you and your older children, but bullying doesn’t just spring up suddenly like an unfortunate case of acne when kids hit adolescence. The behaviors that lead to bullying start as early as preschool. Fortunately, there’s an easy way to start a conversation with your younger children about bullying and the emotions associated with both bullies and their victims.

    Here are some excellent books to get you started engaging in creative and critically important dialogue with your child about bullying.

    26 books about bullying for younger children:

    Most of these authors have written several books aimed at cultivating empathy and respect for others, and they talk forthrightly about elements of bullying or depict what it is like to be bullied. In some cases these books deal with emotions that can result from, or lead to, bullying, and they provide an excellent framework for talking to your children about how to deal with attendant emotions and interactions.

    1. Amanda Pig on Her Own by Jean Van Leeuwen
    2. Dora’s Box by Ann-Jeanette Campbell
    3. Baseball Saved Us by Ken Mochizuki
    4. The Gardener by Sarah Stewart
    5. A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue by Julia Cook
    6. The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric
    7. Surviving Brick Johnson By Laurie Myers
    8. Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
    9. Rosie’s Story by Martine Gogoll
    10. Oliver Button Is a Sissy by Tomie de Paola
    11. How to Lose All Your Friends by Nancy Carlson
    12. The Meanest Thing to Say by Bill Cosby
    13. Enemy Pie by Derek Munson
    14. The Hundred Dresses by Elinor Estes
    15. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
    16. Angel Child, Dragon Child by Michele Maria Surat
    17. The Ant Bully by John Nickle
    18. The Honest-to-Goodness Truth by Patricia C. McKissack
    19. I Speak English for My Mom by Muriel Stanek
    20. The Magic Fan by Keith Baker
    21. Believing Sophie by Hazel Hutchins
    22. Crickwing by Janell Cannon
    23. How to Fight a Girl by Thomas Rockwell
    24. A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon
    25. Judy Moody by Megan McDonald
    26. The Summer My Father Was Ten by Pat Brisson

    4 books for children, second grade and up:

    As far as I am concerned, buy anything that Northwest native Trudy Ludwig writes — her books are realistic and they break down a complex subject for kids without being condescending.

    As your child gets older, Confessions of a Former Bully becomes a go-to on the subject.

    This article was co-authored by Katie Styzek. Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

    There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

    This article has been viewed 91,195 times.

    Remember that old schoolyard jingle, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? That was not and certainly is not the truth today. Three-quarters of all children say they have been bullied or teased. [1] X Research source Bullying and teasing are similar, but one of the key differences between them is intention. Teasing becomes bullying when it is a repetitive behavior with the conscious intention to harm or hurt another child. [2] X Research source Bullying is one of the largest problems in schools, where the percentage of students reporting bullying at least once a week has steadily increased since 1999, according to the FBI. [3] X Research source Bullying can make kids feel hurt, scared, lonely, embarrassed, and sad. In addition, it can also make kids fearful of and unwilling to attend school. Here are some tips on how to deal with bullies at school.

    By John Kubalak

    Published on: December 30, 2013

    Bullying as a national hot-button concern reached a zeitgeist tipping point in 2010. A tragedy was unfolding as the media related devastating news of children committing suicide because of the bullying they experienced. An unconscionable, unimaginable, and unbelievable thought to any parent, that a beloved child would be bullied so badly by peers that he or she took his own life to escape the pain.

    Bullying has always happened, is happening, and will continue to happen – and we must educate ourselves and our children about how best to identify, understand, and deal with it. Engaged and mindful parenting around this issue is required to raise children who are likewise mindful.

    There is a tremendous amount of media available that addresses the issue of bullying — from Anderson Cooper’s recent special report “Bullying, It Stops Here” to the ongoing It Gets Better Project to the raft of websites, policy-making, publications, and other information on the subject. These sources can be very helpful to educate you and your older children, but bullying doesn’t just spring up suddenly like an unfortunate case of acne when kids hit adolescence. The behaviors that lead to bullying start as early as preschool. Fortunately, there’s an easy way to start a conversation with your younger children about bullying and the emotions associated with both bullies and their victims.

    Here are some excellent books to get you started engaging in creative and critically important dialogue with your child about bullying.

    26 books about bullying for younger children:

    Most of these authors have written several books aimed at cultivating empathy and respect for others, and they talk forthrightly about elements of bullying or depict what it is like to be bullied. In some cases these books deal with emotions that can result from, or lead to, bullying, and they provide an excellent framework for talking to your children about how to deal with attendant emotions and interactions.

    1. Amanda Pig on Her Own by Jean Van Leeuwen
    2. Dora’s Box by Ann-Jeanette Campbell
    3. Baseball Saved Us by Ken Mochizuki
    4. The Gardener by Sarah Stewart
    5. A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue by Julia Cook
    6. The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric
    7. Surviving Brick Johnson By Laurie Myers
    8. Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
    9. Rosie’s Story by Martine Gogoll
    10. Oliver Button Is a Sissy by Tomie de Paola
    11. How to Lose All Your Friends by Nancy Carlson
    12. The Meanest Thing to Say by Bill Cosby
    13. Enemy Pie by Derek Munson
    14. The Hundred Dresses by Elinor Estes
    15. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
    16. Angel Child, Dragon Child by Michele Maria Surat
    17. The Ant Bully by John Nickle
    18. The Honest-to-Goodness Truth by Patricia C. McKissack
    19. I Speak English for My Mom by Muriel Stanek
    20. The Magic Fan by Keith Baker
    21. Believing Sophie by Hazel Hutchins
    22. Crickwing by Janell Cannon
    23. How to Fight a Girl by Thomas Rockwell
    24. A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon
    25. Judy Moody by Megan McDonald
    26. The Summer My Father Was Ten by Pat Brisson

    4 books for children, second grade and up:

    As far as I am concerned, buy anything that Northwest native Trudy Ludwig writes — her books are realistic and they break down a complex subject for kids without being condescending.

    As your child gets older, Confessions of a Former Bully becomes a go-to on the subject.