Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is one of the strongest indicators of success in business. Why? EQ is not only the ability to identify and manage your own emotions, but it’s also the ability to recognize the emotions of others. This study by Johnson & Johnson showed that the highest performers in the workforce were also those that displayed a higher emotional intelligence. And according to Talent Smart , 90% of high performers in the work place possess high EQ, while 80% of low performers have low EQ. Simply put, your emotional intelligence matters.
Many of my clients often come to me frustrated with their managers, ready to quit because of the poor relationship they have with their boss. When I listen to what’s going on, it’s usually that these leaders aren’t demonstrating high levels of emotional intelligence. Don’t let that be you!
Here are five ways to develop your emotional intelligence.
1. Manage your negative emotions. When you’re able to manage and reduce your negative emotions, you’re less likely to get overwhelmed. Easier said than done, right? Try this: If someone is upsetting you, don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, allow yourself to look at the situation in a variety of ways. Try to look at things objectively so you don’t get riled up as easily. Practice mindfulness at work, and notice how your perspective changes.
2. Be mindful of your vocabulary. Focus on becoming a stronger communicator in the workplace.Emotionally intelligent people tend to use more specific words that can help communicate deficiencies, and then theyimmediately work to address them. Had a bad meeting with your boss? What made it so bad, and what can you do to fix it next time? When you can pinpoint what’s going on, you have a higher likelihood of addressing the problem, instead of just stewing on it.
3. Practice empathy. Centering on verbal and non-verbal cues can give you invaluable insight into the feelings of your colleagues or clients. Practice focusing on others and walking in their shoes, even if just for a moment. Empathetic statements do not excuse unacceptable behavior, but they help remind you that everyone has their own issues.
4. Know your stressors. Take stock of what stresses you out, and be proactive to have less of it in your life. If you know that checking your work email before bed will send you into a tailspin, leave it for the morning. Better yet, leave it for when you arrive to the office.
5. Bounce back from adversity. Everyone encounters challenges. It’s how you react to these challenges that either sets you up for success or puts you on the track to full on meltdown mode. You already know that positive thinking will take you far. To help you bounce back from adversity, practice optimism instead of complaining. What can you learn from this situation? Ask constructive questions to see what you can take away from the challenge at hand.
Emotional intelligence can evolve over time, as long as you have the desire to increase it. Every person, challenge, or situation faced is a prime learning opportunity to test your EQ. It takes practice, but you can start reaping the benefits immediately.
Having a high level of emotional intelligence will serve you well in your relationships in the workplace and in all areas of your life. Who wouldn’t want that?
In the world of leadership, soft skills are truly integral to the success of those wanting to move up in an organization. So often, when I teach leadership classes or do one-on-one executive coaching with my clients, I see that they are very technically competent (e.g., engineers, IT professionals, scientists or attorneys) but do not always have the people skills that are truly necessary to lead. They are often very adept in the technical skills and have been rewarded through promotions, but they are not often trained in the competencies that could make them truly successful.
The people skills are those that relate to emotional intelligence. Data shows that intelligence (IQ) often gets you in the door for a job, but emotional intelligence (EQ) is what helps leaders to move up more quickly. When an employee moves into management and leadership, their responsibility becomes less about doing the work and more about managing the people. And emotional intelligence can be learned; like a fine wine, emotional intelligence can come with age and maturity.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is often defined as “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.”
EQ, then, is the way that we become aware of our own emotions, understand how to manage those emotions, become aware of other people’s emotions and interact with others. All of these skills are at the heart of how we understand ourselves and build healthy relationships with others. And as we lead, the skills of emotional intelligence become more and more important in order to influence others, manage conflict, have empathy and build strong relationships.
What are the components of emotional intelligence?
As a coach and practitioner, I often use the EQ-i 2.0 model of emotional intelligence. It breaks EQ down into five components:
- Self-Perception : understanding and awareness of your own emotions
- Self-Expression : expressing your emotions
- Interpersonal : developing and maintaining relationships
- Decision Making: using emotions to make better decisions
- Stress Management : coping with stress and other challenges
These five components make up the whole, and within each component, there are three further sub-components. You can take as many self-surveys to determine where they fall in each category, or you can also take a 360 assessment to determine where they stand compared to others’ perceptions of them. Every time I have conducted an EQ 360, it has been quite eye-opening for the individual receiving the results. Blind spots in the 360 can sometimes derail the advancement of an individual rather than moving toward continued leadership results.
