i have no best friend and me and this girl are friends buh i wanna be her best friend..
Be yourself, if its to be it will.
I think when it comes to friends of best friend for that matter, it’s nature’s course, it just happens and that mostly depends on your life circumstances and time (I think time is a great factor – the more time you spend with someone, the more likely you are going to be friends if not best friend).
Now by life circumstances, I mean, maybe u live close to one another and so have no choice but to hang out in the same playground and later share stories about earlier events, laugh at stuff that happens, and slowly start sharing secrets etc
You go to the same school or work and spend much time in the same environment and in the long run, nature brings u closer and closer
stuff like that
u can’t force it, the most u can do is ensure that your life circumstances are such that you will frequently be in the same environment and hopefully you will come to bcome best friends.
to put it in short – friendship is brought about by nature (life circumstances) and time, when you try to engineer it, it becomes desperate and pathetic, just let it flow.
this is why hollywood people mostly hang around with hollywood people, royals with royals, gangsters with gangsters etc because these people find themselves in the same circles and therefore just let if flow i.e. get to become friends.
Now best friends, it takes more than just being friends – that’s another level where you share some of the most private stories, problems and happiness, you do most things together and hang out together. U want to go shopping or do some errands, if they are free, they would be with you and vice versa, you know their friends and family, they know yours
There are various reasons you and your best friend might find yourself at odds. Perhaps you lost your temper at him during a friendly competition, or perhaps you seemed to be flirting with a girl he had his eye on. No matter the reason, it’s now up to you to begin to repair the damage. However, eventually you will need his cooperation, as this isn’t a job you can do alone. You both have to want to patch things up.
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- Choose Your Timing
- Open Up
- Own Up
- Prep for Future Problems
1 Choose Your Timing
If your best friend is still extremely upset by the incident, you shouldn’t approach him for a conversation until he has had time to calm down, warns psychologist John M. Grohol in the PsychCentral article, “How to Make an Adept, Sincere Apology.” Otherwise, your attempts to patch things up might be met with a cold shoulder and an overall uncooperative attitude. On the other hand, if you wait too long, he might begin to fume about the delay in your apology. Wait for a day or two to pass before you contact your friend for a chat.
2 Open Up
Have an open and honest conversation with your friend about the incident. Rather than assigning blame, focus on communicating your feelings, suggests psychologist Sam Owen in a Huffington Post article. For example, rather than saying, “You are being too sensitive,” say, “I feel like I’m misunderstanding the reasons behind your anger.” When listening to your friend talk, try to put your opinions aside for a moment so you can envision the problem more objectively.
3 Own Up
Take responsibility for any of your mistakes and make a formal apology to show respect for your best friend. Make sure you are specific with your apology, rather than over apologizing or only apologizing for part of the mistake, says Grohol. For example, you don’t need to say, “I’m sorry for being a terrible friend.” Just say, “I’m sorry I lost my cool the other day. I shouldn’t have taken out my anger on you,” or “I’m sorry I forgot about the basketball game. I will write it down next time so it doesn’t happen again.” To avoid a half-apology, steer clear of phrases such as, “I’m sorry you got upset when I lost my temper.” You must remember that you are apologizing for your actions, not his.
4 Prep for Future Problems
Explain how you will avoid the same mistakes in the future and how you will both handle future disagreements, suggests Owen. For example, if you flirted with a girl he likes, explain that you will try to steer clear of his crushes in the future. If you forgot to show up for a planned activity, commit to writing down the information to help you remember. If a problem can’t be avoided, make an attempt to chat with your friend before it becomes an issue that might strain your relationship. Owen recommends coming up with a funny code word that signals the need for a conversation without either of you feeling anxious about starting one. If you have something on your chest, but don’t know how to open a discussion, just say that code word.
The person you are in front of your boss, your professors, or your co-workers just isn’t the same person you are with your best friend. In front of non-best friends, your behavior is (mostly) socially acceptable. If youвЂ™re weird, youвЂ™re only “Jennifer Lawrence” weird, not “Gary Busey” weird. You donвЂ™t dare share gross personal details about your life, because, well, they’re personal. But thatвЂ™s why you have your BFF. She’s the person who knows you so well that she can tell when youвЂ™re only pretending to be OK. She knows when you secretly want to leave a party, but won’t because you donвЂ™t want to seem lame (and then fakes food poisoning to get you both out of there). And most of all, she’s the person who knows just how crazy you are вЂ” and loves you for it.
One of the many perks of having such an amazing friend is being able to be who you really are, even if who you are is kind of bananas. And IвЂ™m not talking about the “not wearing makeup” kind of being yourself вЂ” IвЂ™m talking about the deeply personal, borderline unacceptable, strange shit you do when youвЂ™re all by yourself. That’s the stuff you do in front of your best friend.
Here are 21 ways you know someone is really your bestie.
You’ve Randomly Changed Out Of Your T-Shirt In Front Of Her .
Like, you guys will be discussing global warming or who has the best fish tacos, and suddenly you’ll feel the urge to change into a dress because it’s too hot. Your BFF won’t even bat an eye, and will just keep talking about the environment and tacos.
. And You’ve Tried On At Least One Of Her Bras
Sure, she might be two cup sizes bigger, but why not?
You’ve Taken Turns Doing Each Other’s Hair
Grooming yourself is usually a private event. But if you and your friend both have frizzy hair and some extra time, there is no reason you can’t get glammed up together.
You’ve Actively Tried To Gross Her Out
It takes a very special bond to ask someone if there is a piece of broccoli or rice lodged between your two front teeth, but an even more special bond to lodge it there on purpose.
You’ve Dragged Her With You To The Bathroom While Drunk
Because going by yourself is no fun, and you need to catch up on the last 10 minutes.
You Treat Her Fridge And Cabinets As Though They Are Your Own
If someone I didn’t know very well started going through my food, I would question their respect for me and my things. My best friend? HAVE IT ALL. My food is your food.
You’ve Shared A Tub Of Pillsbury Frosting While Rewatching Mean Girls. Again.
When You Take Selfies Together, You Argue Over Which Filter Makes You Both Look Cuter
Usually you agree on X-Pro II, but sometimes 1977 makes your photo look all vintage-y.
You Can Proudly Point Out To Her How YouвЂ™ve Gone Five Days Without Washing Your Hair
No one else knows, because you’re a total wizard with dry shampoo and baby powder. But yeah, your hair is oilier than a piece of garlic bread.
You Discuss Your Sex Lives. Very Descriptively.
If you do this with anyone else, they might get grossed out. Or feel like they can never see you the same way again because, ew, sex! Yeah, you guys don’t have time for that kind of BS. Spill it.
You’ve Engaged In The Art Of In-Depth Romantic Text Message Analysis .
Your conversation will go something like this: Just look at this. Look at what he sent. What do you think it means that he put a smiley face there? Who does that? What do you think of what I replied? Do you think he was being sarcastic?
. And She Always Knows (Roughly) How Often You’re Having Sex
She’s also your dry spell ally.
You’ve Sung Along To вЂњWork Bitch.вЂќ Very Seriously.
Or other totally ridiculous songs that you can’t take seriously, but secretly love.
You Order A Shit-Ton Of Food When You Know She’s Coming Over, Because You’ll “Share” It
You know that you can’t eat a burger, hot wings, a salad, fries, onion rings, curly fries, AND three milkshakes alone. Luckily, your friend will help you.
You’ve Been Really Bratty In Front Of Her For No Reason .
Your best friend is the only person you would complain to when it comes to subpar customer service, or when your phone decides to not connect to WiFi right when you thought of a brilliant tweet.
. And She Calls You On It (Almost) Every Time
I don’t sound like that! Wait, do I?
You’ve Laughed After Farting In Front Of Her .
You don’t even need to profusely blush or pretend it wasn’t you.
. And You’ve Talked About Pooping
Pooping is a big part of life! It’s totally normal to discuss your pooping affairs with someone you trust.
You Both Complain About Your Periods. Very Descriptively
I’m not just talking about cramping and feeling like a whale. I’m talking about the crazy flow on day one and two that makes you wonder if you’re dying. Or that awkward fourth or fifth day, when you’re not bleeding enough to warrant a tampon, but wearing a panty liner is still annoying.
