Most people make the same mistake every year.
Whether you vowed this would be the year you’d finally get in shape or you had set out to finally get out of debt, your year-end review may leave you sadly disappointed.
And if you’re like most people, you might already be setting your sights on next year. You might think with just a little more motivation, you can finally take control and crush your goals starting on January 1st.
Most resolutions, however, will fail. A study by researchers at Scranton University found that only 19 percent of individuals keep their resolutions. Most are abandoned by mid-January.
You might be tempted to blame a failed resolution on your lack of willpower. After all, you can’t pass up junk food, hit the gym, or save money if you’re running low on willpower, right?
The truth is, most resolution failures don’t stem from a lack of willpower. They fail because people shouldn’t have started them on January 1st.
How People Create Lasting Change
As a mental strength trainer and psychotherapist, I’m well aware that people don’t change their lives until they’re ready.
Anyone who steps into my office because a judge mandated them to treatment or their spouse insisted they get help won’t change their lives unless they come to agree that they have a problem.
But recognizing the problem is only part of the process. It’s not enough to acknowledge you want to change. You have to decide that the pros of changing your life outweigh the cons of staying the same.
For example, does hitting the gym every day so you can get fit offer a big enough benefit that you’re willing to give up time with your family to work out? If you haven’t committed to that decision, you won’t stick with your resolution to get fit.
My work involves recognizing where people are in the process of change so I can help them successfully navigate each stage. The strategies that help in one stage aren’t effective in another.
According to the transtheoretical model of change, there are five basic stages you’ll pass through before creating a change in your life (like giving up smoking or starting a new diet):
- Precontemplation: You deny having a problem, but other people may be concerned.
- Contemplation: You think about the pros and cons of change.
- Preparation: You take steps to get ready to make a change.
- Action: You change your behavior.
- Maintenance: You figure out how to stick to your change over the long-term.
Newer representations of the model include a sixth stage—relapse. This reflects the fact that mistakes are part of the process and the way you address your missteps plays a big role in your ability to stick to change.
Why Change Doesn’t Usually Work on January 1st
When people launch their resolution on January 1st, they are making a change based on a calendar date when they think they are prepared to change their lives. This is the real reason most resolutions fail.
What are the chances that you’re going to be ready for the action stage at exactly the same time the calendar rolls over to a new year? They are probably pretty slim.
Perhaps the small percentage of people who do stick to their resolutions are those lucky few whose action stage of change coincidentally occurs on January 1st.
As for the failed resolutions, there’s a good chance many of those individuals established a New Year’s resolution because they felt pressure to do so, not because they were actually ready.
Individuals with failed resolutions may be contemplative (their change is something they’ve tossed around for a while but aren’t committed to doing the work).
Or they may have been in the middle of the preparation stage (they’ve thought about some of the steps they’ll need to take to equip themselves for the change but haven’t really taken the time to set themselves up for success) when they jumped into action.
Start Your Resolution When You’re Ready
Rather than launch your resolution on January 1st, decide you’ll change your habits when you’re ready to commit. Whether that means you wait a few days or you put off launching your goal for a few months, delaying your goal is better than abandoning it altogether.
Set yourself up for success by getting prepared first. Whether you need to get organized before you change your financial habits or you need to do some more research before you commit to losing weight, establish what steps you’ll need to take to stick to your change.
Once you’ve sufficiently prepared yourself, take action. You’ll feel as though you have more willpower, and your resolutions will be more likely to stick.
Grow Your Business, Not Your Inbox
Did you look forward to the holidays for a short rest to recharge your batteries, reflect upon your business and then start planning for the new year?
Many of my clients share that they enjoy the short break, but then harsh reality of life quickly sets in, and they complain about being tired, overworked and burned out. Can you relate? Most entrepreneurs and executives have high-performance expectations for themselves and can feel disappointed with their lack of progress regarding their health, relationships and their revenues after reflecting upon the past year. That’s when we are now convinced that something’s gotta change, right?
Suddenly, we are empowered and excited by moving into the “New Year.” We come up with all sorts of New Year’s resolution ideas. It’s our chance to start fresh like a new baby. We get in the car and rush to join the gym (again) while setting some great New Year’s resolutions for our body and our business, thinking to ourselves, This is it, this is my new year of success, prosperity and happiness.
A lot of people have great resolution ideas to achieve their goals, like automatic bank transfers for saving money and a new smartwatch to help with weight loss. However, statistics show that only 9.2 percent of people ever achieve their New Year’s resolutions and break free from their bad habits.
I believe that New Year’s resolutions not only don’t work but can make matters worse. Most people live in a safe comfort zone where they have scripted their life with their subconscious mind. The subconscious acts as a recording that repeats the same song over and over again. We might be telling ourselves all day long that we want something different from our past but, in vain, our history plays back by default, and we get the same results.