How do you focus on growing EQ?
- Develop an understanding of your own emotions. Begin to notice how you are feeling at any given moment. How often are you in a good mood at work? Moods are contagious. Leaders often set the “weather” in organizations. What forecast are you bringing to your office every day?
- Learn how to manage your emotions. Notice when you are in a negative or positive mood. Pause before acting or reacting. Imagine a performance conversation with your employee if you were in a negative state of mind versus a positive state of mind. What would be different? Work to shift your emotional state by taking a walk, venting to a co-worker or friend, listening to music, taking some deep breaths or anything else that you find helps you.
- Develop empathy. Empathy is the state of understanding what other people are feeling. When interacting with others, begin to listen and understand where the other person is coming from. Then you can truly empathize in order to have the best interaction with them.
Emotional intelligence is a key skill for leaders. If you need to build up this skill, it can be practiced and developed so you can become the best leader you can be.
Effective leaders boost team morale, create strong relationships in the workplace and help others embrace challenges confidently. All of these key skills require emotional intelligence. When you practice emotional intelligence in leadership, you will be able to stay calm in stressful situations, communicate strategically in times of conflict and show empathy to employees. In this article, we will discuss what emotional intelligence in leadership is and how to develop your emotional intelligence leadership skills.
What is emotional intelligence in leadership?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and your interactions with other people. Emotionally intelligent leaders practice self-awareness, regulate their emotions and clearly express how they’re feeling to others. Whether you’re aspiring to be a leader or you’re trying to improve your current leadership skills, this guide will help you develop emotional intelligence so that you can improve your relationships in the workplace.
How to develop your emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is an achievable skill that will help you create strong workplace relationships. Practice these five attributes to develop emotional intelligence and effective leadership:
- Relationship management
- Effective communication
1 . Self-awareness
Practice self-awareness by reflecting on your emotions and instinctual reactions. You can mentally note what you’re feeling and learn techniques to change your mood. Emotionally intelligent individuals take a deep breath and try to resolve the causes of stress instead of letting them overrun their decisions. Leaders who are aware of their own emotions help influence the attitudes of the workplace and are invaluable to a business.
For example, your coworker gives you constructive feedback on a project you worked hard to complete. To develop self-awareness in this situation, mentally note how you felt and why you felt this way. Write your feelings in a journal, or think over it in a moment of reflection. Notice if you only focused on the negative critiques instead of the positive feedback. Now, you can objectively look at the critiques and realize your coworker was only trying to help you improve the project.
2 . Self-management
You can regulate your emotions, and stay calm during stressful situations in the workplace by practicing self-management. To manage your emotions, you must first be aware of them. People with strong self-management tend to stay positive and calm in stressful situations. They see an obstacle as an opportunity for improvement and an enjoyable challenge for their problem-solving skills.
Much like self-awareness, you can use techniques like reflection, journaling and choosing to remain objective in stressful situations to help you to develop self-management.
For example, a coworker is struggling with a task. They know you’re a helpful person who tries to assist other colleagues when they’re busy or stuck on a project, so they ask you to take on their assignment in spite of your already heavy workload. Consider how you would react in this situation. An emotionally intelligent employee would take a moment before reacting to think about how to remain positive, calm and constructive. Then, they might suggest that their coworker and their supervisor make a plan for the project together.
3 . Empathy
Learn empathy so you can promote trust and create open communication among your peers. Being empathetic means understanding another person’s state of mind and feelings. Aim to imagine someone else’s experience, and then communicate your understanding and support for their situation.
Becoming an empathetic person in the workplace can facilitate a better rapport among you and your coworkers. This leads to smoother resolutions when conflicts arise.
For example, you are the supervisor, and one of your employees asks to meet with you to tell you they’re unhappy that another colleague got a promotion you wanted. Carefully consider how you could show empathy as a leader in this situation. Good leaders are confident in their own decisions. However, here are some techniques you can use to show your employees you’re listening to their concerns and empathizing with their feelings:
- Show that you’re actively listening to your employees by repeating what they’re saying.
- Focus on the welfare and interests of the employee.
- Understand shared human values like career success.
- Try to see the situation objectively.
- Connect with the employee.
- Share a brief story about a time you were disappointed with a work decision to show that you understand how they’re feeling.