You’ve Brought Her To Family Events, Even Though Your Family Is Super Crazy .
Because your best friend loves you, no matter what kind of baggage you bring along with you.
On National Best Friends Day, you have the chance to let your best friend know exactly how much you love and appreciate them, because it’s National Best Friends Day. This holiday is special for a lot of reasons: For one thing, your bestie probably deserves all of the love in the world, and this is a great day to fill them in on exactly how much they mean to you. For another thing, it’s the perfect opportunity to send your bestie a funny and heartwarming best friend text message to remind them just how much they mean t you. Because for realsies, National Best Friends Day is pretty great, and you absolutely need to reach out to your own BFF. If you do, why not make the text sweet but also hilarious? We’ve got some ideas for funny text messages to send to your best friends on National Best Friends Day that everyone will love.
After all, you could send a really punny text letting them know how “egg-cellent” they are вЂ” but sometimes it’s more fun to get them laugh-crying rather than just laughing, you know? Save all of your hilarious one-liners for social media! Instead, text your bestie something heartwarming and funny.
I mean, let’s be honest, that gets boring fast. If you need some quotes to get you started, there are a whole bunch below вЂ” and of course, feel free to use any of them that fit your friendship. Enjoy!
This is an adorable way to say that you want to be best friends forever, until you’re both really old. And honestly, what better message is there?
If you and your BFF have trouble acting natural around anyone other than yourselves, this is the perfect text to send. They’ll totally get exactly what you’re trying to say.
Hey, what else are best friends for? Sometimes you need your friend to remind you that you are way better off without your ex in your life anymore. even if they have to get a little dramatic to do so.
Really, anyone who ever gets to take part in a conversation with you two is #blessed. Just remind them of that and then go about having yet another amazingly hilarious and smart convo.
This is a cute way of saying a genuine thank you while also making your friend smile. Your best friend should be the person you go to whenever you really need someone to talk to, and need some serious advice.
This is the perfect text to send any of your besties who you’ve been friends with since forever. You know, the people who have been there for you since the awkward days of high school, middle school, and maybe even earlier than that.
This is really saying a lot! Your friend should be honored to receive a text like this one. And if you both have a serious love for horror movies and zombie stuff, then they will definitely get behind this feeling.
Of course you would help your BFF through any injury! But, you know, if it was kind of hilarious, you’d have to get a good laugh in there. That’s what friends do!
Take a little bit of a jab at yourself with this one вЂ” although I’m sure you are also a pretty great friend too. It makes the text funnier and will definitely make them smile. It’s also a nice way to be heartfelt without being too corny.
Wow, how can you turn down a beautiful sentiment like this one? In all seriousness, what best friends don’t have a lot of fun just teasing each other all the time? It’s one of the perks of being that close to someone.
A true classic. You can’t go wrong with this message. Your best friend has to stay in your life simply because you guys are too close to contemplate not being in each other’s lives.
Which one of you is the one pushing each other into bad situations that end up being hilarious? Impossible to know in certain situations.
Hey, what are friends for if not for constantly laughing at each other? This is a reminder to your bestie that you’ll always be there to keep them from taking themselves too seriously, and that’s definitely a good thing.
Again. what are friends for? Of course you would never say a negative word about your bestie! And you’ll always defend them if someone else tries to say something behind their back.
If you want to be sweet but you don’t want to be too sappy, send this message to them. It’s like, “I love you, but also I would laugh at you if you got into a funny accident that didn’t leave you hurt.” Your friend will appreciate it.
When you were a kid, it hurt like hell, but it might feel even worse as an adult: When you’re in a huge fight with your BFF, it can honestly feel as if the world is collapsing in on itself. It sounds dramatic, but it’s true: A huge fight with your bestie feels downright terrible, and most people agree that breaking up with your best friend is way worse than breaking up with a romantic partner.
So how do you deal after you’ve had a huge fight with your best friend, no matter how bad things may seem right now?
Here’s our advice for how to handle a major fight with your bestie.
1Take the initiative to talk things out.
It may be easier to completely ghost your pal, especially if you’re really angry or hurt by your blowout. You might feel embarrassed by something you said or did. Either way, you should absolutely make a solid attempt to work things out, because the longer you go without speaking, the more awkward things will get.
Yes, even if you feel you were the one who was more wronged, it’s important to remember that this is your best friend, and there’s a good chance she’s feeling hurt by something you said or did, too. No matter how mature we think we are, very few of us fight fairly all the time.
3Try to see things from their perspective.
This one is tough, because it’s always a challenge to see things from someone else’s point of view, but sometimes huge fights stem from one small misunderstanding. Figuring out what’s really going on — and how exactly your friend was hurt — will help you understand what happened, while hopefully allowing you to prevent the same thing from happening again in the future.
4Remind them how much they mean to you.
Putting yourself out there and opening up to someone (even your best friend!) is scary as hell, so it may be easier for you to write your feelings out in a note or letter. There are likely multiple reasons why you consider her your best friend, and sometimes when we fight with loved ones, we can lose sight of why we love them so much in the first place. Telling her why she’s your best friend in the first place can remind her that your friendship is worth working on.
5Give them space.
After you’ve made a solid effort to work through things, you’ve got to let her cool off. It might totally suck not to get your daily BFF texts or not making plans for your Friday night happy hour date, but you’ve got to give her time and space to sort her feelings out and begin the healing process.
6Listen to your needs now.
Remember that a fight with your best friend has taken an emotional toll on you also. So now is the time to be your own best friend. Take as much time as you need to heal and work through your feelings, and practice self-care in the ways that work for you. Maybe that involves talking it out with a therapist, or meditating, or sweating it out via a grueling gym sesh. If you’re just in the mood to watch sad movies and cry it out — do it. You deserve to heal too.
7Don’t let outside influences cloud your judgment.
It might be tempting to vent about your bestie to your other friends, significant other, or even your parents, but resist the urge to trash talk her. It might feel good in the moment, but it can definitely make things uncomfortable should you eventually make up and become BFFs again. Or worse — if she hears that you trashed her to someone else — that will only hurt her even more.
8Weigh all your options.
As long as you let enough time pass to let yourself clearly assess the situation, you should figure out what the next steps are with your best friend, for better or worse. Unfortunately, this might mean ending the friendship for good, or it might mean setting certain boundaries to prevent the same fight from happening again.
9Decide if the friendship is worth saving.
The stark reality is that people sometimes change, and friends drift apart. Just because you were best friends for years doesn’t mean they are a healthy, positive influence in your life, and unfortunately, it sometimes takes a big fight to understand this.
Felicia Pressley, PhD, a licensed professional counselor and assistant professor at Argosy University told Reader’s Digest: “Misunderstandings are inevitable in life. Evaluate the friendship and ask yourself, ‘Is this a toxic relationship? Is this ‘friend’ always putting me down?’” If this huge fight is just another in a series of squabbles, you might really be better off without her in your life.
10Agree to disagree.
If you can’t come to a resolution, and you decide to part ways as friends, learn a lesson from this and keep it in mind for other relationships in your life. Susan Kuczmarski, EdD, author of Becoming a Happy Family told Reader’s Digest how to do this, explaining you should “Take responsibility for your own failures and learn from them, express gratitude for the good and bad times — both are teachers and blessings — and show patience and forgiveness.”
Have you ever met someone you just click with? When you just look into his or herВ eyes and can’t help but smile, laugh and want to hug that personВ for absolutely no reason? I get this feelingВ every once in a while, and it brings me joy like no other.
However, sometimes this person is not someone who can be in your life, and you know it within seconds of meeting him or her. That is painful.
It’s amazing what can start fromВ something as simple asВ this:
“Hi, so what part of the city do you live in?”
“Hi, actually I’m just visiting, I’m from (fill in the blank).”
New York City is one of the major tourist cities in the world, and this happens a lot here.
I know some people travel every day for a living and can relate. Some of the best memories I have areВ ofВ people I met whoВ were just passing through.
I’ve met guys from Australia who’veВ showed me pictures of their pet kangaroos, took me to Broadway shows and shared fun nights on the town with me. I met an awesome woman who quit her job to travel the world solo and inspires me every day. I’ve met countless guys from Ireland, and France, and womenВ from London, and Belgium. Sometimes, these people are from places in the US like Texas, California, Oregon, etc.
