Increased self-confidence, improved social skills, no worries about your appearance, your problems or what other people think of you are just some of the things alcohol helps strip away. However, imagine being able to access all the benefits of being drunk without ever buying an alcoholic beverage.В I learned how to do it, and I’ve never been happier.
I’ve had no moreВ hangovers, I’ve made no more dumb decisions and I haven’t woken up with an empty wallet.В This clean buzz I taught myself to cultivate feels way better than being wasted, and it’s also improved several aspects of my personality.В The method? Let’s call it “flow.”
The Key To Eliminating Your Inhibitions
The great thing about getting drunk is we eliminate our inhibitions. We all want to stop feeling self-conscious, and drinking is the simplest solution.В With flow, you’ll do it sober.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote a well-known book on this sensation. He describes “flow” as a state of complete focus, often experienced during enjoyable, yet challenging activities.
Sports. Games. Musical instruments. If it stretches us in some way, we can become engrossed. And when we’re in that sweet spot, it’s as if nothing else exists.В All fears and insecurities outside the activity fade into irrelevance. Self-awareness dissipates.
So, how can you find your flow? Csikszentmihalyi says it’s commonly found completing tasks with clear goals, feedback and a fair amount of difficulty. Concentration and control over the outcome are also key.
Finding Your FlowВ In Drinking Environments
I find my flow in drinking environments by doing what most blokes are there to do anyway: Meet beautiful women.В Most single men arrive at these venues hoping they’ll take home a hottie, yet only a handful take serious action to try and achieve this.
But there’s so much enjoyment to be taken by treating seduction like a sport. By attempting to take a woman home by the end of the night, we’reВ playing what best-selling author Neil Strauss calls “The Game.”
Finding this flow feels like being drunk, but without drinking.В It’s initially nerve-wracking. That’s natural. Some women will be mean. That’s unavoidable. Still, if you push past that and start speaking with more and more of them, you’ll understand how to find that flow state.В Soon enough, you’ll actually enjoy the adrenaline spike of approaching a stranger. The unpredictability of handling her reactions and the intricate social skills needed to overcome her objections will thrill you.В It checks all Czyskimayaki’s boxes.
Add the natural buzz that comes with acting charismatically, the joys of joking around with random people and the thrill of flirting with beautiful women and you can even experience an ecstatic, care-free, super-sociable state that feels just like being drunk.
But why do this sober?В Sober seduction is healthier and saves money, but the main benefit is the skills you’ll learn, such as:
1. You’ll reduce all anxiety associated with approaching strangers.
2. You’ll become far less affected by other people’s opinions.
3. You’ll find out how to have more fun than anyone else in the club.
Why? Because if you’re boring, anxious or approval-seeking around the women you’re meeting, they typically won’t want to speak for very long.
Women have been hit on by thousands of men. They tend to be ruthless when things aren’t going well. So, if you’re not used to speaking to strangers while sober, expect your fair share of car crashes early on.В Stick withВ it, though, and you’ll become stronger. You’ll remember what went wrong. You’ll improve with every party you attend. You’ll get better at seducing beautiful women, and you won’t need a drink to boost your confidence.
It’s Not All About The Sex
For most dudes, this will be the main incentive to get “drunk without drinking.”В It’s why I started, and the standard of women I sleep with has been skyrocketing ever since. It’s actually quite startling.В But sometimes, when I’m playing this game, the quest of getting the girl is better than the sex (sometimes).
This flow state is my favorite feeling to experience. It’s made me who I am today. I’ve become more sociable, I’m better at self-amusing, I’ve been on crazy adventures and made amazing friends. The benefits are endless.
This is not all about fishnet shirts and negging, like in Neil Strauss’ famous book.В It’s about pure fun and self-improvement.В And I’d definitely take that over downing a few pints everyВ weekend.
Believe it or not, the key to being a great bedmate and enjoying yourself in the sack isn’t all about having technical sex skills. What’s essential is being able to let go. In fact, 46 percent of guys surveyed by Cosmo said the one thing they want more of in bed is enthusiasm. “You need to tune out the world and focus your entire body and mind on the erotic experience,” says sex therapist Linda De Villers, PhD, author of Love Skills. We’ll show you how to throw yourself full-throttle into the action.
It’s hard to be unbridled in bed when you’re worried about jiggly thighs, squooshy sex noises, and whether your man is enjoying himself. To be fully present in the encounter, you have to get into a no-stress, thought-free zone by minimizing any mood-killing distractions. “Turn down the lights so you’re not as body-conscious, unplug the phone to avoid interruption and pop in soft music that will inspire your sexual side,” says love coach Pam Spurr, PhD, author of Make Love All Night and Talk to Him in the Morning.
Then, get in the right mind-set by focusing solely on all the sensations. “Think about how he feels inside you, visualize him going in and out and rubbing against you,” says Spurr. “Not only will it help you get into a rhythm with your man, but it’ll also make the sex more of a physical, tactile experience rather than a psychological one.”
You may feel silly when an “Oh God, yes!” escapes your mouth during orgasm, but most men love the background vocals. “When you make sounds during sex, it lets your guy know that he’s pleasing you, which is a major turn-on for him,” De Villers points out.
But how do you go from silent sex kitten to out-loud lioness? To start, don’t fake it: If you try to make noises that don’t come naturally, you’ll feel more awkward. Instead, just start slow. “When you feel a moan coming on, resist your urge to stifle yourself and let it out,” says Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Orgasms for Two. “You may also want to try saying what’s in your head, like, ‘That feels so good,’ or ‘Keep doing that.'” As you become more comfortable being audible, you won’t worry so much about what you sound like during an intense, climactic moment.
To truly unleash your inner sex goddess, you have to adopt an assertive erotic attitude and be a proactive participant in the action. Meaning: You need to play the role of bedroom boss and let your man know what you want. “When you take charge of the sexual encounter, you’re able to use your whole body and control your own pleasure,” says De Villers. “That can’t happen when you’re pinned underneath him like a dead fish.”
So throw your man on the bed, hop on top and ride away until you reach your maximum passion potential. Switch things up by gyrating in circles or thrusting back and forth rather than just up and down. Change the pace or angle of penetration. Not only will the sack session be as wild and crazy as you want it to be, but your guy will get off on your calling the shots too.
Don’t Be Shy
Researchers have found that women who adopt a submissive role during sex experience decreased levels of arousal.