Do I need to remind you about the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing and expecting different results? Now that I have hopefully touched a sensitive nerve, you are probably asking, “So why do most New Year’s resolutions fail? If they don’t work, then what does work?”
The reasons why most New Year’s resolutions fail
Unfortunately, most of us create too much resistance by injecting too many resolutions and goals into our minds. We write down a long list of stuff like the following.
- Double business revenues.
- Get more online reviews.
- Quit smoking.
- Quit drinking.
- Lose weight.
- Spend more time with friends and family.
- Read more books.
- Eat more healthy food or stop eating junk food.
- Learn to play an instrument.
- Learn a new skill, like social mediamarketing.
- Meet new people.
- Travel more.
This process results in setting too many expectations and creating unrealistic goals. We end up with a long list of trying to do everything at once, relying on our emotions to keep us motivated until we achieve them.
So, what should you do instead of making New Year’s resolutions?
Change just one of your habits that creates the most change.
I discovered that making just one small change in your daily repetitive routine is a crucial step to alleviate the resistance that comes with change.
Remember that real change takes time, effort and patience. According to research from University College London, it takes about 66 days to completely break an old habit, and it can take much longer to master something new. While you are anchoring this unique pattern of action into your life, you are also uploading a new program in your subconscious. To stay motivated, it is important to celebrate even the smallest positive changes.
As you transform, it is very natural to experience different waves of emotion as you become more aware of how you feel. Honestly, self-awareness is the key to unlock all your potential for success.
21 habits of highly successful people
What do highly successful entrepreneurs have in common? They share productive habits that lead to prolific action which translates into positive outcomes and results!
Ultra-successful people like Bill Gates, Daymond John, Oprah, Richard Branson, Marcus Lemonis, Deepak Chopra and even Napoleon Bonaparte all share everyday habits that are proven to produce success:
Here’s just a list of the 21 habits of successful entrepreneurs:
- They keep a journal.
- They talk to themselves in a mirror.
- They meditate.
- They read.
- They embrace their fears.
- They know that failure is part of success.
- They associate with only positive people.
- They set intentions.
- They talk to the universe.
- They are thankful.
- They prioritize their time.
- They don’t sweat the small stuff.
- They focus on what they can control.
- They actively listen.
- They enjoy money as a byproduct of their dream.
- They don’t count on luck.
- They love having fun and celebrate.
- They forgive themselves and others.
- They never give up but will change when needed.
- They don’t make rash or emotional decisions.
- They listen to their intuition.
Hopefully, you noticed that most of these new habits are not activities, like going to the gym. Instead, they relate to creating new patterns for your thoughts. Once you change your thoughts, your habits and actions will automatically change, too.
It typically takes 21 days to shift into a new gear, so don’t give up! In his bestselling book Psycho-Cybernetics, author Dr. Maxwell Maltz says the “human mind takes almost exactly 21 days to adjust to a major life change.” Even though his research was originally on traumatic life events, he claims the principle applies “universally” and works just as well on positive changes.
If you can stick with it for only 21 days, you will have an excellent chance to succeed in achieving your goal because you changed just one habit. Commitment is key! You can do anything for 21 days, right?
Don’t worry if you fail for that day, just keep going to the next day and the next day after that. Remember to celebrate your small victories, so you train your subconscious brain to program you for continued success.
Start by doing something about today and don’t waste your time thinking about why it may not work, or you won’t do it. Your one new daily habit will soon replace your motivation, and it will become a consistent part of your life, like brushing your teeth.
The reason you are an entrepreneur is that you are far from average and taking educated risks gives you an edge. You rise up daily, make life-changing decisions, and you hopefully perform better every day by overcoming challenges and solving other people’s problems. You can do this!
Millions of people in the US make New Year’s resolutions each year, but only a small fraction of them manage to keep them.
If you struggle to keep your New Year’s resolution, one expert says you might not be setting the right kind of goal.
Business Insider spoke with psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert, author of “Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days,” who broke down three of the biggest reasons people fail to complete their resolutions each year.
Here’s what he said:
Your resolution isn’t specific enough
One of the biggest reasons people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions is because they’re not specific enough, Alpert told Business Insider.
For example, resolving to “exercise more” or ” lose weight ” are easy ways to set yourself up for failure, as they lack ways to mark progress and are unlikely to keep you motivated throughout the year.
Instead, try making your goal specific, like running a particular 5K you have circled on the calendar or losing 10 pounds by a certain date.
“It’s easier to drop out or walk away when you set goals or resolutions that are vague,” Alpert told Business Insider. “When it’s really detailed and specific, it’s harder to walk away from it.”