Usually, when someone tells me he or she isВ visiting, I’ll smile, recommend aВ few fun things to do, thenВ walk away. Because what’s the point of trying to extend the conversation? However, there are those rare people who enter your life, and you just want to be around themВ for as long as you can.
Each person I meet serves a purpose.
I know not every guyВ I meet is going to be my soulmate and not every womanВ I meet is going to be my best friend, but if I were to brush off every person I meet (or never say hi to anyone) because of this,В I’d have one hell of a boring life. I’ve gone on a date in Paris, ran across the Champs-Г‰lysГ©es, hopped fences and jumped in moonlit lakes.
I’ve frolicked onВ a cruise ship, hiked mountains, learned to two-step and swing dance. I would not trade a single one of these memories for the life of me. I’ve learned so much about myself and also about what brings people together on a human level. No matter how different someone is from you, there is always some kind of common ground.
Each person I meet breaks my heart a little.
If you never feel a little heartbreak, how can you ever feel love? It’s kind of a catch-22, but it’s true. It’s been a while since I’ve had a real relationship and been in love. Sometimes I just get sad that I’m heartbroken because feeling something is better than feeling nothing. It means you’re human, and you’re living life. However, when I do feel chemistry with someone, a little piece of me falls in love with that person, and I mean it sincerely.
So when I look at someone, knowing from the start that this is it, we’ll only have this one night together, it breaks my heart. I get attached to people, and I hate to think I mightВ never see this person again. Seriously, it scares me.
I want to know everything about people, and I want to share who I am with them, too. Unfortunately, this is not always possible in life, but that’s the beauty of it. It makes you live in the moment and soak up everything that is happening while you can. It reminds me not to take a single day for granted.
So I’d ratherВ beВ heartbroken a little, than to never love at all.
Each person I meet brings me joy.
Each personВ makes my world a little smaller. The memories stay with me, and if I care about someone once, I will care about him or herВ always. Even if we stopВ talking and someone becomes a distant memory, I’ll still think of it like a sad Nicholas Sparks’ ending. That’s just who I am; every person I meet is a part of who I am. I’d like to think that when I travel to new places, I will always makeВ connections like this.
I will meet people who challenge me and make me grow, who teach me about their cultures and foods and who make me realize my dreams are bigger than I had planned. I will meet people who make me laugh uncontrollably, whose goodnight kisses gives me chills and whom I hope I will run into again one day, if fate will have it.
These people make my world go ’round. What’s the point of life if you always stay in one place, and always do the same things with the same people?
I might never see some of these people again. We might not be meant to cross paths more than once, but then again, we might. That, to me, is beautiful.
The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
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- How to Do the Heimlich Maneuver
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- 9 Signs You Should Reconsider a Friendship
They say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but what about the idea of having no enemies at all? If you know someone who hates you, it’s probably because you two had some type of blowout or disagreement that hurt the other person deeply. While you might not be able to get your friendship back to its old glory, it is possible to mend fences and get your old friend to like you again.
Find out why the person hates you. Hate is a very strong word, so it’s likely there’s a good reason for his feelings. If he won’t talk to you directly about the problem, try to ask one of his family members or close friends about his feelings.
How to Nicely Tell Your Mom to Back Off
Apologize for any wrongdoing on your part, even if he wronged you also, according to “Reader’s Digest.” Take responsibility for the way your actions or words have effected this person and be sincere. Explain yourself without making excuses and clear up any misunderstandings or miscommunication.
Make things right if at all possible. Examine the situation and all the people involved to determine if there’s anything you still need to do to make everything right or at least better.
How to Do the Heimlich Maneuver
Talk about how your friendship was before the event that caused things to turn bad. For you to effect someone so badly that he now hates you, it’s likely he previously trusted you or thought highly of you before you let him down. Affirm your commitment to restoring the friendship 2.
Walk away if all of your best efforts haven’t cracked his heart open. Sometimes hurt or anger runs deep and it takes time for a person to heal from that pain according to “Psychology Today.” He may just need more time before he’s able to come around and be your friend again.
Snapchat, the popular mobile messaging application, integrates a “best friends” system that helps you keep track of whom you interact with on it the most. Based on whom you chat with on Snapchat most frequently (or not), Snapchat may assign a different “emoji” – a small symbol representing a person, emotion, activity, or object – to that friend on your Friends List.
But what if you want these symbols to show up for different friends? Or what if you don’t want these symbols to show up at all? Is there anything you can do? We’ll explain the answers in this article.
So, to recap, what are Snapchat “best friends”?
“Best Friends” on Snapchat are friends whom you send messages to often, and/or who send messages frequently to you. Depending on how regularly you and a friend interact with each other, the emoji used to represent your “best friend” status will change – for you, them, and your other friends.
Note that Snapchat keeps track of the specific number of times you interact with a certain friend, as well as the total number of times you’ve sent or viewed messages. These numbers not only factor into who are your “best friends”, but they also contribute to your “score” on Snapchat, which you can find beside the user name of pretty much anyone on Snapchat.
If you tap your own score, you can see a tally of the number of messages you’ve sent versus the number you’ve viewed.
So what does each emoji tell me about my “best friend” status with a person?
These are the default “best friend” emojis on Snapchat. If you’d like to customize them, instructions for doing so can be found in this help article on Snapchat.
|You recently added this user as a friend|
|You have at least one “best friend” (user you interact a lot with) in common with this friend, besides each other|
|This user is one of your “best friends”|
|You and this user are each other’s “#1 best friend” (most frequent recipient of snaps)|
|You and this user have been each other’s “#1 best friends” for at least two weeks|
|You and this user have been each other’s “#1 best friends” for at least two months|
|This friend has the same “#1 best friend” as you do|
|This friend has you as their “#1 best friend,” but they are not one of your “best friends”|
|This friend has had at least one of their snaps replayed within the last 24 hours|
|You are sharing a “Snapstreak” with this friend (each sending the other at least one snap every 24 hours); number denotes length (in days)|
|You have had a “Snapstreak” of at least 100 days with this friend|
Alright, so can I delete or change who my “best friends” are?
Snapchat doesn’t currently let you manually choose who your “best friends” are. It also doesn’t let you disable “best friend” emojis, though you can customize them. The best you can do is either delete users from your friends list entirely, or just change how often you interact with them.
The good news is that nobody except you can see who all your “best friends” are by going to your Friends List. Your friends can, however, see if they have “best friends” in common with you (as denoted by the “Mutual BFs” and “Mutual Besties” emojis).
How do I change my “best friends” by modifying my Snapchat behaviour?
Snapchat assigns you “best friends” based on how often you exchange messages with them, right? So, all you have to do is send more messages to the friends whom you want to be your “best friends”! Conversely, just stop sending messages to friends for whom you want to remove the “best friend” status.
How do I delete someone from my Friends List on Snapchat?
If you really don’t want someone to be your “best friend” on Snapchat, you can remove them from your Friends List altogether. Here’s how to do that:
Turn on your mobile device, then find the Snapchat application and tap it to open it. Once it has launched, log into your account.
Once the main screen appears, tap the ghost icon to open the main menu.
When the main menu opens, tap My Friends to see your Friends List.
Once you reach your Friends List, tap the name of the friend whom you want to delete. A dialogue box will pop up; from here, tap the gear icon to access additional options.
Now, all you have to do is tap Remove Friend to delete this person from your Friends List. You don’t get a confirmation dialogue box asking if you really want to remove them, but don’t panic! You can simply find them and add them as a friend again if you delete them by accident.
That’s about everything we can tell you about changing or removing your “best friends” on Snapchat! If you want to learn how to add friends or chat with them – or do any of Snapchat’s other basic functions, for that matter – be sure to head over to our Snapchat course!
Some people are just really difficult to let go of. ThatвЂ™s one of the lasting side effects of having loved someone. And often, the stronger the love, the more difficult it will be to let go of it all and move on with your life, especially if you spend a lot of time remembering how good it once was and believing it could be that good again. Even when you come to accept that it is time to move on, it is not always easy to get over someone you think youвЂ™ll never get over.