SOURCE: UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN STUDY
I have traveled all over the world to lecture on love, relationships, romance and sexuality and one of the universal similarities we all have in common are inhibitions. They are self-imposed restrictions on one’s behavior and they come from our subconscious mind. Our mind is predisposed to the way we were raised so it’s not surprising that many people have inhibitions based upon negative influences, repression and societal restraints on sexual behavior.
For example, many women suffer from the “good girl syndrome” because they were taught that only “bad girls” will do a striptease for their lover, masturbate, give oral, have anal or even initiate sex when they want it. Women are often raised with shame and guilt about their body so they are inhibited about the size or shape of their breasts, the look and smell of their vagina, losing control during orgasm and of course asking for what they want in bed.
Male inhibitions are different but can be just as unhealthy. For example, many men were taught not to show their feelings because it’s a sign of weakness. Men are inhibited about the size of their penis because they’ve been taught that size does matter, some men think that a woman’s vagina should smell like spring flowers or autumn rain, men hate asking for directions so why would they ever ask their lover what pleases them? Apparently a man should know what a woman wants and so the list of inhibitions goes on.
It’s no wonder so many couples are sexually frustrated. If you can’t talk about what turns you on, then you can’t expect your lover to read your mind. After all, you wouldn’t dream of not telling a waiter how you like your steak cooked because you don’t want to ruin a good piece of meat, then why would you risk the demise of a good relationship by not talking about what you want in bed?
The best solution that I’ve found for overcoming any inhibition is to simply face it. It is my belief that you will always have regrets if you don’t overcome obstacles. A life with regrets is a life that has not fully been realized, experienced and enjoyed. If you can shed your inhibitions with the one you love, you will find a much stronger connection in your relationship. On the same note, if you can shed your inhibitions with yourself, you will have the opportunity to discover and explore parts of you that you may never have known existed.
Breaking Down the Walls
Becoming totally open and aware of your likes and dislikes is the first step to breaking down inhibition walls that may be standing in your way of experiencing complete intimate gratification. It can also help you to trust yourself and others on a level that maybe you have never imagined. When you know yourself and feel confident in what you expect of yourself and others, doors you may have never even known were there can open. Once new doors open, you then have more choices and the opportunity to expand your personal
Every day we wake up and most of us have a daily routine that we are used to and essentially play out as if it were the script to our life. Although this script has become our comfort zone, is one that we have memorized and followed, when we are engrossed in that routine it can pigeonhole us and in some cases rob us of a life filled with adventure, intrigue, and experience. Part of discovering and releasing inhibitions can offer an opportunity for to veer off that beaten path and just for a while escape from an everyday
redundant routine. This is your chance to write your own script through direct knowledge of what makes you feel happy and excited. Break down the walls of predictability, make some positive changes and empower yourself because you are in control.
Boundaries empower us to determine how we’ll be treated by others so define your sexual and emotional boundaries by limiting what is safe and appropriate for you sexually and emotionally. For example, a sexual boundary could be that you don’t have intercourse on a first date and you never have intercourse without a condom. An emotional boundary could be that you never say, “I love you” to someone unless you really mean it. Boundaries also include who we interact with sexually and the consequences of that interaction both of which are your choices. Having boundaries can bring order to our lives and as we have a clear vision of our boundaries we can overcome our inhibitions too.
Just like inhibitions, boundaries are formed early on and we learn about them by the way that we are treated. We can teach our boundaries to others by refusing to hug someone, refusing to go all the way sexually or refusing to be emotionally abused by someone who is calling us names and being disrespectful. Once you allow someone to step over your personal boundaries, this is called boundary violation and it can become an endless cycle of emotional and physical pain. Consequently, I encourage everyone to set their own boundaries through self-awareness and knowledge. Here are some tips on how to accomplish that:
- Be aware of what arouses you
- Be knowledgeable about your body and its biological changes
- Give yourself permission to surrender to pleasure because you are worthy of it
- Take responsibility for your own orgasm; don’t expect someone to give it to you
- Share your sexual turn ons with your lover
- Communicate your wants, needs, desires and fears with your lover
- Share your fantasies with your lover
This is an excerpt from The Loveologist Guide to Inhibitions by Dr. Ava Cadell. Visit The Loveology University Bookstore to find a wealth of resources, including e-books and audiobooks, to help you have a richer and more fulfilling sex life.
Launching Loveology University® is one of my dreams come true because I believe we teach what we need to learn the most. Raised in a repressed environment without positive life or love lessons from parents or peers, my main goal was to help make the world a better place by empowering people to overcome sexual guilt and shame. I established Love U in order to share the vast knowledge I have gained in the last fifteen years offering students a wealth of information on love, relationships, intimacy and sex they may otherwise not have access to. At Love U, you can become certified as a Loveologist and Love Coach, a Master Sexpert or choose from dozens of other certified courses.
In the last ten years, I have written seven books and lectured worldwide, appeared on hundreds of notable TV shows as an expert and contribute to myriad of magazines who solicit my advice on a regular basis. I maintain a private practice in Los Angeles where I help clients with love, relationship and sexual issues. I address concerns varying from communication problems, performance anxiety, infidelity, sexual compulsion, inability to orgasm to parental concerns.
In summary, I continue to dedicate my life to helping individuals, creating programs and products to promote the benefits of healthy love, relationships, intimacy and sex around the globe as I continue to study and collaborate with therapists, social workers, doctors and scientists on a daily basis to pursue quality and distinction in my career.
Future Plans: To exemplify the value of love and make a significant impact on the human race. To train millions of Love Coaches so they can help people to have healthy relationships and change the vibration of this planet.
It was a backwards jump into the unknown, but for Jonathan Stebbings a weekend `mytho-drama’ event was both rewarding and liberating.
Within half an hour of starting the Wild Dance weekend I felt way out of my depth. I found myself shifting from one foot to the other as the rest of the group (an intriguing mix of ages, genders and lifestyles) thrashed, rolled, cried and cursed to a tribal rhythm thumped out on a massive drum. If I shut my eyes the beat did become a hypnotic, but I wasn’t going to “express” myself for anybody.
This was a birthday present. I had asked for an experience I would not normally choose, and my wife had presented me with Wild Dance Events’ brochure and suggested “Vision & Regeneration in Winter’s Tale”, at the Globe Theatre. This was described as “a weekend of mytho-drama”. What attracted me was the prospect of hamming it up with Mark Rylance and Richard Olivier, two leading lights behind the rebirth of Shakespeare’s Globe.