4 . Relationship management
Nurture your workplace relationships to create positive outcomes. If you want to learn how to foster healthy and productive relationships in the workplace, focus on the three characteristics mentioned above. Be aware of your emotions and reactions, show empathy through listening and learn to communicate effectively. This will allow you to lead people in the workplace.
Focus on relationships between your team, you and your supervisors. By caring for and supporting others in your workplace, you’ll create a positive environment and demonstrate your emotional intelligence leadership.
For example, you’re the leader of a small team at work. Your supervisor gives you the chance to take on a big project that you both know will help build your career. You encourage your team to think creatively, and when it’s time to present the project, you make sure you publicly praise the hard work your team put toward the project to make it a success. In this situation you helped encourage and develop your team, you showed them that you care about their careers just as much as yours, and you showed your supervisors your leadership skills.
5 . Effective communication
Effective communication promotes greater understanding between employees in the workplace and leads to increased productivity. Cultivate your verbal and nonverbal communication skills to become an emotionally intelligent, effective leader. Every communication is an opportunity to manage your emotions, practice empathy and improve your relationships.
Actively listening to a colleague is an invaluable skill and a key trait of effective communication. It shows maturity and selflessness. Try asking questions about your colleague’s concerns to show you’re listening.
Non-verbal forms of communication are another key trait of effective communication, including body language. Try being aware of your body language and noticing others’ body language. If you are enthusiastic, most likely people will notice just by watching your body language.
You have many opportunities to display your verbal and non-verbal communication skills at work, including explaining a new task or making a presentation. Try to use clear and concise speech, smile and make eye contact, and use open body positions to project confidence.
Classifiable among the most requested soft skills, emotional intelligence is considered a very important factor in the workplace. For this reason, especially in recent years, companies have begun to pay close attention to this feature and recruiters consider it among the decisive elements in the interview and to draw conclusions at the end of a selection process.
What will you find in this article?
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, manage and value one’s own and others’ emotions.
The cognitivist psychologist Daniel Goleman treated the subject in a 1995 essay, identifying two main skills at the base of emotional intelligence …
- Personal competence: It is the emotional intelligence applied to oneself. It concerns the ability to recognize one’s emotions, self-evaluate one’s resources and use them to manage one’s feelings, face them or exploit them to achieve one’s goals.
- Social competence: Concerns the methods of managing relationships with others, in particular the ability to recognize the emotions of others (empathy), communicate, offer a valid support for the management of feelings and give a positive influence.
Benefits at work
Emotional intelligence is rightly among the most important and required soft skills, as it constitutes a fundamental transversal competence for integrating the framework of technical skills and traditional IQ.
Companies and recruiters consider it a huge added value, because on a professional level it allows not only to develop self-awareness and self-control, but also facilitates relations between employees, thus favoring a peaceful working environment and allowing for more effective strategic business planning.
Emotional intelligence is also an essential element for expressing and developing leadership skills, combining technical skills with the ability to manage and value emotions, one’s own and others.
How to develop emotional intelligence
Surely emotional intelligence is a part of inborn talent, but it is possible to exercise it and improve one’s abilities. Here are some tips to follow …
Take some time for reflection and self-analysis
The starting point for understanding and understanding others is definitely self-analysis. Cultivating self- awareness generates awareness of one’s potential and shortcomings, which in turn is the first step towards improvement. It is therefore of vital importance to be able to dedicate some time to reflection daily.
Pay attention to emotions
In the context of self-analysis, it is necessary to practice identifying the emotions that come into play in the different situations of life, both professional and private.
Identifying the nature of the sensations that prevent us from doing something will allow us to face the situation with more awareness and detachment. Conversely, recognizing the emotions that positively influence work will help to find new stimuli more easily.
It is also very important to learn not to focus exclusively on oneself, but also to pay attention to the ways of acting and the reactions of others, trying to recognize the emotions behind each person’s behavior.
Dose the technology
In order to develop self-reflection and foster personal relationships it is, of course, necessary to reduce the reckless use of technological devices and social networks.
The assumption of always being virtually connected with the world sometimes precludes the enhancement of real relationships and distracts from a dialogue with oneself, therefore from an awareness of one’s own personal and work performances. We therefore need to rethink our relationship with technology and balance the time we dedicate to it with other activities that allow us to develop emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence, the most in-demand ‘soft skill’ in the workplace
Joy, nerves, surprise, anger, calm, disappointment. managing the roller-coaster of emotions that we experience on a daily basis is not easy. However, emotional intelligence is becoming increasingly important as a way to achieve happiness in all aspects of our lives, including the workplace. Do you want to learn to be happy?