Having a timeline on your resolution is helpful, he said, so think of short-term, medium-term, and long-term benchmarks that will let you know you’re on track to achieving your goal.
“What do I need to do this week, what do I need to do over the next month or so, and what do I hope to accomplish over the next several months?” Alpert said.
You aren’t framing them positively
Another problem people face when making resolutions is framing them with negative language.
When people resolve to stop wasting money or stop eating junk food, for example, it often backfires because it makes them think about the very thing they’re trying to avoid.
“It’s almost like I say to you, ‘I don’t want you to think about what a zebra with pink and blue stripes looks like,” Alpert told Business Insider. “You kind of have to think about what that would look like not to think about it, right?”
Try framing your goal in positive language instead.
“So much of how we talk to ourselves impacts our actions and our behavior,” Alpert said.
“We need to feed ourselves positive self-talk. Instead of telling ourselves ‘Don’t eat junk food,’ we should be telling us the behavior we desire, like ‘Eat carrots and peanut butter as a healthy snack.'”
Your resolution isn’t about you
Another major obstacle people face is the tendency to make New Year’s resolutions that don’t reflect what they actually want.
The biggest culprits are dieting and exercise trends, Alpert said. But it can apply to any number of goals, like a career-related goal inspired by what you think other people expect of you.
“Goals need to be made for the individual,” Alpert said. “So often, people seem to be influenced by their friends, their family, what they see in society.”
“I think it’s important for people to set goals that are for themselves and unique to themselves.”
Every year around this time, some of us approach the turning of the calendar the way Charlie Brown approaches the football in the classic Peanuts cartoon. Even though Lucy has previously fooled him and whisked the ball away at the last moment every time, he is hopeful that this time will be different. Similarly, in spite of the very mixed track record of New Year’s resolutions, we make them again and again, somehow hoping this time will be different.
This year, let us not fool ourselves again. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. New Year’s resolutions are a flawed way to reach an admirable goal—becoming the best version of ourselves.
Research on the efficacy of New Year’s resolutions is imprecise. One survey finds that four out of five people will eventually break their resolutions. Another study reports a higher success rate. Both agree that about a third of resolutions do not make it past the first month.
There are a couple of reasons why resolutions set us up for disappointment. First, we underestimate how long it takes to kick a bad habit or adopt a good one. Popular wisdom says it takes 21 days. However, studies indicate that on average it takes approximately 66 days before a new habit becomes automatic.
Second, people tend to make long lists of big habits they want to change—like losing weight, saving more money, doubling revenue, and quitting smoking or drinking. Each of these goals is a heavy lift requiring considerable effort. We overwhelm ourselves by focusing on substantial changes down the road rather than on small changes in the here and now.
Begin with intention instead
I encourage clients to put less pressure on themselves by developing the habit of making regular daily, weekly, and monthly intentions instead of making a big ordeal about laborious resolutions. In the same way an attitude of gratitude should be a year-round practice rather than consigned to one day, setting intentions to better ourselves will be more sustainable if we spread the effort throughout the year.
The distinction between goals and intentions is more than a semantic one. An intention is more forgiving, without the built-in succeed-or-fail dynamic that seems to come with New Year’s resolutions. The idea of intention honors effort and process, and not just results.
For example, we might adopt a long-term goal of reducing stress by practicing meditation. That is a worthy and not always easily attainable goal. Yet on a daily basis, our intention may be to sit for two minutes and pay attention to our breath. I tell my clients there is no such thing as a bad meditation session. There is no failure. As long as you choose to sit quietly—and, depending on the type of meditation, focus on your intention, breath, or mantra—it is a success.
Start with the here and now
While goals are about the future, intention is rooted in the present. The future is full of unknowns and thus can give rise to anxiety. The present keeps us grounded.
Setting an intention starts with mindfulness. I work with clients on a simple yet powerful three-step method called PBC:
- Pause. Stop what you are doing. Take a brief time-out and check-in with yourself.
- Breathe. Take a conscious breath to become present and grounded. Reset.
- Choose. Make a mindful choice about an intention for that day, week, or month.
- How do I want to feel? (this could be today, this week, or for something specific i.e, a project, event, or trip).
- What do I want? Alternatively, what do I want to achieve?
- How will I know when I have this? What do I need to feel, think, see, or hear?
- What resources do I have available and what do I need to achieve this?
- What steps do I need to take?
Goals with intention (GWI)
Goals motivate us, provide structure, and lend meaning and purpose to our life. However, when paired with intention, GWI (goals with intention) we get the best of both worlds. GWI’s propel us toward our future self while keeping us firmly planted in our present self. This way life does not pass us by while we are planning for the future.