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As the course developed it became clear that mytho-drama is a way of using a dramatic text to explore one’s own emotional condition. Each person, obviously, gets something different out of the experience. Our dramatic text, The Winter’s Tale, is an archetype of emotional stagnation and regeneration for which participants were asked to bring two suitable symbols. So from the depths of Oxfordshire I headed for London with some horse manure (my symbol of stagnation) and an egg from my daughter’s chicken (regeneration).
The first day concentrated on the tragic first half of The Winter’s Tale, and it finished with a requiem chant and the option to present an offering to an altar for something we had lost. I still felt silly swaying and singing in a central African dialect. But after 10 minutes – you need patience before the spirit turns up – I began to feel a strong urge to present my egg to my long-dead father. The more my inhibitions bridled at the prospect, the more I felt compelled to walk alone, in front of all those people, and make a private, personal gesture to someone I had been unable to communicate with in life and barely able to think about after his death. I found myself addressing an issue I had buried for 10 years, clearly and sincerely. It was like an unblocked sink draining away at last.
The next morning began with Richard Olivier leading us on a journey through the elements and seasons as a mythic assessment of our lives at different stages. Again, I felt that to view my condition as static or dynamic, male or female, was pop psycho-babble.
Apparently I was stuck in the autumn of a static male; in other words, I was a crusty old bugger like King Lear, who needed a good shove towards the next stage – “dynamic female”. I had to “become” Perdita, heroine of The Winter’s Tale. As a classically repressed Englishman I like to camp it up with the best of them; but turning into a 16-year-old shepherdess who is really a lost princess wasn’t so compelling. However, soon we were moving to the rhythm of the drum and I found myself drawn to Perdita’s wintry domain. Some lilies on the altar caught my attention and as I sniffed them in my abandonment, red pollen stained my nose. Before long I had daubed my face and arms and began behaving in the way one can’t remember at a good party.
I spent the rest of the day looking like a savage. I braved lunch at a Southwark pub, and then threw myself into the next ritual. This culminated in being led blindfold by Richard Olivier along passages and up stairs. I was taken through a door and felt the wind on my face. I realised we were on the roof, seven floors up. I was led up ladders and round corners – I heard traffic far below and trains on the London Bridge line. Then I was told to fall backwards.
I expected to be caught almost immediately, but I continued falling into space for what seemed a delicious and liberated age. Then hands reached out to stop me. I suppose the essence of it was to be willing to take a risk – literally a leap in the dark.
Wild Dance, a non-profit making organisation, began seven years ago after Richard Olivier organised an event for the American poet Robert Bly, author of Iron John and doyen of the mythic movement. A veteran of the best and victim of the worst aspects of the men’s movement, Olivier developed Wild Dance Events from his work with Bly.
It is now Britain’s leading exponent of workshops for men and women and runs many events – from evenings to week-long retreats, for men, women, mixed groups, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters. The media include poetry, story-telling, music, drumming and dance. Every event is unique, adapting to the needs and personalities of those taking part. Many of the rituals are chosen or even invented as the event happens.
There is no connection with any religion or New Age practice, so it is a comfortable place for rational sceptics and fundamentalists. You don’t need experience or talent to take part, and at no point are you expected to reveal anything about yourself. Great emphasis is placed on physical and emotional safety; the leaders remain detached from proceedings to ensure everyone’s well-being.
Next year their events will include a weekend for fathers and sons, two rites of passage weeks and mytho-drama weekends with Richard Olivier and Mark Rylance, based on the Globe’s productions.
For next year’s programme, call Wild Dance Events (0171-813 4260), or write to BCM, Box 8059, London WC1N 3XX.
Nearly everyone has taken a stiff belt to shake inhibition. Whether you’re mustering the courage to cut loose on the dance floor, approach someone gorgeous, or make a point at a dinner party, a glass of wine can loosen lips and hips while eliminating self-doubt. But our sudden confidence can’t be explained by intoxication alone, which is just the result of alcohol interfering with nerve signals. Recent research suggests drink does much more than make us stupid or incautious: It boosts levels of a brain chemical that calms anxious thoughts. And these findings indicate that you can achieve the same effect without booze.
Scientists have been turning up links between anxiety and alcoholism for a couple of decades, though few had spent much time figuring out how the two are related. A couple of years ago, Subhash Pandey, PhD, a neuroscientist at the University of Illinois at Chicago, began offering rats a drink—rats that had been bred to dislike alcohol and others bred to crave it. After analyzing a section of the rats’ brains known as the amygdala—it’s where emotions are processed—Pandey found that the drinkers were suspiciously low in a protein called CREB that helps nourish key neurotransmitters in the amygdala. Pandey theorized that when the rats—and by extension, humans—are low in CREB, those neurotransmitters wither, and communication between neurons suffers. The outward result is anxiety, driving the urge to hit the bottle—hard.
To test his theory, Pandey monitored brain activity in alcoholic rats as they drank. Sure enough, soon after the first sip of alcohol, CREB levels shot up and anxious behavior subsided. Next he injected the rats with a chemical that boosted CREB function, and, magically, the rats drank much less. To complete his test, he injected alcohol-avoiding rats with a substance that blocked CREB function. Right on cue, the teetotaling rats became anxious and began hitting the alcohol-containing bottle.
Pandey’s focus has been alcoholism, but he believes that even casual drinkers may be unconsciously seeking a CREB boost. “Without question, mildly low levels of CREB could explain the kind of anxiety seen in inhibition,” he says. Other research points to nonalcoholic means of triggering this brain protein, including regular exercise, music, and antidepressants like Prozac. In one study, a beta-blocker called propranolol—it’s favored by performers and public speakers—helped raise levels of a CREB-related gene. Pandey believes his results will lead to more effective alcoholism treatment. But the findings can also help anyone looking to shed their shy ways. And it’s nice to have alternatives to alcohol, especially for those of us who have ever blurred the line between loss of inhibition and loss of control.
Why have good sex when you can have great sex? Great sex is all about being completely free –- free to explore, free to experiment, free to let go in complete ecstasy. To do so, you’ve got to get confident! To learn how to increase your confidence and unleash the sexual goddess buried within you into your bedroom, car, neighborhood park, etc., follow these easy tips.