Emotions let us know how we’re doing at processing experiences and this is useful for personal and professional life.
Emotions influence our daily lives. The book Emotional Intelligence published in 1995 by the American psychologist Daniel Goleman launched this discipline worldwide. Even the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) launched an initiative in 2002 in which it sent a statement including ten basic principles to the education ministers of 140 countries to launch social and emotional learning programs.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND WHAT IS IT FOR?
According to Goleman, emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise our own feelings and those of others, to guide us and to better manage our relationships. What is it for? It’s mainly useful for understanding more of our own emotional information and that of others because emotion is the physical expression of our mind and it never lies. Emotions inform us how our mind is processing what we experience and this is very useful both in our personal and professional lives because it allows us, for example, to be aware of what we say and the way we say it.
Can the proper management of emotions lead to happiness? Emotional intelligence helps us to overcome those negative attitudes, beliefs and habits that condition us and limit us, and thus prevent us from realising our full potential. Timothy Gallwey, author of numerous books on developing personal and professional excellence, stated that in this regard, the way we perform in life can be summed up by a simple equation: p (performance) = P (potential) – I (interference). In other words, the less negative emotional interference we have, the more potential we will achieve.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN THE COMPANY
Emotional intelligence in the workplace is one of the most sought-after skills by companies in today’s business world, especially as most repetitive and routine tasks are now automated. In fact, according to a recent CapGemini study called Emotional Intelligence: The Essential Skillset For The Age Of AI, 76% of managers believe that employees should develop these skills, since they will have to adapt to roles that deal more with people and clients.
According to the report, the same percentage believe that employees will have to take on more tasks requiring emotional skills that cannot be automated, such as empathy, persuasion and teamwork. Generally speaking, 83% of companies say that having staff with good skills in emotional intelligence will be essential to achieving success in the coming years.
According to Goleman, high IQ is only capable of predicting 20% of the factors for success, while the remaining 80% depend on other variables such as social class, luck and, to a large extent, emotional intelligence. Something similar happens in companies, according to the study: 60% of organisations with an emotionally intelligent workforce achieve 20% better results than others in various business indicators such as productivity, employee satisfaction, market share and customer service.
Eight lessons on emotional intelligence.
HOW TO DEVELOP EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Can you learn to be emotionally intelligent? The answer is yes, although it is neither simple nor achieved overnight. These are five key elements for emotional intelligence to work.
Possessing a deep understanding of our emotions and also our impulses, helping us to react to them in a positive way.
Controlling the emotions that generate negativity – anxiety, sadness, anger, etc.-. It’s not about repressing those feelings because they have their usefulness, but it’s about finding the balance so as not to become their prisoner.
Emotionally intelligent people are characterised by having the willpower and inner strength required to achieve their goals. Optimism is an essential requirement for achieving goals.
The ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes is key, understanding their feelings and motivations without assuming they are the same as yours.
This involves relating to the people around us seeking not only to benefit ourselves, but also to benefit others.
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6 Ways to Develop Emotional Intelligence at Work
- February 18, 2019
- by Lidiya Kesarovska
Being emotionally intelligent is an important skill that involves empathy, self-awareness, adaptability, positivity and the desire to succeed and help others do the same. But building emotional intelligence at work is equally important.
EQ is about understanding and managing your own feelings and emotions. This results in resolving conflicts, taking good business decisions, better leadership, reacting to criticism positively, and more.
Emotional intelligence in the workplace is a set of skills and qualities that one can adapt to be a better worker and employer. This will turn the whole work environment into a safe space, a place to learn from each other, a second home where everyone is showing empathy and no one is judging.
All that can be achieved if each individual in the workplace does something to develop emotional intelligence.
Here are some practical ways to improve your EQ.
How to Increase Emotional Intelligence at Work
1. Notice your emotions and consider their impact.
Self-awareness begins with knowing one’s emotions, being able to make a difference between the positive and negative ones, analyzing the underlying cause and their impact.
Practicing this daily will help you understand that emotions are fleeting and they shouldn’t affect your behavior in the workplace.
This exercise for increasing emotional intelligence at work also allows you to start acknowledging other people’s emotions. Which can turn you into a better employee and colleague.