Losing someone you thought was your forever person may leave you feeling blindsided, and your first instinct might be to try to get back with them. But even if you have fully decided you definitely want to get over this person (which is a major step in itself, so congrats), there can still be a long road ahead for you. However, it is important to remember that you will not always feel like this. In fact, there are a number of steps you can take to get out of this funk faster and get on your way back to a happier, healthier place in life.
1. Give It Time
Time really can heal all wounds. How much time, however, depends on the individual. If this is someone you never imagined yourself moving on from, then youвЂ™re probably going to need more time than you imagine. But move on you shall вЂ” as long as you let yourself.
“Allow yourself to feel sad, to cry, to simply grieve the loss of something that could have been, but don’t let it paralyze you,” LA-based relationship therapist Dr. Gary Brown previously explained to Elite Daily.
So donвЂ™t rush moving on; just slow down a bit, and take the time you need to just heal.
2. Get Some Closure
Getting closure is one of the best ways you can understand why you two wouldnвЂ™t have worked out. Regardless of whether you were dumped or you were the one doing the dumping, if youвЂ™re still hung up on this person, then youвЂ™re going to need to do some digging.
Maybe youвЂ™re bad for each other. Maybe the timing was just never right. Or maybe you two just didnвЂ™t have it in you to keep trying to make the relationship work.
Whatever it is, find the reason (or, often, reasons) you need to let go, and hang on to that instead. “Remember specific examples of things they said or did, or didnвЂ™t say or didnвЂ™t do as a reminder” of why you two might not have worked out in the long term, Dr. Brown said.
3. Focus On Yourself
If youвЂ™ve spent a significant amount of time focused on someone else, once theyвЂ™re out of your life, it may be hard to refocus back onto yourself. But self-care is essential. вЂњI encourage clients to get вЂback to themselvesвЂ™ by reconnecting to their inner pulse, their internal thoughts and feelings,вЂќ Liz Higgins, LMFT and founder of Millennial Life Counseling, suggested. One way to do this, she said, is by journaling: вЂњThis could be as basic as giving yourself 10 minutes a day to just write the thoughts that come to you, or to pick structured prompts like вЂfive things I’m grateful for in my lifeвЂ™ or вЂqualities I feel I brought/bring to my relationships.вЂ™вЂќ
There are a number of things you can do to make sure youвЂ™re prioritizing yourself. Find what feels good for you.
4. Remember There Are Other People Out There
“Just remember that there’s mathematically more than just one person who you can be happy with,” Dr. Brown noted. “Don’t get hung up on the false idea that there’s only one.”
Of course, getting yourself to the point where youвЂ™re ready to seriously date other people is difficult, and you shouldnвЂ™t move on to this step until you feel youвЂ™re actually ready to do it вЂ” not just for your sake, but for the sake of your potential future partner.
“You are hurting, and if you don’t want others to hurt you, don’t hurt others by using them to get over your negative emotions,” Dr. Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist (DHS, MA, BA) and founder of Eros Coaching, previously told Elite Daily.
5. Understand Loss Is Part Of Life
Moving on can be extremely painful, but as Dr. Lee said, the is part of being human. “Pain tells us we are alive вЂ” we can stay with [it], embrace it and work through it one breath at time and one day at a time,” she said. So, even though it might hurt at the beginning, these steps toward getting over someone will ultimately help you feel better, and hopefully work toward a better, more fulfilling future for yourself.
This article was originally published on Jan. 5, 2016
You think everything is going great with this special someone in your life, until suddenly things go south. This guy is no longer interested in you, and basically left you hanging. What’s next? You have two options: you can either leave him and find someone else, or try to get this guy to like you again. Think that’s impossible? It’s not! It’ll be a big challenge, yes, and it won’t always work; but here’s 9 steps to (possibly) get a guy to like you again!
Yeah, it really sucks he doesn’t like you anymore. You’re probably feeling a little crushed, heartbroken, and lacking self esteem. But STOP. You need to think positively in order to get him back. Don’t think about the past, think about the future- with him by your side. This happy, positive attitude will encourage you and give you a confident glow he will certainly notice.
Keep Yourself Busy
Winning him over shouldn’t be the only thought crossing your mind; that’s just downright obsessive. You need to keep yourself busy and focus on yourself. Maybe try a new workout regime or pick up a new hobby. Not only will this keep your mind preoccupied so you’re not over-thinking everything to death, but he will also notice that you’re not moping around because of him, and guys like that.
Keep Your Distance
So he’s not interested in you anymore; okay, whatever! You don’t care anyways. Okay, so you actually do, but he definitely doesn’t need to know that! It’s really the oldest trick in the book: keeping your distance and acting like this guy doesn’t even really exist. He will be shocked you’re not running back to him or even sad that he’s not interested anymore, and this may actually peek his interest like never before. We always want what we can’t have, right? And if you’re acting like he doesn’t matter, he may come running back.
Start Chatting Again
When enough time has passed and the time is right, strike up a conversation. It could be as simple as a smile and a “Hey, nice shirt” while you’re passing the school hallways, or a “Good morning!” when he comes into work Monday morning. If you don’t work or go to school together, consider sending him a friendly text. It could be personal, like “Hey don’t forget to watch the NFL game tonight” (replace ‘NFL game’ with his favorite team), or something a bit more casual like “Hey, haven’t heard from you in awhile. How’s it going?”.
(BUT Don’t Overdo It)
If you’re going to strike up a convo, don’t overdo it; you certainly do NOT want to look needy, that will repel him in an instant. Keep things very short and to-the-point. If he doesn’t answer you right away, let it be. Be patient. He will eventually answer you. And when he does, don’t respond so quickly there’s smoke coming off your fingers. Keep things very limited and carefree., and give him the impression you’re a little too busy to respond right away. Guys love it when a girl keeps them waiting (not too long though, of course). If you’re talking in person, keep the conversation to a minimum. Let him instigate the next round of communication.
So the conversations are going really well, and he’s starting to get a little bit closer to you. You notice that adorable smile appearing more and more often and he might be throwing out a few compliments and flirts here and there. Well, why not return the favor by getting a little flirty yourself? How else is this guy supposed to know you’re interested in him if you don’t! Throw out a flirt here and there, but like we mentioned before, don’t overdo it. You don’t want him to think you’re easy or will do anything to get his attention back. A little touchy-feely flirty attitude every now and then will keep him interested and coming back for more. You can even wait to send him a flirty text at the end of the day, something like “Hey, by the way I loved that blue shirt on you ;)” or “It was really nice talking to you earlier, you always know how to make me laugh :)”.
Bring Up Some Fun Memories
Bringing up some fun memories is an easy and quick way to remind him how much FUN the two of you have together. Ease it into the conversation so it’s not so obvious. For example, if you’re talking about what you’re going to do this weekend, maybe throw out a fun memory you have of something you guys did one weekend. Simply saying “Hey, remember when we went on that awesome trip to Vegas and you won $400?” or “Remember when we went bowling and I dropped the ball on my toe?” will bring a smile to his face as he reminisces on all the great times. He will remember you for the fun gal you are and won’t help but want to make some more memories with you.
If everything is going well and you feel he’s starting to pick up interest in you again, it’s time to meet up! Pick something fun and casual at first; it doesn’t have to be a five star restaurant or anything too ‘date-like’. When you show up, make sure you’re wearing clothes you know he will love (remember when he said he loved you in that light blue top and blue jeans, or that really cute yellow summer dress?) and put on your best face. Make sure you’re hair is done and don’t forget to wear that gorgeous smile as much as possible. This is a pivotal moment in the win-him-back game, so you need to be extra careful going in to the meetup. Make sure you’re not too eager, as this can be a huge turn off for men!
Have you ever gotten a guy to like you again? How did you do it?
7 tips to make your love come back
*Thanks for your support! This article has been read by over 150,000 people in the past year.*
I know you want your ex back. But you’re also thinking about moving on. You know that person has faults but your heart still tells you to go back, thinking about how good they are sometimes. You just want to be with that person again, for better or for worse. And guess what? More than 80% of us think of that when we break up.