Learn to love your booty and all the rest of you, too
Spend time getting to know your curves. Try standing in front of a full-length mirror and just see yourself. Admire what your man sees when he lustfully looks at you. Focus on what you do like, not what you don’t. He doesn’t care if you have cellulite on your thighs or you are a month overdo on a wax, so neither should you. If you expend your energy concentrating on your perceived flaws, you won’t be focused on the good stuff. Fall in love with yourself, so you can flaunt your beautiful body with confidence.
It’s all in the lighting
We all look better in dim lighting, so prepare your environment accordingly. Light some candles, throw a scarf over a bedside lamp, take advantage of the moonlight. Soft lighting will downplay the parts you don’t love, leaving you to focus on flaunting the parts that you do.
Practice your moves
Remember when you made out with your pillow before your first kiss, just for practice? Ok maybe that was just us, but it’s a good idea – not because it guarantees you will ace your moves when you get in the game, but because it will give you more confidence when you get up to bat.
Think about sex
At least twice a day, consciously think about sex. Imagine what you would do to your partner if he was around at that very moment, say, in your meeting. Send him a naughty text message. Go browsing for sexy lingerie online. Use this exercise to keep sex on your brain as a form of personal foreplay.
Visualize fantasies. According to sex guru and host of radio show Sex with Emily, Emily Morse, reading sexy novels, and daring to watch pornography all prepare your mind and body for sex. She says, “The brain is a woman’s largest sex organ, and using it to visualize and practice how you want it to all go down when it’s going down will certainly boost confidence.”
Create an affirmation
Develop a mantra that you repeat just before or during sex that injects your confidence with a boost. When your nerves start to rattle or the “good girl” in you takes over, start whispering in your ear, “you can’t do that,” use your affirmation to jolt you into sex goddess mode.
Morse also recommends reading up on sex. Two books she suggests: The Joy of Sex and The Guide to Getting it On. Emily warns, “Don’t get overwhelmed by the volume of choices or complicated options. Start slowly and simply by picking one tip and do it the next time you have sex. Remember that you are not going for award-winning moves here – just easy tricks to expand your repertoire and build your self-confidence.”
Wear a wig
Perhaps your man has mentioned one time (or two or three) how much he’d love to see you dressed up as a naughty nurse or a bad cop, but the idea of it is just too much to bear. Instead start with a wig. Admit it – you’ve always wanted to know what you’ve looked like as a blonde bombshell or a red-headed seductress – now is your chance. Slipping on a wig allows you the freedom to step outside of yourself and be someone else.
Wear a blindfold
Blocking off your eyesight serves two purposes: 1) Shutting down one sense to heighten others, and 2) Getting lost in an identity created in your mind. Chanel your sex hero – Angelina Jolie, Samantha Jones, Jenna Jameson – for inspiration and let your body do the rest of the work.
Think to yourself, “Why not?”
When you reach a mental block — and believe us, it is always mental, because your body was made to experience sexual pleasure — think to yourself, “What do I have to lose?” Even if you try a complex maneuver and pull a hamstring, your man will be appreciative of your attempt to let loose.
As Natasha Bedingfield said in her popular early 2000’s song Unwritten, “release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin.” What she meant by that was to let nothing stop you. Release everything that is holding you back, which she refers to as inhibitions. How would one define inhibitions? The definition of inhibition is a feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way.
Now the word inhibition at times has a negative connotation, but some inhibitions are good. Our inhibitions can prevent us from smashing that glass because we are furious. On the other hand, our inhibitions can keep us from trying out for that role in the school play or asking that guy out you saw in the grocery store. Other inhibitions are feeling inadequate, being overly shy, fearing loss of control, having low self-esteem, etc. Holistically, most inhibitions are fear based. Releasing your inhibitions means letting go of the things that hold you back from saying and doing what you would naturally do if you weren’t thinking about the repercussions of it.
Here are five ways to release your inhibitions:
- Do something outside of your comfort zone- Sometimes being in places that you are uncomfortable in can heighten your inhibitions. Forcing yourself to do something outside of your comfort zone can allow you to practice being in spaces where you are forced to be yourself without being able to predict the reactions of those around you. You are learning to be confident in all environments. Doing things outside your comfort zone increases feelings of freedom, making it easier to lower your inhibitions when you need and want.
- Fall in love with YOU- Can you honestly say you love yourself, wholeheartedly? Do you reflect on who you are, what you love, in what ways you want to grow? The closer you are to yourself, the lower your inhibitions will be. Knowing yourself best increases self- confidence which will increase your ability to be confident in situations that may cause your inhibitions to rise.
- Spend time with supportive people- When you look around your friend group do you see people that encourage you to be you? Do you feel like you can be yourself around them, your genuine self? Do they pressure you into doing things that don’t fit with your values or beliefs? Ask these questions and reflect on their answers. Being around people that bring out the best in you because that encourages you to be comfortable with who you are. This may consequently lower your inhibitions in other settings because you have built another layer of confidence through the love and support of your friends and family.
- Be aware- If you don’t realize your inhibitions are holding you back or even that they exist, how can you stop them. It is important that you notice this pattern of behavior. One way is keeping track of your inhibitions would be to track them in a diary. Reflect on the inhibition and take the steps necessary to conquer it.
- Positive Affirmations- Affirmations, or positive affirmations are positive statements that challenge negative thoughts. These positive affirmations have the ability to help challenge and overcome self-sabotaging thoughts like your inhibitions. The more frequently you repeat them and believe them, the more likely you can positively change them.
Your inhibitions are your creations, sort of like bad habits that can be broken. At some point, you turned your inhibitions into beliefs and you have given them power. You have the power and free will to change or lose your inhibitions. So take Natasha’s advice, because the rest is still unwritten.
I often see children playing out in public as if nothing existed beyond the game they were engaged in. Witnessing children’s play is joyful; it is so uninhibited and they are so absorbed. As adults, we can learn a great deal from child like play. When we allow ourselves to fully let go of our inhibitions whilst engaging in play we enter a truly joyful and captivated state.
Naturally inhibitions serve a purpose. As we approach adulthood we learn what is socially acceptable and what is not and thus develop inhibitions around what we consider to be socially unacceptable. Like any psychological protection mechanism it can backfire and prove outdated. The danger is that I might perceive something as socially unacceptable whereas in fact it is fine. For example, I always used to dance whenever I felt like it – whether the dance floor was empty or not. Since giving up drinking, this proved harder and admittedly my inhibitions curtailed my spontaneous dancing… for a while.