2. Control impulsive actions.
Impulsive actions are based on impulsive emotions and they lead to arguments, drama in the office, and tension in a team. That affects work productivity, projects and the relationships between employees.
You don’t want to let your emotions take control over your behavior as you’d be perceived as weak. Others might avoid you or working together on a project, which can prevent you from getting the promotion you’ve been working hard for.
Instead, stay away from conflicts and always take your time before responding to criticism or any other provocation. Listen more than you talk and try to figure out why others do what they do.
Understanding the emotions behind their actions will help you choose peace and compassion any time you’re confronted.
3. Express yourself openly.
Part of having high EQ is learning how to be comfortable with expressing yourself and doing it often. That means sharing your opinion but also hearing what others have to say, encouraging them to be more open, speaking up when something isn’t right and dealing with unresolved issues.
4. Improve your and others’ motivation.
There’s no place for jealousy in a team. Instead, emotional intelligence at work can set everyone up for success.
But that begins with your intrinsic motivation.
Define the things you love about your job and remind yourself of the perks. Focus on the positive, acknowledge your strengths and decide to work on your weaknesses.
With this new mindset, you’ll inspire those around you to follow your lead. You can set goals together and celebrate the small wins. That’s essential for building a team of hard-working and driven individuals.
5. Brush up on your social skills.
Effective communication is closely related to being emotionally intelligent. Get better at that by learning the art of persuasion, becoming a better listener, asking the right questions and speaking in the right manner to gain attention and respect.
Doing this will help you to get what you want in your chosen career field but without affecting other people’s performance. It’s a set of skills that will allow you to form relationships, find a mentor, learn from everyone around you, get the information you need, and slowly but steadily reach your goals.
6. Have productive arguments.
Professionalism is nothing without passion. But passion causes arguments to get heated rather quickly if you disagree with a coworker about the task at hand.
While it’s okay to have disagreements at work, it is important to do it in a way that has a positive outcome for both sides (preferably with no screaming). Here’s a guide on how to have a productive argument at work:
There are many ways to develop emotional intelligence at work and these 6 are a good start.
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Hey, I’m Lidiya
Thanks for stopping by. I’m Lidiya, a blogger, course creator and founder of Let’s Reach Success.
I help high vibe women create an abundant, value-driven business so they can live a fearless life and provide epic value.
Have you ever wondered what the term Emotional Intelligence is? Or indeed thought about why it might be important? In a series of blogs over the next 15 weeks we are going to explore Emotional Intelligence, looks at what it is and what the practical details are for using Emotional Intelligence in every day life.
So what is it Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is all about how well you understand your own emotions and the emotions of others, and the ability to identify and manage them. Emotional Intelligence, also known as “Ei” or “EQ”, is now well established set of “Competencies” that contribute to performance, engagement and success.
Emotionally Intelligent people possess high levels of self-esteem and are comfortable in their own skin. They are genuine and authentic. Whilst they have the ability to adapt their behaviour, essentially they are always true to their real self. As a result they appear dynamic, enthusiastic and passionate. They listen to their intuition and communicate from their hearts as well as their heads. How can you engage people by logic alone? People with developed emotional intelligence traits have a compelling vision that others feel a connection with. This creates a magnetic force that draws people to follow them.
Emotional Intelligence is broken down in to five key areas Self Perception, Self Expression, Interpersonal, Decision Making and Stress Management. Within each of these areas there are three traits. Over the next 15 weeks we are going to discuss each of these traits in more detail with their own blog. Those traits of Emotional Intelligence are:
- Self Regard – having respect for self whilst understanding personal strengths and weaknesses. Feelings of inner strength and self-confidence are often related to Self Regard.
- Self-Actualisation – the want and need for personal improvement and the ability to pursue engaging, personally relevant, meaningful objectives that lead to a rich and enjoyable life.
- Emotional Self-Awareness – knowing and recognising the impact own emotions have on self and others. Being able to understand the cause of emotions and the effect they have on personal thoughts and actions.
- Emotional Expression – the ability to openly and constructively express personal feelings with verbally and non-verbally.
- Assertiveness – being able to communicate thoughts, feelings, beliefs or plans openly, being able to defend your actions and values in a constructive manner.
- Independence – self directed and free from the emotional dependency of others. Making decisions, planning and working through day to day life autonomously.
- Interpersonal Relationships – shows the skill of developing, and maintaining, strong beneficial relationships built on trust and compassion.