We tend to stick with long-term goals, one study finds , when future rewards are balanced with immediate rewards. Those rewards tend to be more experiential in nature. They are about process rather than results. For example, a long-term goal might be to obtain additional credentials for our area of expertise. An immediate reward would be the pleasure and excitement of learning something new.
Focusing on the process and on small daily intentions helps us avoid getting overwhelmed by ambitious long-term goals. We know our GWI’s are there, but we organize our days around gradual, incremental steps and learn to enjoy the journey without getting too anxious about the destination.
Let heart and mind work together
Thinking about GWI is not just about establishing a balance between future and present, but also between heart and mind as well.
Since goals exist in the future and are on some level an abstraction, they are more a product of the mind. Intentions, rooted in our immediate experience of the present, tend to come from the heart. Why should we limit ourselves to mind-based goals or heart-centered intentions when we can have both? If we develop a regular practice of setting mindful daily intentions, we can encourage our heart and mind to work in concert with one another as we move toward truly fulfilling our highest potential.
Staying on track
Focusing on gradual, incremental steps works—but only if we stay on course. For most of us, doing so alone is unsustainable. We can set ourselves up for success by seeking out the support and accountability that can help us avoid faltering along the way.
Sharing a GWI with a colleague or confidante can be helpful. When you declare your goal to someone, you ensure they will be there to inquire about your progress, and to celebrate your wins along the way. You can further formalize that informal accountability by joining a group whose members can help keep one another on track.
Hiring a coach is another way to inject structure, support, and accountability into your daily routine. Whatever strategy you adopt, set yourself up for success by steering clear of the trappings of the standard New Year’s resolutions. Stay grounded in the present, and in the process, by balancing long-term goals with daily intentions.
We are all drawn by the promise of a fresh start the new year seems to offer. Goals with intention is a more holistic and sustainable way to embrace that opportunity.
Franchise Your Business
How will you grow your business from $100,000 per year to $100,000 per month? How will you scale from 10 employees to 100 employees? How will you propel your business forward? My partners and I at Press Hunt are creating an incentivized roadmap to hit $1m/ARR from $5k/MRR in 12 months, and I’m going to share it bi-monthly in my column in order to illustrate the lessons we’re learning and provide the tactics we’re implementing. And this goal will be our primary driver.
Goals are like rocket fuel for your business. They help you envision a future where your business accomplishes more and help usher that future into reality. As Norman Vincent Peale once said, “All successful people have a goal. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do.”
But if there’s one thing New Year’s resolutions have taught us, it’s that not all goals are created equal. Some succeed. Most fail. And to help you avoid falling short of yours, here are five symptoms that indicate you’re doing it wrong.
1. The math doesn’t make any sense.
You’re an entrepreneur. You depend on quick-fire decisions, intense moments of passion and an unerring faith in yourself and your business. Goal-setting can be an exciting experience that triggers all your optimistic tendencies. That’s good! You should be optimistic. But you should also temper that optimism with a bit of realism.
Javier Sim, the co-founder of Bithumb Global — a company that has repeatedly ranked as one of the top cryptocurrency exchanges globally — offers this advice: “When setting goals for business, entrepreneurs should work the math backward. What is a reasonable target to aim for? What would be exciting to hit? And what is most likely possible? Factor in the timeline and the goal itself and honestly ask yourself, ‘Is this realistic or are we setting ourselves up for defeat?’”
2. You don’t know what actions will drive success.
If you look at your goals, get excited and then wonder how the heck you’re going to achieve it, you may have set yourself up for failure. After all, every goal needs a gameplan, just like every computer needs a hard drive. You’ll never hit any goals if you don’t have a clear and adaptable strategy for reaching them. The more aggressive the goal, the truer it will be.
I believe this is one of the biggest hindrances for entrepreneurs not accomplishing their goals. There’s no roadmap, you have no boss, no course to success, and not knowing what success looks like can lead to a paralysis of action. My biggest piece of advice here is to listen to entrepreneurs that you respect. Go read their content, listen to their interviews. This will help you understand some of the problems they faced and offer tips on how to accomplish the big goals. This is the entire reason I created my video show on Entrepreneur, to help other entrepreneurs see the path successful businesspeople have gone through to achieve success. One of my favorite interviews I did so far was with the late, great Nipsey Hussle. You can check it out here.
3. You don’t have an accountability plan.
Commitment is obvious, and we’ll touch on writing your goals down in the next point, but accountability? How does that work? Well, there’s no reason to set goals in a vacuum. When we set goals for our business, we write it down, we make sure all team members have easy access to it, and we tell everyone we can. I think it’s that unified effort that makes the goal achievable. Tell your friends about your goals, tell your business partner, your teammates, your coworkers, your employees and your family. The more people who know, the higher chance you have of success.