So if you want to recapture your inner child and be captivated by play again simply follow the steps I successfully took which will help you to lose your inhibitions.
Step One – Imagine The Most Realistic Scenario and Prepare
What do you think would happen if you danced badly? Really? Honestly assess the most realistic outcome and then if you feel you need to prepare more, do! If you really think you’ll be ostracized and feel humiliated for being a bad dancer look at the dancers who have style – what makes them stand out as good dancers? Imitate them and/or practice at home before you take the leap onto the club dance floor.
NB: If you really think your friends would ostracize you, you may want to evaluate your friendships.
Step Two – Jump Into The Deep End
When I first started dancing sober I remember feeling extremely self-conscious. What got me to the point of not giving a damn was by my going out as much as possible and dancing – whether I felt like it or not. I threw myself into the deep end, into a possible scenario where I would lack rhythm and feel humiliated (my friends are all quite good dancers). I confronted my fears head on. At times when I didn’t feel like dancing I just pretended I did.
After several months of dancing sober and acting ‘as if’ I genuinely had no hang ups about dancing sober anymore and in fact, I can often be found on the dance floor long after my friends have all faded.
Likewise, confront your fears and actively place yourself in situations where you’re usually inhibited, instead committing to sing at karaoke, dance sober or even laugh at your own jokes! After a while these situations will feel less scary and soon you will be uninhibited for real.
What situations make you feel inhibited? Do you avoid doing things which make you self-conscious? Have you ever enjoyed uninhabited play? When and how was it? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.
Following using psychology to transform my life, I founded Accessible Psychology to help empower others to live the life they long for. My journey is living testimony that no matter where you are, absolutely everyone can apply psychology in order to lead more fulfilling lives.
Oh and I love Oprah, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins and lovely people like you!
I have travelled all over Jamaica and other parts of the world to lecture on love, relationships, romance, and sexuality.
One of the universal similarities we all have in common are inhibitions. They are self-imposed restrictions on one’s behaviour and they sometimes come from our subconscious mind and our spiritual and secular socialisation. Our mind is predisposed to the way we were raised, so it’s not surprising that many people have inhibitions based upon negative influences, repression, and societal restraints on sexual behaviour.
For example, many women suffer from the ‘good girl syndrome’ because they were taught that only ‘bad girls’ will do a striptease for their spouses, masturbate for them, give oral, or even initiate sex when they want it. Women are often raised with shame and guilt about their bodies so they are inhibited about the size or shape of their breasts, the look and smell of their vagina, losing control during orgasm, and, of course, asking for what they want in bed.
Male inhibitions are different, but can be just as unhealthy. For example, many men were taught not to show their feelings because it’s a sign of weakness. Men are inhibited about the size of their penis because they’ve been taught that size does matter. Some men think that a woman’s vagina should smell like spring flowers or winter rain. Men hate asking for directions so why would they ever ask their lover what
pleases them? Apparently, a man should know what a woman wants, and so the list of inhibitions goes on.
It’s no wonder so many couples are sexually frustrated. If you can’t talk about what turns you on, then you can’t expect your spouses to read your mind. After all, you wouldn’t dream of not telling a waiter how you like your pork cooked because you don’t want to ruin a good piece of meat. Then why would you risk the demise of a good relationship by not talking about what you want in bed?
The best solution that I’ve found for overcoming any inhibition is to simply face it. It is my belief that you will always have regrets if you don’t overcome obstacles. A life with regrets is a life that has not fully been realised, experienced, and enjoyed. If you can shed your inhibitions with the one you love, you will find a much stronger connection in your relationship. On the same note, if you can shed your inhibitions with yourself, you will have the opportunity to discover and explore parts of you that you may never have known existed. So, let’s begin by breaking down the walls.
Breaking down the walls
Becoming totally open and aware of your likes and dislikes is the first step to breaking down walls that may be standing in your way of experiencing complete intimate gratification. It can also help you to trust yourself and others on a level that maybe you have never imagined. When you know yourself and feel confident in what you expect of yourself and others, doors you may have never even known were there can open. Once new doors open, you then have more choices and the opportunity to expand your personal horizons.
Using the power of your subconscious to overcome and lose your inhibitions in a positive and focused way is in fact the only effective way to do this. All self assured and sexually confident people use this subconscious power consistently all the time whether they know it or not. Equally, satisfying and fulfilling experiences in both female and male sexuality are founded on at least some degree of emotional and sexual intimacy, but if you feel that you somehow can’t lose your inhibitions then this intimacy will not happen.
What are Inhibitions?
For better or worse, societies in general tend to promote conformity in one way or another, some more so than others, though there’s a strong case that social structures based more on individualism merely encourage a different form of conformity.
Feeling constrained and inhibited therefore isn’t always something that comes from “within”, there are social pressures around you designed to discourage behavior deemed to be unacceptable.
However when personal inhibitions relating to male or female sexuality are holding you back, causing you to miss opportunities and lowering the quality of your life then it’s time to look “within” and start to do something about it.
Inhibition is something that we’re very consciously aware of. You may feel inhibited about taking the lead in a group conversation and saying something that may arouse ridicule, even if you believe in what you want to say, because of fear of the reaction that it would get and how that would impact on the ego.
Many people – though not all – would take the safer option and keep their opinion to themselves, and privately think less of themselves as a consequence anyway.
Or you may have met someone you consider to be personally and sexually attractive, and feel that there’s a possibility that the feeling may be mutual. In your mind you start to imagine yourself approaching this person and everything just clicks and goes like a dream and you’re both smiling at each other and. but then you become consciously aware of thoughts and feelings of doubt and fear, what if he/she just laughs at me? How terrible will I feel then? Is it worth trying? Maybe not, maybe “next time”. And there goes the end of another potentially life changing opportunity.
Losing The Wrong Inhibitions
It’s obviously well known that alcohol can release inhibitions – break the ice – to varying degrees, largely dependent on how much is consumed and in what circumstances. Unless you have your own personal reasons for total abstinence, there’s nothing wrong with moderate alcohol consumption. However to use alcohol or any other drug specifically as a way to lose your inhibitions is a strategy that will often end in grief.