- Empathy – knowing, understanding and appreciating how others feel in various situations. Empathy is being able to articulate your understanding of others in a supportive, respectful way.
- Social Responsibility – your contribution to society, work or personal social groups. being responsible, having a social consciousness and sharing concern for the great community.
- Problem Solving – your ability to work through a problem and find solutions where emotions may be involved. This trait includes understanding how emotions impact decision making.
- Reality Testing – the ability to see things as they really are, remaining objective and recognising that emotions, or personal bias can cause one to be less objective.
- Impulse Control – the capacity to resist an impulse, drive or temptation to act. Avoiding rash decisions and behaviours that may result in regret.
- Flexibility – being dynamic with choice and flexing your emotions, thoughts and behaviours to ideas or situations that you wouldn’t normally.
- Stress Tolerance – the coping mechanism to deal with stressful or difficult situations and that the belief that one can manage and influence a better outcome, in the moment.
- Optimism – your positive attitude towards the future and your general outlook on life. Being resilient despite occasional setbacks.
Developing Emotional Intelligence
Listed above are 15 conceptual components of Emotional Intelligence that are measured subscales. You can develop Emotional intelligence and emotional skills over time. Emotional Intelligence changes throughout life, and can be improved through training and coaching programs.
Check back each week to take a deeper look at each of the subscales and explore ways in with each can be developed. You may want to sign up to our blog by email so you never miss out. or even come along to one of our Emotional Intelligence Masterclass workshops.
Did you know we currently offer [Virtual] Emotional Intelligence testing and training?
Before the workshop you will be invited to take part in a pre-course activity which includes an online self-assessment producing a 20 page personal Emotional Intelligence Report.
An employee’s skills and qualifications are important for success within their role. An employee’s Emotional Intelligence is just as important, if not more so, for fulfilment within, or potentially beyond, their current role. The Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace workshop is designed to as part of an individual’s development in work settings. It helps individuals focus on the impact of emotional intelligence at work and offers suggestions for working more effectively in one’s role, with colleagues, managers and clients.
- Understand the impact of Emotional Intelligence on themselves and the people around them
- Quickly identify patterns in own and others Emotional Intelligence
- Create a clear, organised understanding of their strengths and weaknesses in a constructive way.
- Effectively measure where they currently are and wants to be by comparing results against sample groups of general population
- Make instant connections between different subscales of Emotional Intelligence and help leverage EI strengths and improve EI weaknesses.
- Create an action plan to develop key areas of Emotional Intelligence
- Become a more effect member of the team and organisation– This virtual session is 4 hours with a 1 hour break.
– All of our Virtual Learning workshops are conducted via Zoom.
– Virtual learning begins at 10.30am through to 12.30pm and then again from 1.30pm to 3.30pm.
– You will receive an electronic version of your Emotional Intelligence report, and workshop materials will be sent via post.
To discover more about Emotional Intelligence and how LearningCog can help you, head over to our dedicated Emotional Intelligence page.
Emotional intelligence: Have you ever thought about why, when buying a new phone, laptop or TV, a person more often prefers a well-known brand product that is more expensive than a much cheaper analog of an unpopular brand?
At the same time, technical specifications, appearance, warranty are almost the same, so it is far from always possible to justify this with favorable conditions or better quality.
But did it happen that, having received a salary, you went shopping, spontaneously bought yourself something, and, after a while, thought about the expediency of this purchase and blamed yourself? It wasn’t worth it, because there are a lot of such people.
Those who in actions are guided by emotions and impulses, and not by logic. This may sound a little offensive, but they have insufficiently developed emotional intelligence – the ability to use and use their emotions, to manage them . But there is good news – you can train him. Further, it will be told how.
Emotional intelligence and the collapse of the classical economy
The starting point for a detailed study of the problems of emotional intelligence was 2002. Of course, the field of human emotions interested scientists constantly, but this year the Nobel Prize in Economics was awarded to psychologists D. Kahneman and W. Smith for their research in behavioral economics. If we talk about its results briefly, it was proved that most often people, when making decisions, are guided not by logical intelligence, but by emotions.
In support of this fact, a curious experiment was cited: the acquisition and loss of the same amount of money causes a person to experience different strengths. So, when acquiring, for example, $ 100, the degree of satisfaction is emotionally less than the loss of the same amount.