4. You haven’t put your goals in writing.
Something magic happens when you put your goals in writing. Maybe it’s because the goal becomes more permanent, maybe it’s because we perceive ourselves as having committed entirely to the goal, or maybe it is magic. Whatever the case, according to research conducted by Dominican University of California psychology professor Dr. Gail Matthews, people who write down their goals are 33 percent more successful at accomplishing them than those who just envision the goal in their heads.
It’s an easy thing to do and it gives you a better chance of success, so write down your goals and put them where you and your teammates can see them every day. That’ll give everyone accountability and make the commitment a whole lot more tangible.
5. The goal is arbitrary or meaningless.
Do you want to hit 5,000 users? Awesome! But why? Do you want to reach $100,000 per month? Cool! But why? Why did you set that goal? It might seem like a silly question, but it’s perhaps the most vital question to help determine how successful you and your team will be at meeting your goals. Why do you want to accomplish that goal? You must answer that question for yourself, and you must answer it for each team member. Or rather, they must answer it for themselves. If they don’t, then when the going gets tough (and it always gets tough), people are going to slack.
People aren’t inherently lazy. Some simply have weak goals, or rather, their goals do not inspire them. Uninspiring goals are perhaps the number-one killer of an entrepreneur’s vision for the future. A goal can be big and awesome and neat, but still uninspiring. You must answer why you want to accomplish a goal before you can truly commit to accomplishing it, and then you must ensure that the “why” behind your goal inspires you first and foremost, and then everyone at your company.
Today in news we have to face: 2018 is fast-approaching. While we’re happy to see 2017 go (good riddance!) we’re also a bit apprehensive to start 2018 — who knows what the year will bring? This uncertainty is why it’s important to set some intentions for positive change in your life come 2018. It’s time to hit the refresh button.
However, it’s also important to not get carried away with overhauling your life come the New Year. The “New Year, New Me” mentality runs the risk of tricking you into forgetting how cool and badass you already are. So here are 5 reasons why it’s better to set *goals* for 2018 rather than
1By definition, resolutions are more do-or-die (and therefore intimidating).
This is the common definition of the word resolution: res·o·lu·tion, (noun) 1. a firm decision to do or not to do something; 2. the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter. Meanwhile, this is the definition of the word goal: goal, (noun) 1. the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result; the destination of a journey.
Just by definition alone, a goal sounds more attainable. Instead of setting a “firm” resolution that requires solving, set a goal, which is a part of a “journey” and enjoy the road to reaching a better place in your life.
2 If you don’t meet your resolution by the end of the year, you’ll be angrier with yourself than if you made progress in working toward a goal.
While resolutions seem set in stone, goals are more malleable. Achieving a goal is an entirely different process than meeting a resolution.
For example, I once set a resolution to eat healthier during my sophomore year of college after the whole freshman 15 debacle happened to me. I became a woman obsessed — if I cheated and let myself have ice cream at the dining hall one night, I felt like I’d failed completely and lost my resolve.
Meanwhile, later that year, I decided to instead aim to eat healthy. If I slipped up and had mac and cheese from Panera one night, it didn’t ruin my intention. I could still work towards my goal of eating better tomorrow because I hadn’t broken an ultimate and overarching rule.
about the journey
, not the destination!!
Yes, this is a cliché. But clichés are well-known and over-used for a reason. If you set a resolution, every day will be a battle to uphold that resolution. But if you set a goal, every day will be a journey toward that goal, with ups and downs, good days and bad days.
Come the end of 2018, you’ll be able to look back on your year and think about the progress you made toward your goal and be proud of the work you’ve put in, instead of evaluating whether you did or did not uphold your resolution.
Ultimately, what I’m saying here is that resolutions are like a pass/fail grade, while goals are on an A-F grading scale. Know what I mean?
4If you don’t reach a goal, you can work toward it in 2019, too. Don’t set yourself up to fail when you don’t have to!
Setting yourself up for success in 2018 is one of the most crucial aspects of goal-setting. Obviously, bettering yourself involves challenging yourself, but you also don’t want to force yourself to do anything you simply cannot achieve.
When setting goals, it’s important to consider how you’ll achieve it. What steps you can realistically take to get there? And why are you setting this goal in the first place? If you’re not doing it for you, what are you doing it for?
While a resolution to do something specific in the New Year feels like it must be completed by December 31st, 2018, a goal can be a symbolic finish line that you’re working toward, whether the finish line is December 31st, or a metaphorical point you aim to reach for the rest of your life.
5Judging the success of your self-improvement doesn’t have to begin and end with a calendar year.
Let’s be real: Humans are fallible creatures. Life is hard and sometimes it gets the best of us. Sometimes, the outcomes in our own lives are out of our own control.