By using artificial means of losing inhibition, such as alcohol, you end up not only losing inhibitions – and not necessarily the ones you wanted to lose – but also your sense of judgement and focus, consequently defeating the purpose of the exercise in the first place.
An excessively shy or inhibited person is almost certainly someone who has issues with confidence and self esteem. Someone who is very inhibited about making social and sexual connections with others is to some extent plagued by self doubt and emotional insecurity, able to see the opportunities but unable to see beyond their mental picture of themselves somehow failing at every attempt.
To truly free yourself from the constraints of self defeating and unnecessary inhibitions you have to change the way that you consciously think about yourself.
Help To Lose Your Inhibitions
Someone who is overly sexually inhibited may well have difficulties with other aspects of their life as well, however if sex and sexual relationships and issues with emotional closeness seem to be the main concern demanding attention and holding you back from finding a healthy relationship, then your “sexual personality” is where the focus should go.
There are two ways to look at this, in that some opinion holds that sexual inhibition comes from an overall lack of confidence, and that the person should be, in the first instance anyway, guided towards hypnosis for self esteem building.
Alternatively, it may be that you feel clearly that your main inhibitory problem relates specifically to sex and sexual situations, and that therefore hypnosis for male or female sexual enhancement would be more appropriate. It would have to be up to the individual with their own self knowledge to make that particular call.
As a way to lose your inhibitions and deal with intimacy issues hypnosis has been acknowledged as a proven and successful method. By – daily and/or nightly for a few weeks – relaxing quite deeply while absorbing an appropriately themed pc or mp3 hypnosis download, you train your conscious mind to discard the negative feelings and mental images of failure that appear in your mind whenever you think of yourself trying to take positive action in some situation. As a result of this, your self image improves, and whatever image of yourself you have in your conscious mind becomes imprinted on your all powerful subconscious which then leads you to and attracts to you people and situations which will confirm this new self image. To lose your inhibitions and build sexual confidence is not some far off and distant dream, it’s within your power now.
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You recently got married and now it is the time to consummate your relationship. But, your nerves are chilled even from the thought of the performance of the carnal act. This means, you might be apprehensive about the act of physical indulgence that maybe a result of any of the reasons: trauma you have been through in your earlier life, or are just nervous about the fact how you will initiate and how exactly it will turn out to be. Or it might be that you are just too shy and conservative that you can not even think of revealing yourself in front of someone. Though you love your spouse a lot, but when it comes to physical intimacy, lack of it can turn a loving relationship into a sour one, making your relationship suffer a lot. So, what steps should be taken to consummate your relationship and take it to next level? We are here to help you out.
Get Over Your Fears This is a major step to start with. The inhibitions are nothing but fears which keep you from enjoying the carnal pleasures. So first of all, you need to be mentally prepared for the stuff. You should decide yourself that you want to let your hair loose and be relaxed. You should make yourself ready and feel from the inside that you want to lose your sexual inhibitions, and then only will your body respond according to you. Don’t let the peer pressure or the pressure from partner get on you; you will only be able to relax if you will feel that you are relaxed. If you are able to convince yourself about it then the battle is half won.
Your Partner Your Love The next thing will be not concentrating on your sexual relationship and rather rediscovering your love for each other. This will make way for uninhibited physical relationship. Concentrate on things which you like to do with your partner, such as, going on long walks, visit to beaches, going for movies, having meals together, candlelit dinners and other such mushy romantic stuff. Remind each other of the love and care and complement each other.
Get Into It Try acting less sexually inhibited. This will slowly get on to your mind and you yourself will gradually adopt it as your nature. Dress up sexy, feel sexier, feel good about your body and flaunt it for your spouse, use perfumes which you feel are alluring and evocative, be flirtatious, smile, giggle and act like a confident person. Slowly you will feel intoxicated with passion and you will yourself feel more confident and ready for anything which comes next.
Think About It Use whatever literature you can find, which you feel is arousing. One of the major reasons can be that you never gave it a thought that what all arouses you. So give it a serious thought now and think about the act, which is the part that arouses you and when do you feel inhibited. Through this exercise you will be able to know the reason behind your inhibitions and the good thing is that you will be able to know what all you like about the act. So, from the next time, concentrate on the things which you like rather than the things you are scared of.
Communicate Your Fears Communication is the key to solving problems, so talk to your partner about the problems you face while and before the act. This way, your spouse too will gather some information about what kind of techniques he/she should use to keep your interest in the game. And this way, you will be a little more confident the next time your partner tries to dial up the intimacies. Turn-ons will evolve after mutual understandings grow.
Trust Your Partner And Be Trustworthy This means you should trust your partner in all the matters, be it social or intimate. Be sure, he/she won’t ever do a thing that will ever hurt you physically, emotionally or mentally. While discussing these sensitive matters try not to laugh or wince, even if you find out your partner’s comments ludicrous. Be supportive and understanding as these are matters which, at times, leave a scar on the psyche of a person.
If after trying everything above if you still find your sexual inhibitions stopping you from enjoying the carnal fruit then you should consult a doctor or a psychologist.
I was at a Product meetup this weekend. It was a smaller group, maybe 20 people, with 3–5 sitting at each of the round tables that had been set up in the space. When the event ended, some of us lingered and dove into a deeper discussion of the topic of the meetup. I left that night feeling so impressed by some of the people I had met.
At first, I couldn’t figure out if I was impressed because I was vibin’ with some of their opinions or if it was just because I was passionate about the topic. Regardless, I ended up figuring out what it was and the epiphany lead to this deep introspection of how I have been been getting in my own way as a Product Manager.
These people, when they spoke about past failures, confronting new challenges and things they didn’t see eye-to-eye on, were completely uninhibited.
in·hi·bi·tion — /in(h)iˈbiSH(ə)n/ — noun
- a feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way.
- a voluntary or involuntary restraint on the direct expression of an instinct.
- the action of inhibiting, restricting, or hindering a process.
Startup founders and product leaders are always talking about the importance of failing fast. I reckon that one of the obstacles keeping us from being willing to do so is our own self-consciousness, our own inhibitions. The little voices in our head saying “They are gonna think you are so dumb for bringing that up” or “What a stupid idea, don’t do that”. Inhibitions are a manifestation of one’s fear of failure.
Inhibitions turn us into somebody we are not. They keep us from saying what needs to be said and instead, push us to craft the perfect response so we look cool, intelligent or in line with what we think the people want.