Then you cry, and maybe even look up to the sky, maybe even pray and think, ‘Please… Just let me get back with my ex. I hope my ex is just making a mistake and he/she wasn’t thinking it through. I know we are perfect for each other. I want to just call my ex up and say “I love you”.’ Then you look at your phone every half an hour, check your messenger, facebook, instagram, twitter, and heck… email inbox, to see if your ex would want to talk to you, all ready to get back together.
STOP. IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
Guess what? Your ex wanted to break up with you because he/she thinks that something is wrong in your relationship. That’s it’s not going to work out.
Well, at least, your ex thinks that you’re not worth the effort.
Sorry to break it to you, honey, that’s the hard truth.
Remember my other post? Everyone has faults and problems. If your partner wants to breakup with you, it means that they don’t love you enough and don’t want to work things out with you.
So how can you get your ex back if they think you’re not worth it?
You need to make them feel you are worth it.
You need to increase your value.
You need to make them feel you’re too busy for them because (a) your life is wonderful (b) you have many people who would want to be with you.
As an example, imagine there’s a pair of shoes you could have got for $50. You quite like it, but you thought it was too expensive so you left. The next day, you passed by again and people started lining up in front of the store, just for those pair of shoes. The price of those shoes became $150. Would you feel like you’ve missed out?
That’s exactly how we want your ex to feel.
That he/she missed out.
You need to make your ex feel that you love yourself. If you love yourself, people will love you, including your ex.
So here’s what you have to do:
- Don’t contact your ex
your ex would think he/she is the best person for you. This act just confirms to your ex that you are not that good, nobody else wants you, and it just confirms to your ex it’s right to have left you.
I did that before. It ended up in 2 tragedies: (a) ex didn’t pick up the call/didn’t reply to my message (b) ex telling me again we’ll never get back together. #burn
- Don’t post negativity on social media
First, your acquaintances will unfollow you and seeing the negativity, they won’t even want to go near you or introduce new people to you. Second, new friends will all know that you’re sad and don’t want to know you more or else they’ll get infected with your sadness. Third, for the friends who really care about you — you can just go the traditional way and meetup with them and cry your eyes out.
It’s really stupid to get more attention by being negative. No one likes to give that kind of attention.
- Don’t hurt yourself
Why are you hurting yourself for someone who doesn’t care? That’s really dumb.
- Don’t just get into relationships easily
I know you feel hurt and you probably feel worthless right now because feel like your ex doesn’t want you. You are eager to feel loved and hopefully ‘My ex will know that I’m in another relationship and my ex will feel jealous, and will beg to come back.’ STOP. That’s not self-love. That’s called my-ex-is-still-the-center-of-my-universe. Everything you do is because you want to get your ex back. But actually, everything you do from now on, should be focused on yourself.
It may seem like they’re contradictory — To get your ex back by not trying to get him/her back.
That’s exactly the point.
That’s what makes us human.
You always want what you don’t get.
And you always want what you think is good for you. So how can you make yourself better? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get some muscles, eat healthier, etc) and a good attitude/be open-minded. Join meditation/yoga/learn new things. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version of yourself.
- Go out with friends and meet new people
So now you’re Version 2.0, you need to Flaunt it to others. Get out more!
- Start doing something that’s been on the Back burner
You need to have to courage to do what you love. That’s the most important point to love yourself.
For example, if you’ve always wanted to try horse-riding, start learning it. Enroll for a course.
If you wanted to start a business, it’s time to start learning how to do that and surround yourself with people who are doing the same.
If you always wanted to go back to your high school and visit your favourite teacher, it’s time to do that.
If you wanted to try that new restaurant and want to do a pedicure, go do it.
This is the time where you just have to care about yourself.
- Take pictures
When you go out or have new experiences, take pictures of your new and improved appearance. When you’re doing your favourite things, take a picture. You can also take pictures with your friends. Be happy. Then post on social media like instagram or facebook. This will help you attract new friends too! Your ex may or may not see these photos. Who cares? You’re enjoying yourself and you will attract more like-minded people. But please don’t post too much. Posting once every two days is a good amount to not annoy others while showing your amazing life.
While you are doing all these, don’t even try to think about your ex or what he/she would like. Do what YOU like. Be the best version of yourself.
I won’t be surprised if your ex starts contacting you again in whichever way. Most of them do.
And when he/she contacts you again, just treat them like an acquaintance, never treat them like an ex. Be nice. If you don’t feel that you’re ready to speak to him/her, then just ignore it. If they ask to meet, don’t do that because although you look all healed, I know it will still hurt when you meet again.
Don’t just start the relationship again after only a few calls/contact.
Afterall, your value is much higher now. Your ex is just another pursurer. Let them wait a while and take as much time as you want to evaluate the person again before you get back. You might even find someone who loves you more that your ex!
Can you really end up Best Friends with someone you rarely (or never) snap?
Snapchat laid to rest an entire league of cybersnooping when they made their Best Friends feature private in an update last January. The notorious Best Friends list, for those who aren’t snap-savvy, is literally a list of people who a Snapchat user most frequently interacts with through the app.
In the past, everyone’s lists were public, so nosy curious people could casually check out who their (ex)bae was sending snaps to. But after Snapchat made the lists private, teens freaked out because they could no longer get their creep on. Users can still view their own Best Friends list, but nobody else’s.
Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel revealed that the change was made to protect the identities of “high-profile” app users. He promised that once these privacy concerns are addressed, Best Friend lists will return in their full-fledged, very public glory.
Many people, however, feel like their Best Friends list never accurately represents their snapping behavior anyway.
For all the drama these lists can cause — see exhibit A and exhibit B — the exact mechanisms behind the feature are unclear, as the above tweets prove. Snapchat states on their support site that Best Friends are “selected automatically by a magical Snapchat friendship algorithm.”
K. That sounds cool and all, Snapchat, but jealous girlfriends and boyfriends worried about their significant others cheating on them need a little bit more to go on than just a magical friendship algorithm.
We wanted more info about this mysterious algorithm, so we decided to test things out for ourselves. Over the course of two weeks, we conducted Snapchat experiments to nail down answers to our biggest Best Friend questions:
>> Can you be Snapchat Best Friends with someone you never snap?
>> Can you be Snapchat Best Friends with someone you rarely snap?
Here’s what we found out:
Can you be Snapchat Best Friends with someone you’ve never sent a snap to?
The Test: For one week, someone — let’s call her Friend A (starred in the graph below) for the sake of simplicity — who I’ve never snapped with previously sent me at least 10 snaps per day, but I never responded to her. I continued snapping my other friends as I normally would throughout the week and recorded how many interactions I shared with each of them.
The Results: Even though I technically had the highest number of Snapchat interactions ( = number of snaps sent + number of snaps received) with Friend A, she never ended up on my Best Friends list. Friend B, who I shared only eight interactions with, was my only Best Friend for the week.
The Answer: No! If you never reply to someone’s snaps, no matter how many they send you, they’ll likely never end up on your Best Friends list.
Can you be Snapchat Best Friends with someone you rarely send snaps to?
The Test: The following week, I repeated the first experiment with Friend L (starred below), who was again someone I had never snapped with before this. This time around, I made a minor change and responded to her 10 snaps with one snap per day. I continued snapping with my other friends normally, and you can see from the graph that several of my friends from the first experiment were also part of the second.
The Results: Two days into the experiment, Friend L took the second spot on my Best Friends list, after I had sent her exactly two snaps ever. Friend B, my only top friend from the first experiment, remained #1. Three days later, Friend L overtook Friend B. By the end of the week, however, Friend M — who sent and received roughly the same number of snaps to me and I did to him — was #1.
Answer: Yes, you can be Snapchat Best Friends with someone you rarely reply to, but responding to each other equally seems to place them higher on your list.
So there you have it, folks. The Best Friends list likely involves much more than just the pure number of interactions you share with someone. Judging from our very unscientific — but still all in good fun! — experiments, a one-sided Snapchat convo probably won’t land you on someone’s Best Friends list. The bad news? This means that if your bae’s #1 Best Friend is an ex, it’s probably safe to assume that it’s not the ex sending all the snaps. Sorry 🙁
Have you ever felt betrayed by someone? Maybe you have felt hurt and did not know where to turn to for comfort. Or, you could have let the betrayal take over your life and your emotions. Betrayal could come from anyone, it could be from your partner, your best friend or a family member. But do you wonder how to get over betrayal and finally trust them again?