But if we believe all of these things to be true, why are we so hard on ourselves when we don’t meet a resolution by the arbitrary deadline of December 31st? It’s better to set a goal, so you can evaluate your progress come the end of the year, rather than write off a failed resolution and give up on it. Life is hard enough without the added pressure from yourself.
While we should all absolutely aspire to our goals and light fires under our asses to achieve them, at the end of the day, and the end of the year, it’s important to show yourself some love for everything you’ve already made happen in your life. It’ll be easier to run the race if you’re also your own cheerleader shouting words of encouragement dutifully from the sidelines.
1 day ago · 5 min read
I am pretty sure some of you are fed up with all the things that you are doing in your life. There a r e lights everywhere and you must be in a mood of leaving all the things and party all night. You think it is great to leave things as/is for a while and enjoy a bit. Every New Year, you make resolutions that seem to fail on the first week itself. ‘It is no use’ you tell yourself. but is it true or are you trying to play the blame game again this new year? Do you want to get your life back on track? Read below-
Mark Manson said, “if self-discipline feels difficult, then you are doing it wrong!”
Self-discipline is not a truckload on your back, it is something that paves the way to your success. It doesn’t necessarily mean waking up at 5 and going to the gym daily. As long as you are feeling productive, and your graph of health, wealth, and relationships is going smooth, then you are headed in the right direction.
When you come across something new elated to your field of interest, you might leave it and say “eh, I have no time, I will do it later” or “I have way too many things to do, I better focus on them”. repressing your desire of doing or trying something beneficial for yourself is no less than a crime. You should try that course, visit that museum, read that book! Life can never go up when you are hibernating inside your comfortable shell. The challenges won’t come to you there and say, “Hey we found ya!”. You have to come outside, hit the road, and choose the road that you want to travel.
Do yourself these favors and see a change!
Hey you! the time is over when you used to make pacts to yourself and then leave them for later.
The world has way too many things to be made perfect, start with yourself.
Here is how you can do yourself a favor.
Always have a diary and a pen in your pocket
This habit is the smallest and can have a big impact in your life. phones and other devices can be really helpful but you shouldn’t totally depend on them. therefore, keep a journal/diary with yourself and write whatever comes to your mind when you are out. Write important tasks, any new word that you never heard of, or any thought/dream that came to your mind.
If you are fond of dreaming and remember them when you wake up, you can also jot them down. writing what you saw in your dreams will definitely benefit you.
One by one
If you have a truckload of things to do, don’t take the burden all at once. You are growing up, therefore, learn to organize your work. Then sit down, listen to music, and accomplish your task. You will be done in no time. Avoid overthinking and try to be practical about your tasks and studies.
Record your audio
If you are running short of time and you are unable to journal your thoughts daily, do one thing, record what you wanted to write. It is pretty easy and you will know exactly how you felt that day. Recording your voice will also help you in building your confidence and slowly you will overcome any speech difficulties that you might have.
No matter if you are an introvert or extrovert, being around people for a long time destroys your peace. Therefore you should try to maintain a balance between being around people and giving time to yourself. go to library, café, or trips alone sometimes. You will see an unexplored side of yours that is shy enough to come out in front of people.
Be grateful; have patience; find happiness
The utmost thing that lacks in the youth is patience and gratefulness. In the rush of life, you sometimes forget to show gratefulness. Having patience works best when you face failure. Therefore, if you master patience, then you can master yourself and your demons. That is how you find happiness in life.
Always remember, happiness is transient, and finding it in the eureka moments is no good because they are very few. Look for happiness in smaller things, and you will get the best out of life.
Work extra for your dreams
Whatever you want to pursue, dedicate yourself to it and you will see everything incline in front of you. Don’t mind if you wake up extra two hours to complete it, don’t feel bad if you couldn’t attend the function in order to work for your dream. In the path of achieving what you want, you will lose a lot. Don’t be afraid, that’s the process.
You should be able to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to the things that come to you. you should be able to make choices rationally and when it comes to reaching the zenith, everything else will pay off. You will ultimately get that sigh of relief and the truckload of zeal that you require to go further.
Happy New Year! I wish that each one of you gets what you worked for. Remember, the sacrifices you make today are paving the way for your success. And, don’t be short-sighted, broaden your horizons!
You’re probably familiar with New Year’s resolution statistics. If not, here’s a summary: Most people don’t keep them. Approximately 80 percent of people who make New Year’s resolutions have dropped them by the second week of February.
But what may surprise you is that the problem doesn’t lie with the goals we set. Whether it’s a small, (seemingly) easily achievable goal or a huge, life-changing goal, people tend to fail at the same rate.
While it is obviously harder to achieve a BHAG goal than a micro-goal, the difficulty of the goal you set isn’t nearly as important as whether or not you create the right process to achieve that goal — and whether you follow the process you create.