When someone with inhibitions is questioned, they often take it personally. Because they are self-conscious, they get defensive.
Reactions caused by inhibition introduce bias away from reality and towards what someone arbitrarily thinks is right. These reactions, though a form of movement, are just larger detours around and away from where you need to be going.
Sometimes our inhibitions will even keep us from doing anything at all. I can think of a handful of times where I chose not to speak up/act on an idea, a problem, something that I had learned. I let myself get beat up by the 200 different excuses and reasons running through my head. When I finally decided to say or do, even if the outcome wasn’t positive, it helped propel us further down the path towards the goal we were trying to accomplish.
For all of the times where I have been crippled by self-consciousness, I have had many other experiences where I have been uninhibited. In retrospect, when I am uninhibited as a Product Manager, I:
- make decisions quicker
- have greater capacity for passion and creativity
- think bigger
- can be confident without being sure
- am more willing to try new things
- better at dismissing negative or distracting thoughts
- say what I think, even if I suspect others will disagree
- don’t care about what other people will think if I fail
- make it less about me and more about the people I am helping and the problems I am solving
- am tenaciously honest with myself
- know that failure and missing the mark are part of the process
The great news about inhibition is that we are the ones that control whether or not it is present in our lives.
What is that one problem you have been considering solving? What is that crazy idea you have been wanting to take a few days to whip a prototype up for? What is that new vertical you have been thinking about doing discovery in? What is that new tool that you know will change the game for your team? Take an inventory of all the things you have been putting off. Once you have your list, consider what has kept you from acting on each. If any have to do with inhibition you tell that inhibition “thank you”, throw it out and move forward with confidence!
It is an unfortunate fact that in numerous cases in life, the only thing holding people back is themselves. The most successful people in the world are those that exude confidence. By presenting yourself in a professional, assured manner, you are far more likely to gain the respect of your peers, leading to better career opportunities, better social lives, and more. So why should anyone hold themselves back with personal insecurities and inhibitions? Even the shyest person can change their entire life by learning to present themselves with confidence. The following steps will help you to learn to release your inhibitions and make the most out of your each and every day.
Step One: Look Your Inhibitions In The Face
The first crucial step in learning how to be a more assured, more confident person is to understand what is holding you back. Sometimes, a past negative experience can affect you even years after the incident has been forgotten. For example, a person may have at some point in the past been a completely wild and flagrant character, but after an embarrassing social experience, that person would never be caught dead performing crazy antics or parading around in sexy costumes again. Alternatively, if a person was constantly lectured as a child for being raucous or excessively talkative, then he or she might remain with an instinct to be quiet and unassuming as an adult.
Other people are able to be confident and self-assured around friends and family, but are extremely uncomfortable when speaking to strangers, executives, or other persons whom they do not know on a personal basis. This form of shyness stems from a fear of important figures’ opinions and often reflects an inner self-consciousness.
Still, for some people, their fears and inhibitions are simply the result of a birth-given nature to be shy and reserved. However, even if this is the case, there are still methods of coercing yourself to step out of your shell. The important part is that you realize that shyness is an integral part of your personality and hard work will be required in order to overcome it.
Step Two: Teach Yourself What Really Matters
After identifying your problem, it is time to confront it. Ask yourself: Why is this holding me back? Why does this matter? If a previous negative experience is causing your inhibitions, then you need to teach yourself that the past is the past. Who you are and the choices you make today are entirely different from who you used to be. There is no reason to allow past incidences to inhibit your future. It is only fear that is holding you back; to release your inhibitions and change your life, all you must do is face your fears and show yourself that the past has no bearing on who you are today.
If your reservations are directed solely towards unknown people or imposing figures, then you must present your inner fears with a good dose of sensible logic. You can only succeed in life by impressing your superiors and displaying your talents and abilities to them. How can you ever accomplish that if you are shy and unapproachable every time you encounter someone important? Additionally, when you meet strangers on the street, there is no reason why you cannot be as friendly and sociable with them as you are with your friends and family. Until you meet someone, you have no way of knowing if they are friendly or hostile, kind or unaccommodating, important or forgettable. The only way to learn is to reach out and meet people.
It is a bit harder for people who are naturally shy to confront their issues. You cannot simply identify a defect in your personality and then set about fixing it. However, by reminding yourself at regular intervals that there is no reason to hold on to your inhibitions and insecurities, you can gradually help yourself to overcome your bashfulness. This process will be difficult and can only be accomplished with time and practice.
Step Three: Practice What You Preach
Anyone can say that they are going to release all their inhibitions and turn their lives around. However, in order to truly change yourself, you must be willing to put aside all your fears and make some progress. The only way to completely eliminate your inhibitions is to force yourself around them. Practice speaking to strangers in the grocery store, or force yourself to take bold romantic steps with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. This will likely cause you to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable at first. However, with time, your true inner confidence will begin to emerge, and your former reluctance in all social situations will be a thing of the past. By releasing your inhibitions, you can create a new, happier life for yourself.
After spending eight years in post secondary education attaining an MBA, I got a job with one of America’s largest accounting firms. After working with them for over ten years, I parted amicably and started my own thing. I am now a business man in every sense of the word and try to make money any way I can. I mostly buy and sell commodities and do some consulting on the side.
Being sexually inhibited is a sexual destroyer.
You are inhibited when you rely on your partner to bring the pleasure to you. Yes, inhibited when you have unfulfilled sexual desires. You are inhibited when you want to do a different position, but you stay in the missionary position. You are inhibited when you allow childhood directives to rule your adult life, when it comes to sex.
You are sexually destroyed when you are inhibited. You are boring and dull.
Inhibitions, simply put, are sexual parameters, holding you hostage (without a gun) by unspoken words like, can’t, won’t, and don’t. In order to sexually live, you must release yourself. Free your mind, and take the sexual leap by doing what comes to your mind.
You are in control of what you can do. No need to hold back what you yearn for so deeply within. The only thing that is holding you back is pure unadulterated fear. If you tell me you have great discipline, I say, that is a crock and you know it! You are afraid! Punked by fear!
Get in that bedroom with your partner and give him/her the ride of their life. Do it tonight!
“Allow each touch to electrify your skin and your body. Allow yourself to surrender to the kiss. Feel the aggression. Respond without thinking. Release. Receive every touch and respond with every touch. Let the moan slip out and feel its vibration as it simmers in your chest. Allow the breath of that moan, to move up to your throat and let it rumble, feeling its heat….while engaging in a deep long kiss. Grab your partner in every place you can, each grab sends back the passion you feel.