When betrayal occurs you can find yourself feeling overwhelmed with your emotions and not sure what you should do to cope with the betrayal. You may find yourself asking ‘should you forgive, or forget?’ It’s easy to make rash decisions or get lost in your emotions. This is why it’s important to assess your situation and know what is the best way for you to deal with your betrayal.
How To Get Over Betrayal: 5 Steps To Take Right now
If you have been betrayed by someone, you may be feeling helpless, angry or stressed. It’s hard to know what to do to make yourself better, which is why I am going to discuss some ways that will help you to get over the betrayal. Take a look at my 5 ways to help you learn how to get over the betrayal, think about what will help you and give them a try; the worst thing to do is nothing at all.
1. Make A Plan For Emotional Recovery
You need to know what is best for your own recovery and having a plan and knowing what you are going to do next will really help you in dealing with betrayal.
Take a step back from the situation and try not to dwell or own the betrayal, the betrayal itself says nothing about you. Try and plan how you want to deal with the situation, whether you are going to forgive and forget or forgive and move on.
It is not healthy to hold all of these feelings and emotions to yourself so a good way to help with this, is to find someone you can confide in, maybe a family member, or even writing a journal. It helps to know what you are going to do to help yourself with your emotional recovery.
2. Detach From People You Don’t Trust
If you feel someone is untrustworthy it is worth staying away from them.
If you know that they are someone who will break your trust or is likely to betray you, it is not worth staying and putting yourself in a harmful situation. Doing this will only lead you to feel hurt. It can also cause you to start to distrust others once a betrayal has happened to you.
You can control who you spend your time with, so make sure they are worthy of your time and treat you with the respect that you deserve. If you can spend time with people who you can trust and keep you positive you will feel a lot better.
3. Take Time For Yourself
When someone betrays you there are a lot of different emotions that you have to deal with, which can be very difficult. This can be particularly hard when you still have to be around the person who has betrayed you. If this is your partner, it is probably worth asking for space and taking some time apart.
Hang around with other people who you can confide in and will help you to stay positive. It’s also good to take care of yourself when you are alone, it may be worth having a look at my self-care ideas to get you started.
4. Avoid Retaliation
You are probably already aware of the saying ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right’. This is still very true when it comes to speaking about betrayal.
When someone has hurt you it is very easy to feel angry and make a hasty decision (if you want to know more about dealing with anger take a look at my anger management tips).
Anger and violence is not the answer, and will also only make you feel worse. Retaliation will cause you more grief and anger, it is not a good way to deal with betrayal.
If you can take control of your feelings and not let the betrayal take over, you can find many more positive ways of dealing with a betrayal that will benefit you.
5. Choose To Forgive
Forgiving can be one step that you take in dealing with your betrayal. If you can forgive that person, and let go of the negative feelings that you have you will start to feel much better. You will most likely be able to do this after you have taken some time for yourself.
However, forgiving does not always mean rebuilding a relationship with that person. It could be letting go of the negative feelings you have and moving on. Whether you want to rebuild a relationship or let go, you still need to forgive by letting go of the negative feelings you have and not holding on to the betrayal.
Learn To Trust Again And Remove Negativity From Your Life
The problem with negativity is that it is all around us. It comes from media, family, friends, and even our own thoughts.
Unfortunately, it is sometimes all too easy to get consumed by negativity. But it doesn’t have to be forever and you can take active steps to remove it from your life.
If you are ready to discover the power of the Ho’oponopono method, be sure to grab your free guide. Dr. Joe Vitale, from The Secret, reveals all in his brand new ebook.
3 Straightforward Steps to a Relationship that Lasts
What does marriage have to do with leadership? If you are married, everything. Nothing will undermine your effectiveness as a leader faster than a bad marriage.
Your marriage is a living example of what it is like to be in a close relationship with you. This is why it is so important that leaders get this right if they want to influence others.
Getting Our Needs Met
Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is very me-centered. Gail and I often talk to people who are frustrated with their spouses. Most of this stems from the fact that they are not getting what they think they need or what they think they should be getting.
What does your marriage have to do with the effectiveness of your leadership? Everything. Michael Hyatt
I am not saying that it is wrong to give voice to your needs. I am saying that it is often an ineffective way to get them met, unless you first sow the seeds of generosity and servanthood. (This is also good practice for being a leader in any sphere of life.)
Gail and I have been married for almost thirty-eight years. We can both honestly say that we are one another’s best friends. We talk constantly, exercise and go on long walks together, and eat almost every meal together. We just love being in each other’s company.
But what if you don’t have this kind of relationship with your spouse? We work with enough couples to know that this kind of intimacy and friendship is rare. But, honestly, we are not special.
I don’t want to be naive, but I don’t think it is that difficult—if you are willing to make the investment. If you are, then I would recommend three straightforward steps:
Step 1. Make a List of What You Would Want in a Best Friend
If you were going to advertise on Craigslist for a best friend, what would the ad look like? Perhaps it might look like this:
Prospective candidates will:
- Make me feel good about being me.
- Affirm my best qualities (especially when I am feeling insecure)
- Call out the best in me, and hold me accountable to the best version of myself.
- Listen without judging or trying to fix me.
- Give me the benefit of the doubt.
- Extend grace to me when I am grumpy or having a bad day.
- Remember my birthday, favorite foods, music, and art.
- Know my story and love me regardless.
- Spend time with me, just because they enjoy my company.
- Speak well of me when I am not present.
- Serve me with a joyful spirit and without complaining.
- Speak the truth to me when no one else will.
- Never shame me, diminish me, or make me feel small.
- Become excited about what I am excited about.
- Celebrate my wins!
Step 2. Now Become That Person for Your Spouse
That’s right. Turn the table. Make this a list of the kind of friend you will become. I can promise you this: anyone who does half of these kinds of things will have more friends than he or she knows what to do with. But what if you focused this effort on your spouse? Think of the possibilities.
Psychologist John Gottman has spent years researching what makes some marriages flourish and others fall apart. He found lasting relationships comes down to friendship. Couples who stay married make an intentional effort to connect, share interests, and meet their spouse’s emotional needs.
Step 3. Keep Sowing the Seeds Until the Relationship Blossoms
How long will it take to create this kind of relationship? It all depends on where you are starting. For some, it might be several months. For others, it might take years. Friendships are like gardens; they must be cultivated. The key is to be consistent and persistent—without expectations.
There’s usually reason to hope in almost any circumstance. “[T]here’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship,” says Emily Esfhani Smith.
It’s amazing what can happen when we assume the best and stay meaningfully engaged with our spouses.
This is really nothing more than the application of the Golden Rule to marriage: “Do to others what you would want them to do to you” (Luke 6:31).
If couples would invest in one another like I am suggesting, the divorce rate would plummet. Romance is important. Sex is too. But a solid friendship is the foundation of everything else.
Question: What could you do today to be a better friend to your spouse? Share your answer on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.
Bonding With a New Friend
Friends start out at different levels. With some people, we might remain casual friends for a long time, and with others we have the opportunity to become closer. Sometimes friends will bond faster after they experience a shared activity, and other times closeness will happen naturally. The pace at which you bond is partially up to circumstances beyond your control (after all, some people just aren’t going to click), but you can try to become better friends with someone if you hit it off and want to speed things up.
Spend Time Together Outside of Your Usual Activities
If you only see each other casually (for things like your kid’s baseball games or the monthly book club), you won’t bond as close friends. In order for a meaningful friendship to happen, you have to do things outside of where you first met. A way to make that happen is to ask your potential friend to meet you for coffee or lunch. An activity that is short (a couple hours or less) but allows for conversation is the best way to get to know her better initially.
Ask Her About Herself
People enjoy talking about themselves, but in a new friendship, it’s especially important to get an understanding of your pal. By figuring out what she likes, what motivates her, and how you can help make her life easier, you’ll be getting to the heart of what makes her tick. It’s important that you really listen during the early stages of friendship, and not just rattle off questions one by one as a way to make conversation. By fully hearing what your friend is saying, you’ll be able to pick up on her emotional needs.
Some good questions to ask in the beginning include:
- How do you like the book club so far?
- What made you want to join the group?
- Tell me about your family. Do you have kids?