This is described in much more detail in the monograph by E. Khlevna and L. Yuzhaninova, “Where is your magic button? How to develop emotional intelligence. ” In it, the authors show the conviction that, as described above, the recognition of the merits of psychologists “was triggered by the trident on the classical economy.” Behavioral, on the other hand, was largely based on understanding the essence of emotional intelligence, the study of which J. Mayer and P. Salovei, professors at Yale University, have been engaged since 1990.
Under the term “emotional intelligence” (EQ, as opposed to IQ) in their writings describes the person’s ability to recognize emotions, to achieve and generate them in such a way as to promote thinking, understanding emotions and what they mean, and, accordingly, to manage them in such a way as to promote their emotional and intellectual growth.
Why does this person need this ability? Firstly, for effective communication with people. Not a single manager, HR manager, businessman, PR manager or advertiser can do without it. The dependence of the decisions made on the emotional background is true in any cases, which is why now so many nice cats and dogs convince us from the TV screens of the need to make some kind of purchase. The example is a little exaggerated, but the general idea conveys well. “Virus”, “word of mouth”,
Secondly, developed emotional intelligence makes it possible not to fall into commercial networks, to resist manipulation, and to correctly set priorities and goals.
More recently, we published material about empathy and you may have noticed some similarities between it and emotional intelligence. Indeed, empathy, as the ability to understand and empathize with the emotions of others, is one of the components of EQ. Along with self-management, social skills and self-awareness.
How to develop emotional intelligence
A high level of EQ allows a person to develop more productively in both personal and professional plans, manage stress and build effective communication with others. Work on its development will at least teach you to understand the background of some of your unconscious actions.
- Notice your emotional reactions. Pay attention to what is happening to you and around you, and try to understand how you feel about these phenomena on an emotional level. Do not ignore your feelings, as you lose an important part of the incoming information.
- Listen to your body language. Do not suppress the physical manifestations of feelings. Our mind and body are closely connected and, having learned to understand this connection, you can easily “read” identical feelings and experiences of others.
- Watch how your emotions and behavior are related. Anger makes us raise our voices, embarrassment makes us slurredly. These are just the most obvious examples, but when you understand the connection between experiences and behavior, you will learn how to deal with them and use them to your advantage.
- Do not suppress your feelings. Not in the sense that every time someone steps on your foot in public transport, you should start screaming. But negative emotions are as much part of an adequate reaction to what is happening as positive ones. Analyze your feelings, look for a way out and never hide insults and sorrows inside yourself.
- Develop anemotional memory. Keep a special diary and write down your emotional reactions there. Rereading it over time, you will be able to look at yourself from the side, to understand whether they have acted correctly or not, to correct your future behavior.
- Practice your desired reactions. You cannot force yourself to experience or not to experience any emotions, but you can decide how to react to them. Are you missing out on nothing? Make a conclusion, and next time control yourself, even if it’s difficult.
- Be open and friendly in relationships. These two qualities practically go hand in hand with emotional intelligence.
- Develop empathy skills. This will teach you to understand the feelings of other people and share your emotions with them.
- Learn to listen. Both literally and figuratively. Not only words have meaning, but also tone, expression, body language at the time of speech. With a certain degree of mastery in these parameters, you can even learn to distinguish between truth and falsehood.
- Be emotionally honest. You should not answer “excellent” to the question “how are you?”, Even asked out of banal politeness, if everything is bad with you. Moreover, it’s not worth it if in the morning everything did not work out for you and you look like a living illustration to the concept of “gloom”. Share with others both troubles and joys.
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Emotional intelligence concerns the ability to feel, recognize, communicate, respond to, and understand emotions. It is a big predictor of success in one’s career and relationships. People who wish to develop their emotional intelligence further might consider speaking to a mental health professional.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?
Howard Gardner first presented the idea of multiple intelligences in 1983, claiming there were multiple ways one could be smart. Later, Peter Salovey and John Mayer developed the concept of emotional intelligence, or EQ. Emotional intelligence describes one’s ability to use and understand emotions (both one’s own emotions and those of others).
The concept of EQ was popularized by Daniel Goleman in his 1995 publication Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Goleman described emotional intelligence as having five parts:
- Self-awareness : Recognizing one’s moods and emotions and their effect on others.
- Self-regulation : Using emotional knowledge to prevent moods or emotions from causing impulsive behavior.