Otherwise, you’re just wishing and hoping. You have great intentions, but without a real plan to follow. your chances for success are almost nonexistent.
Which is why the very first thing you should do after you make a New Year’s resolution — or after you set any big goal — is to create a process that will allow you to actually achieve your goal.
In short, don’t make your goal your New Year’s resolution. Make your plan your New Year’s resolution. Do that, and you’ll succeed whether so many others fail.
So how do you create the right plan?
1. Make your goal extremely specific.
Say, like many people, you want to get in better shape this year. “Get in better shape” is a great goal. but what does that actually mean in practice? that actually mean? Without more detail. nothing.
A better approach might be to “lose 10 pounds in 30 days.” That’s a specific and measurable goal. Not only do you know what you want to accomplish, but now you can create a process guaranteed to get you there. Set your workout schedule, lay out your diet plan. then just follow your plan.
Another example: “Grow my business.” Sounds great, but also meaningless. “Land five new clients a month,” on the other hand, allows you to determine the steps you should take to meet that goal.
The key is to set a goal so specific that you can work backward and create a process designed to achieve it.
It’s impossible to know exactly what to do when you don’t know exactly what you want to achieve.
2. Make your goal personally meaningful.
You’re unlikely to follow through if you want to get in better shape so other people will think you look better at the beach next summer. Ultimately, who cares what other people think? And besides, you can just stay covered up or avoid the beach altogether.
But if you want to get in better shape because you want to feel better (and feel better about yourself), or because you want to set an example for your kids, or because you want to prove something to yourself, you’re much more likely to stick with your goal. Now your goal has meaning — not to strangers on the beach, but to you.
That’s true even if you set a silly goal, like when I did 100,000 push-ups in one year. You could say it was a meaningless goal, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could stick with something hard. That goal meant something to me, because it made a difference in how I see myself — and that made it a lot easier to stay the course.
3. Make your goal positive.
“Stop smoking” is a fine goal, but it’s also a negative goal. (It’s a lot harder to stop doing something than it is to embrace a new, positive change.)
Plus, setting a goal like “stop eating sweets” means you constantly have to choose to avoid temptation, and since willpower is often a finite resource (although there are ways to develop greater determination and willpower), why put yourself in a position where you constantly need to make the right decision?
Always pick positive goals. That way you’ll be working to become something new (and awesome), rather than to avoid being something you no longer wish to be.
4. Set your goal. Then forget your goal.
Conventional wisdom says you need to maintain a laser-like focus on your goals. Yet one of the biggest reasons people give up on huge goals is the distance between here, where they are today, and there, where they someday hope to be.
If today you’re able to run only a mile, and your goal is to run a marathon. the distance between here and there seems insurmountable.
So you give up. It seems impossible to get from here to there.
That’s why almost all extremely successful people set a goal, and then focus all their attention on the process necessary to achieve that goal.
Sure, the goal is still out there. But what they care about most is what they need to do today — and when they accomplish that, they feel happy about today. They feel good about today. They feel good about themselves, because they’ve accomplished what they set out to do today.
That sense of accomplishment gives them all the motivation they need to do what they need to do when tomorrow comes — because as I explain in myh book, The Motivation Myth, success, even tiny, incremental success, provides the best motivation of all.
Why? When you savor the small victories, you get to feel good about yourself every day, which means you no longer compare the distance between here and there. You don’t have to wait for “someday” to feel good about yourself.
If you do what you planned to do today, you’re a winner. And you get to be a winner tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.
Which is why the most important step is to.
5. Focus on the process.
The key is to create a process that guarantees a series of small improvements. Usually that means that what you do won’t be that different from what other successful people do. (That’s why one of the chapters in my book is called “Do What the Pros Do”; I show you how to choose the right person to emulate, and even how to connect with that person.)
Pick someone who has achieved something you want to achieve. Deconstruct his or her process. Then follow it.
Along the way you might make small corrections as you learn what works best for you, but never start by doing what you want to do, or what feels good, or what you think might work.
Do what is proven to work.
Otherwise you’ll give up, because the process you create won’t yield those small successes that keep you motivated and feeling good about yourself.
Which, if you think about it, is the perfect definition of success.
And the best way to actually achieve your New Year’s resolution.
And how to keep it from happening this year.
Nearly half of us are making New Year’s resolutions, but less than 10 percent of us are actually keeping them. Whether it’s lack of motivation, lack of resources, or we just lose interest, it’s time to make a fresh start and figure out ways to finish what we’ve started. Here are 10 reasons people don’t stick to their New Year’s resolutions and how to keep it from happening this year.
Reason 1: Going it Alone
Whether it’s quitting smoking, improving your tennis game, or going to the gym more often, don’t go it alone. “If you are someone who has a higher success rate when you have outside support, then get a buddy,” says success coach Amy Applebaum. “This creates accountability, which is essential for success.”
“Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be more, do more, and have more,” advises The Mojo Coach Debi Silber. “If you play tennis and want to improve your game, play with people better than you who inspire you to be better.” Remember, your buddy should be a positive force in your life, not a negative one. Silber recommends avoiding so-called “energy vampires,” or people who drain you mentally and emotionally, even if they’re willing partners.
Reason 2: Extremely Lofty Resolutions
If your goal is to solve world peace, maybe a more attainable goal is to vow you’ll finally read War and Peace. “Most of us create resolutions that are too ‘big’ and therefore we can’t meet them,” Applebaum says. “Examine your resolutions. Are they what you really want or did you commit to them because you thought you were supposed to?”
Take it day by day, says life coach Hunter Phoenix. “I’ve made a pact with myself to stop obsessing about the past, fantasizing about the future, and to instead embrace the present and what I can do to make a difference here and now.”
Reason 3: Giving up too Easily
Whether you get discouraged or simply lose interest, giving up too easily is a big resolution breaker. “Many people make their resolutions with a genuine belief that they can accomplish them, bu come February the excitement wears off and other priorities begin to take precedence,” says Andrew Schrage, founder of MoneyCrashers. “To cure this issue, try to set benchmarks throughout the year. By doing so, you can keep yourself on track throughout the year and use the power of positive reinforcement to keep your momentum going.”
Reason 4: Time Management
Sometimes you realize your resolution is a bigger time commitment than you’d originally intended. Instead of trying to accomplish it all in one day, break it up into manageable increments. “I resolve to devote five minutes a day to being clutter-free and organized,” says professional organizer Melinda Massie. “The easiest way to get and stay organized and clutter-free is to make it a daily habit, and everyone can spare five minutes a day.”
Reason 5: Financial Burden
Many give up on their resolutions if the associated expenses are too high, Schrage says. “For example, losing weight can sometimes require an expensive gym membership. Be creative and try to find less expensive ways to complete your goals. If you’re trying to lose weight, you can exercise and work out without a gym.”
Reason 6: Unrealistic Resolutions
You may fantasize about your svelte new size-6 body or that six-figure job, but can you really make it happen before the year is out? “If you think you will lose 100 pounds in three months, this is not going to happen,” says nutrition and fitness expert Erin Palinski. “You need to set a goal that is actually achievable in the time frame you set for yourself.”
This also means being realistic with yourself and taking a hard, long look in the mirror. “Resolutions require changes in behavior, and most of us don’t want to face that there is often a laundry list of changes to make,” says Alabama-based clinical psychologist Josh Klapow. “So pick one you have confidence in and stick with it. It is far better to succeed at a smaller, more manageable resolution than to fail at a larger, loftier one.”
Reason 7: No Plan
“The best resolutions are those that actually include a plan of action,” says hypnotist Michael Ellner. Applebaum says people set themselves up for failure because they commit to a resolution, fully knowing they have no plan in place to actually achieve it.
“You need to create a plan that will help you achieve your goals,” say Karena and Katrina, founders of ToneItUp.com. “Break your end goal down into smaller, weekly goals so you feel like you’re working towards something immediate, and make a calendar with something to do every day that will get you closer to your desired result,” they say.
Reason 8: Lack of Honesty
Are you truly committed to running a marathon, losing weight, or whatever else you are committing to do? Be honest with yourself. “Oftentimes we find ourselves committing to things because we think we should,” Applebaum says. “Don’t waste your time with that. You will only be disappointed in yourself. Make resolutions you actually want to achieve because you really want to and are actually going to put a plan of action towards,” she says.
Reason 9: Wrong Perspective
While you may have the best intentions with your resolution, you could be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Put it in perspective. “Rather than associating the New Year with resolutions or changes you need to make, consider it a time for reflection on things you wish to work on throughout the year,” Applebaum says. “Quit dwelling on what you have not accomplished and focus on what you will accomplish instead.”
Reason 10: Not Believing in Yourself
According to Beverly Hills psychotherapist Barbara Neitlich, sometimes all you need to keep going is a pat on the back-from yourself. “Congratulate yourself for your progress. The problem is that many individuals have a very black and white attitude. They see it as either you have achieved your goal or you have failed, but there is a grey area,” she says.
If your goal was to send out ten resumes a week for a new job and you only sent out five, don’t beat yourself up for it. “Rather, congratulate and reward yourself for making the effort toward your goal. That will give you the energy and stamina you need to continue achieving your initial goal,” Neitlich says. And kill yourself with kindness, says Silber. “With friends, we often offer kindness, praise, warmth, and positive feelings, but most people don’t speak to themselves that way. Commit to offering that same kindness and compassion to yourself.”