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- How did you get into your line of work?
As she answers, pay attention to her body language. For example, if you ask about kids and she smiles and gets excited, but says she doesn’t have them yet, chances are she is trying or looking forward to the time when she becomes a mother. If she pauses or gets a sad look in her eye, the subject might be a painful one, so tread lightly. Learn to navigate the emotions involved with conversation as much as the words that are said. (Here are a few other questions that can spark a good conversation.)
Share Things About Yourself
You can’t just ask someone questions and expect to get close to them. You have to share tidbits about your life as well. In fact, doing so can often encourage your friend to open up as well.
However, there is a difference between talking about your life in a way that invites conversation and dumping out a ton of personal information that leaves people uncomfortable. Share things in small doses, and use personal stories to help your new friend understand the circumstances about events you speak about. If you sense that the things you’re sharing are making people quiet, then back off until you get to know them better. Share something else about yourself instead.
If you feel you went too far in revealing something, make light of it. Say something like, “Too much TMI, right?” or “Sorry! Are you sure you didn’t ask me to share my most embarrassing story?” Making a joke about it will help get you and your new friend back on track and lighten the mood.
Initiate Calls and Emails
In the beginning, you might find that you’re the one that needs to make all the effort when it comes to getting together. It’s not unusual for new friendships to depend on the initiative of the person that really wants the friendship the most. It isn’t that the person you’re trying to be pals with isn’t interested, but you aren’t on their radar yet as a friend. So when they are going about their day, they aren’t thinking about scheduling time with you.
You, on the other hand, have the goal of making new friends (or specifically, this one particular friendship) on the forefront of your mind. As a result, you’ll probably be making the effort in the beginning. It can be difficult to always be the one to call or email suggesting a get-together. Logic would tell you that when you suggest a lunch, your friend should take turns and do it the next time, but in the beginning, that probably won’t happen. As time goes on, your friendship will fall on more even footing, but at first you’ll need to put in more effort. Don’t get discouraged. It’s all part of becoming better friends with someone.
It is often quite difficult to differentiate an authentic bag from an imitation bag. They have the same shape, the same color, the same feel, the same stitching, the same measurements, have even bothered to tune with the label of the brand. But there are little details that betray them over time.
The imitation bag fades in an unusual way when it gets wet or is exposed to the sun, the interior departments to store your most intimate things are disheveled and causing you discomfort, and even the handle you use to hang it on your shoulder is no longer as comfortable as at the beginning.
And what are you going to do? You still carry it because you feel sorry for throwing it and it is still “awesome”, although you will never take it to an important event.
The same goes for false friendships. They seem perfect for you and your circumstances, but you do not know why strange reason over time they are causing you more discomfort and headaches than what is expected of someone with whom you should share interesting conversations. They seem to fade over time.
It begins to be rare not to argue for nonsense, and not to feel tension by certain reactions. It just happens to you and you thought about it a long time ago. Your behavior leaves you want, but you don’t want to open your eyes at all. Discarding friends for life is not to anyone’s liking.
Here, we are going to give you some guidelines on the false copies, in “best friend version” that may sound to you.
Watch out! They are very subtle and you may think that they are not so much, but take them into account before your feelings overflow completely. But there is no doubt. If your friend has these behaviors, put the bag in the store and his number to the list of “unwanted” contacts. Or format everything, if you stick to it.
Here we go:
Your friend seems delighted to talk to you, yes, but always bad about other people. He doesn’t leave puppets with head and instead of throwing clouds of cotton by the mouth, he throws poison, of the mortal. If this has become your most common topic of conversation and you don’t feel comfortable in those talks then this probably isn’t your friend anymore.
He doesn’t talk about ideas, he talks about people. Talk about what happens to him constantly. It is impossible to engage in a conversation that doesn’t lead to a detailed analysis of the lives of others compared to theirs.
Your story is not so problematic. He says he understands you even though your problems are not that bad. You don’t want him to evaluate the importance of them. You just want to vent.
He makes comments out of tune “mine was better”, “I already did that “, “but I have also gone through that”, “is not so much …” His maturity level is 100 and yours is 0. Says he wants to help you but does very little practical things for it.
It tells you that you have many virtues when you are in a low moment, loves to be with you … but doesn’t dare to level up in any field. We will now move on to discouraging phrases, to “that always goes wrong” or “be realistic”. He is with you to the bad but doesn’t seem to enjoy when you are in the good ones.
He has no sense of humor, or at least yours. You love to laugh and if you say something funny will tell you “I cannot find grace”. You don’t know what to talk about anymore.
He asks you questions about other friends of yours and family, and it seems that with the intention also to judge them. You deny that, but he is insistent, he likes to know details that don’t concern him.
He is unpleasant, complaints, and is unloving. He has an enormous difficulty to tell you I love you or to give you a hug.
You’ve reached a point where you cannot do more, you tell him that the friendship needs to be improved. He is surprised but you stay with the idea of improvement purpose. You feel guilty for talking about these problems to someone close to you because you shouldn’t talk behind a friend’s back.
You have arrived late. There are too many things that will not fit you… yarn strips and bam!
He has made broth with your friends and acquaintances with the lowest form. With the most surrealistic lies. And with the most hurtful taunts.
Although little hurt. You don’t feel sorry. Now this person will be afraid that others pull the thread and that you don’t speak. Don’t worry. In front of people like this, don’t waste more than a minute of your time. You have stayed in glory and he or she with his viperine tongue.
Written by Ivana Kiki
Bachelor of Philology. Always looks at things from a brighter side and thinks everything comes from the head. She believes that the most important thing is to fulfill time with the people and activities we love. She cannot imagine a day without laughter, cup of tea/coffee and good music.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not reflect the view of LifeHacks.
Is friendship between a man and woman possible or is it just a myth, is the subject of another story. Many will only do the shake with their head in disbelief in the existence of a platonic relationship between persons of the opposite sex, and would argue that this is possible only in romantic TV sitcoms such as Sex and the City, where a woman’s best friend is the man who, of course, is gay.
However, it is possible that men and women maintain a platonic relationship. How? Simple, easy and even if both sides are sure that among them there is no physical attraction.
And what about when it occurs that your friend starts showing you that he has some different feelings for you, a lot stronger than friendship? We are representing you some ways to keep your friend deep in the friend zone:
Call him “my brother.”
This is a perfect way to show him that he is deep in the friend zone and that besides friends he can represent only your brother. If you show him that you consider him as your brother, he’ll know that you don’t find him sexy nor attractive. It will be great if he does not draw your attention that this is bothering him because it will mean that it has successfully got the message that you gave him.
Talk to him about the guys that you like
Speak to him about your problems with the other guys, how you feel and which doubts do you have. Or even better, seek his advice on what you should do so that you become more attractive to this guy, ask him for his “man’s opinion.” This procedure will surely make him comfortable placed and tucked in your friend zone.
Tell him constantly how much important for you is this friendship between you two
Many of them believe that their label of your best friend, love advisors and support in difficult situations, with time, will open the door to making them believe that in the future they will become something more than just a friend, so take care of it.
Always remind him of how much is important for you this friendship. From time to time, tell him that you are happy to have such a good friend, and he will know that this is the only way that you look at him and that the chances of becoming something more, are quite miserable.
Never dress up too much to meet with him
Well, this sounds a bit strange, because every girl likes to be dressed up well and that looks nice in every moment, but if you want to keep your perfect friendly relationship, you must not attract attention to yourself with your good looking. Do not hesitate to appear in the worst possible edition and look unattractive because it’ll help that your relationships remain purely friendly.
No physical contact
It is normal that sometimes friends give a hug to each other, kiss on the cheek and sometimes hold their hands in some happy moments. If you know that he feels for you, try to avoid this kind of physical contact. If not, you will inflame his feelings, and perhaps he will take the opportunity to move prohibited border which would greatly undermine your good friendly relationship.
Tell him absolutely everything comes to your mind
Well it is likely that, as in the case of a large number of girls you would not be so talkative with someone you like, but with a friend who has to stay friend you can talk about whatever comes to your mind, even the most boring topics such as how long have you been looking for that silk stocking that you wanted. These things certainly would not share with someone you observe from the romantic side, right?