- Internal motivation : Taking action or making decisions as a result of an inner drive (rather than for immediate rewards such as monetary gain). This drive can be based on optimism, curiosity, ambition, or personal ideals.
- Empathy : Understanding the emotions of others and using this knowledge to respond to people based on their emotional state.
- Social skills : Using one’s emotional intelligence to establish strong relationships and facilitate interactions with peers.
Emotional intelligence can be used for good or bad purposes. For example, people with a high EQ may recognize when a coworker is feeling stressed. One individual may use this knowledge to assist the person, perhaps by urging the coworker to take a break. Another individual may use this knowledge to sabotage a rival, riling them up so they look bad in front of the boss. In other words, having a high EQ doesn’t always mean someone is compassionate.
WHY IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IMPORTANT?
People can use emotional intelligence to improve mental health, reach goals, and develop fulfilling relationships. According to a 2018 report of North Americans, people with a high EQ are 8 times as likely to have a high quality of life as those with lower scores. A higher EQ can improve lifelong physical and mental health even more than academic ability.
Research also suggests EQ is more important than IQ for succeeding in the workplace. Employees with high EQ are more likely to display leadership skills and high business performance. Managers with a high EQ are more likely to retain employees long-term.
Meanwhile, if someone has a low EQ, they may have difficulty:
- Forming healthy friendships or relationships.
- Working as a team in school or on a job.
- Communicating their needs and desires in a productive manner.
- Recognizing and regulating their own emotions.
- Avoiding regretful actions or words spoken in anger.
These difficulties can cause a person to become isolated. Isolation, in turn, can prevent a person from developing social skills on their own. Some people may need to take classes or training sessions to build up their emotional intelligence. Like any other skill, emotional intelligence can be improved through effort and practice.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND GENDER
Studies disagree on whether gender influences one’s emotional intelligence. The 2018 State of the Heart report included 200,000 people in 160 countries. The study looked at average EQ scores in six global regions. Only two regions showed statistically significant differences between men and women. The first, Pacific Asia, showed women having higher average EQ scores. The second, Latin America, showed men having the higher scores.
A 2016 study disagrees with these findings, claiming women overwhelmingly outperform men in emotional intelligence. That study looked at 55,000 working professionals across 90 countries. Researchers found:
- Women were 45% more likely than men to demonstrate empathy consistently.
- Women were also more likely to have consistent emotional self-awareness. The report found 18.4% of women had this competency compared to 9.9% of men.
- Out of 12 emotional intelligence competencies, the only one men and women showed in equal measure was emotional self-control.
It is important to note that these studies measured emotional intelligence in different ways. The 2016 study had a business focus, while the 2018 study looked at general competencies and populations. Furthermore, gender averages are not the same as limits. A woman in Latin America may score higher than the average man; a man in Pacific Asia can score higher than the average woman. One’s emotional intelligence is not constrained by gender.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND MENTAL HEALTH
Research has shown that certain mental health conditions are associated with lower levels of emotional intelligence.
- Borderline personality (BPD) may indicate a heightened sensitivity to the expression of emotion. Yet people with BPD often struggle to label said feelings and their meanings. They also have less skill in regulating their own emotions.
- Depression is often linked to lower EQ scores. Someone with depression may be less sensitive to changing emotional contexts. As such, they may become stuck in a negativity bias.
- Social anxiety can sometimes be connected to low EQ. A person may fear talking with others due to their low social skills. They may perceive neutral expressions as hostile, causing them to misinterpret social cues.
- Substance abuse can also lead to severe deficits in all aspects of emotional intelligence. Compared to the conditions above, substance abuse often causes the largest impairments in emotional perception and regulation.
Asperger’s syndrome is also characterized by lower emotional intelligence. People on the autism spectrum often have difficulty expressing emotions or guessing what others are feeling. Research blames these difficulties on a lack of cognitive flexibility. Autistic people can struggle to shift their attention from one idea to another. Yet emotional intelligence often requires adapting to rapidly changing contexts. Thus, autistic individuals may struggle to integrate emotional information into an otherwise rigid thought process.
Research has shown a link between a low EQ and the likelihood of engaging in destructive or self-destructive acts. Some people may use self-harm as a way to forcibly regulate their emotions. Improving emotional intelligence can help a person reduce mental health symptoms. A high EQ can also reduce tendencies toward aggression and quicken recovery from traumatic events.
The right therapist can help an individual improve their emotional intelligence and their overall well-being.