You need to be sincere and specific
Perhaps that boy does not pick up the signals very well, and you have to be much clearer, or perhaps he already understood, but he is so persistent, that is ready to fight because he hopes that you will finally pay any attention. In either situation, a powerful weapon is a sincerity. In everyday talk with him in person, WhatsApp or something that you publish in your Facebook you respond him with phrases like “thank you, friend” or “that’s why you are and always will be my best friend“, there will be no place for doubt that you are not interested in more than just friendship.
Written by Akshay
Life Hacker, Internet Entrepreneur, SEO Strategist and The Founder of LifeHacks.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not reflect the view of LifeHacks.
At some point during your job search, you will be asked to provide a list of referees. You might do this as you fill out a job application, or it might happen later during the interview phase.
Employers rely on these referees—as well as professional background checks—to fact-check what you told them in your resume or during interviews. For this reason, you should be sure to include credible referees who can speak highly of you. And, you should let these people know that you are applying for jobs and listing them as referees.
In this article, you’ll learn how to choose a referee, ask them to be your referee with an example email, and follow up after a job interview.
Choose the right people
Make a list of people who could be potential referees. These can include direct supervisors from jobs or internships, coworkers who understood the value of your accomplishments or people you’ve supervised. If you don’t have much work experience, you can also consider people you know from volunteer activities and teachers or professors.
In general, the more recently you have worked with a potential referee, the better. But you can make exceptions for individuals employed at the company you are applying to, well-respected community members, or a supervisor you worked for at a past job who especially respected your work.
Start your initial list with everyone you can think of, then narrow it down based on your priorities, the nature of the relationship, and the position you’re applying for. Typically, companies ask for no more than three referees, but it’s a good idea to have four or even five in case one becomes unavailable.
Notify your referees in advance
The person giving you a reference may need to write a letter, fill out a questionnaire or speak to someone from human resources on the phone. Providing this favour is not a small task. Give your potential referee plenty of time to consider the request, and be sure to thank them for their time and efforts.
Ask nicely and be aware of how you’re being received
If it’s been a while since you’ve communicated with a potential referee, connect the dots between the past and the present: what you worked on together and where you are in your current career path. Providing them with a copy of your current resume is an easy way to do this. Always give your potential referee an option to decline. If they show any hesitation, gracefully back out of the invitation and move down your list to the next option. It’s better to preserve the relationship in the long run.
Get started with this example email for a reference request
Sometimes a phone call or in-person meeting is a good idea for asking someone to be a personal referee, but you can also start out with an email. Below is an example email template you can easily adapt, depending on the position you’re applying for and the relationship you have with your potential referee:
Dear [ Potential referee’s name ] ,
I am currently seeking employment as a [ job title you’re applying for ] and am hoping you will be able to provide a reference for me. Having worked with you for several years at Company ABC, I believe you can provide potential employers with specific information about my skills that will improve my chances of getting the job.
Attached is my current resume. Please let me know if you need any additional information to act as a referee on my behalf. Thank you for considering my request.
Follow up, both before and after
Once you’ve provided your list of referees to your potential employer, send a quick follow-up email to let each referee know which company will be calling and, if you know the details, what information the company will be requesting. Then, if you are hired for the position, take a moment to celebrate by sending an email to your referees to let them know you’ve accepted a position and that you’re grateful for their help on your behalf.
Here’s an example email for how to update your referees:
Subject line: Reference request – update
Dear [ Referee’s name ] ,
Thank you again for being a referee for me. I wanted to let you know that I’ve completed my interviews for the [ job title you interviewed for ] , and Company XYZ may be contacting you soon. Please let me know if there’s any additional information I can send to you.
And how to thank them:
Subject line: Referee request – thank you!
Dear [ Referee’s name ] ,
I’ve just accepted the [ job you interviewed for ] role at Company XYZ. Thank you for everything you did on my behalf. I sincerely appreciate it.
These contacts will likely be important throughout your career. By expressing your gratitude, you’ll be more likely to benefit from the relationship for years to come.
There is no pain in the world quite like missing your bestie. I’ve endured long-distance romantic relationships before, but there is something about being apart from your best friend that is a whole different level of universal imbalance and wrong. Your best friend is the person who knows you better than anyone, who knows your every secret, how catastrophically messy your room is and how aggressively you cuss out other drivers from behind the wheel of a car вЂ“ they know it all and still choose to stick around. They’re the one you can call in the middle of the night with a crisis (real or imagined), no matter how long it’s been. They’re the one who knows all of your embarrassing hopes and dreams and every mortifying thing you have ever done. They’re your person .
But life happens. It was easy to be in touch all the time when you were in high school or college, but then you graduate and move or get new jobs, and your first few years post-graduate are so unpredictable that it’s hard to make plans even a week in advance without something popping up at the last minute. When you finally do get to see your best friend again, though, the feeling is one I can only compare to the first steps I once took into Harry Potter World: Magical. Perfect. Right. And when that reunion finally happens, all of the following inevitably occur:
Clear the road, other drivers. When you know you’re a two-hour drive away from your bestie, it feels like you’re trying to rip a hole into time and space to get there as fast as possible.
Scream, Hug, Repeat
I am not a вЂњwooвЂќ girl, except when nature requires me to be. An approximate summary of your first conversation upon locking eyes with your bestie is, вЂњHi hi hi HI HI HI!вЂќ
Bask In The Glow Of Each Other’s Faces
“Did you get a HAIRCUT?! IS THAT A NEW DRESS? EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND GREAT.”
Cliff’s Notes Version Of Everything That Has Happened
It spills out of you like hot lava, in the incorrect order, and none of it makes much sense but you just can’t help yourself because you’re too excited. At this point, you’re both making mental Post-It notes to flag things that need to be combed more thoroughly later, and also stammering a lot.
Sharing Of Any And All Sexcapades (Or Lack Thereof)
FINALLY, someone you know without a doubt will not judge anything that comes out of your mouth. Time to get graphic. There is no shame here.
At some point shortly after reuniting, whether it’s been a week or years since you’ve been together, you’ll start remembering all the other times you shared things you were gleeful and/or slightly embarrassed about, which will inevitably lead to a nostalgia so intense that you’ll think of something prolific you once did together, and feel the overwhelming need to physically grab each other by the shoulders to revel in the awesome that you once were and always will be.
Laughing Way Too Hard At Inside Jokes
SORRY, everyone in a 5-mile radius. We can’t help that we’re hilarious.
Actual Version Of Everything That Has Happened
A relative calm has settled over the initial hysteria, and you get into the gritty details of everything that has actually happened. Family gossip, explanation of all social media posts that went over each other’s heads, sharing of all the photos in your smart phone. You might as well just rip your clothes inside out. We’re getting real.
Making Someone Take Your Picture, Right Now
How did you not think of this before? You’re together for the first time in AGES. Accost the first stranger you see, demand a photograph and immediately post to social media. (Or do what I did and take a creepy picture of your bestie from behind and post it without her knowledge.)
Dancing And/Or Terrible Singing Party
Putting on music and making an idiot of yourself is pretty much required of all bestie reunions and dancing together to “Shake it Off” for the first time was more magical than I imagine people’s first dances with their spouses are at weddings.
Eating Terrible Foods
We haven’t seen each other in FOREVER, so obviously calories don’t count. Besides, you danced it all off, kind of.
Reaffirming Dreams And Future Plans
Now that you are so full of carbs you can’t move, you can tackle the serious stuff. If it’s been awhile, it is perfectly plausible that you have completely changed career paths, or started pursuing different dreams, or are going after the same ones with a completely renewed sense of purpose. But none of it was really real until this moment when you shared it with your bestie.
I don’t even need to be dating someone to be Pinterest planning my entire wedding with my bestie and aggressively plotting hers. Not that there’s all that much work to do since we’ve been talking about this forever.
Vow To Never Let This Happen Again
Ain’t no mountain high enough. We can’t live without each other for this long again. It’s a miracle we survived the first separation at all.
Ultimate Sense of Fulfillment
That thing that’s been “missing” from your life snaps back into place and you are finally a completed puzzle again. No matter what life throws at you or how long you’ve been apart, seeing your bestie again is like picking up a favorite book and opening right to the middle without skipping a beat.