Groove your body to the song. If there is no music…hum and moan…groove your bodies. Move and gyrate, slowly, and lightly at first. Kiss each other, while moaning and share in the moan you both are providing. This just may create the zone— the oneness that is so necessary to take you both to a higher sexual place you have not shared in this way before.
Allow him to gently bite, do not give instructions. Do not say the word, “no” tonight. No, not tonight. You are directing him with your sensual grabs, slow breathing, moans and movements.
All you have is here. Now. This moment. There is no tomorrow. No yesterday. There is nothing else between both of you in this place and time. Just you and her. Just him and you.
Roll over and take the top. Pause to feel the ridge of his hard maleness. It is okay to say…oooo…you actually cannot help yourself. You have 100% pure male in your bed. He is yours for the taking. He wants you to take him. The penetration. The hardness. Allow your mind to work and do what it says. It will guide you, because you have no other time to do this but now. Look him in the eye, while slowly grinning, letting him know that he is your world. Ravish him. He is a man. Treat him like one. Grab his chest. Squeeze him.
Feel the moan in your chest while holding him because you are grabbing him so hard and so close, your nipples are lost in between.
Take her. Deep. Starting slowly, enjoying her vaginal path’s layers. Take your cadillac and feel each of her bumpers Baby! Drive in deep, but not too fast. Feel her walls moisten and tighten as you look at her. Take it out. Tease her. Run your dick along her thigh. You are wet from her wanting you.
Girl, take his dick in your mouth and taste you. You should taste spicy or sweet. Either way enjoy how you taste as he enjoys you!
Take her with a deep kiss. You are tonguing her so deeply, your tongue is inside of her hitting the insides of her back.
Allow her to bite your chest. You are teasing her now. Feel her tongue tip as it circles your nipples. Tell her you like it. If she is not looking at you, grab her hair with both of your hands and tell her, “Look at me….!” Now, take her again, and this time go deep, slowly, but keep going deeper. Then hold it….right there. She is squeezing and tightening harder now. She wants the grind and so do you. Her hips are moving and she doesn’t even know it. This feels way too good. You both want this passion to hold steady and not rock it yet.
Without missing a beat, move back without her losing your dick. Pick her up. Her legs are around your waist. She is blown away from your strength in just taking her. She wants you to take her. Back her against a wall. Hit it. Hard. Do not come. Hit it again. Kiss her. She is so wet it is running down your legs now. Take her back to the bed.
Tell him “Baby, oh!” Tell her, “Oh yea, I got you. I’ve wanted to get you in this zone with me for a while now. Ride with me.” Rock her. Hold that penetration, control that dick, and make it jump, slightly while she is begging for you! Enjoy her cries, but control your mind, feel where you are inside of her. You feel that? Her wetness. You are driving her crazy. She is slapping you lightly— let her.
Girl, move up to him. You want him to take you, but you are so enjoying him. Yell if you must. Turn him over. Take him. You hard rock him. Fast, furious, don’t you come. He has to finish this…. at least tonight he does.
Turn her over. Take her in the back. That pussy is all yours. You can hit it from the front and the back. She is sweating. Lick her. Bite her.
Flip her over and go hard. Pump it. Harder…. feel her pulsating… hit it. Rock it. Do not hit it so hard you are numb to feeling her taking you. You are both in the zone and are carried away with the deliciousness both of you feel and taste tonight. Say whatever comes to your mind. You let go. Whatever you feel, say it now. You can’t say it later. You won’t say it later. Whisper in your breathy voice the first thing that comes to your mind.
You are feeling it rising… the orgasm is coming. Let out that sexy cry. Hit it. Faster… here it comes… hold it… right there. Do not tighten the muscles. Let that orgasm ride you like a wave. Surrender in that moment and let it last. She is palpitating and feeling your cum. She is trembling from her orgasm. Hold her.
Both of you share in the moment of the ride of ecstasy coming to a slow end.”
A time and space you will never have again. An experience you will enjoy in your mind for days to come.”
Release those inhibitions and take the ride of ecstasy you so well deserve and need!
The Irish Embassy, in collaboration with Athens Insider, announces its first-ever Bloomsday creative writing competition in English, open to writers of all ages and nationalities. Bloomsday is marked around the world as a celebration of James Joyce, of course, but also as a celebration of Irish literature, modernist writing and creativity. All entries must tell a story beginning and ending in one single day.
June 16 th is Bloomsday, a celebration of the life and work of Irish writer James Joyce, one of the most important writers of the 20 th Century. Joyce’s most famous book is “Ulysses”, a seminal work of modernist literature. Although the book is notoriously complex, the story is simple: it is that of one day, 16 June 1904, in the life of the central character, Leopold Bloom. 16 June 1904 was significant for Joyce as it was the day he went on his first date with Nora Barnacle, who later became his wife; nobody knows, when they wake up each morning, how important a day might become… “Ulysses” has a special connection with Greece. The events of the book loosely parallel the major sequences in Homer’s “Odyssey”.
James Joyce with his wife Nora Barnacle
Bloomsday is marked around the world as a celebration of Joyce, of course, but also as a celebration of Irish literature, modernist writing and creativity. The Embassy of Ireland in Athens, in partnership with the Athens Centre, held its first official Bloomsday celebrations in 2019, with a discussion of “Ulysses” and its history, readings, live music and rare early editions of Joyce’s works on display. This year, of course, the festivities will take a different form. It is therefore with great pleasure and excitement that the Embassy, in collaboration with Athens Insider, announces its first ever Bloomsday creative writing competition.
The premise, like that of “Ulysses”, is straightforward: all entries must tell a story beginning and ending in one single day.
A panel of distinguished writers and poets will judge the winning entry, including Theo Dorgan, the Irish poet, novelist, prose writer, documentary screenwriter, editor, translator and broadcaster with a longstanding connection to and affinity with Greece, and Haris Vlavianos, the Greek poet, academic, editor and translator (including of the Irish poet Michael Longley) and Sofka Zinovieff, best-selling author, whose books consistently feature in ‘essential reading for Greece’ lists.
The winning story will be published by Athens Insider online and in its print edition in June. Prizes will also be announced shortly.
Ever wonder why you have so much more confidence after a drink or two? Scientists believe it’s because two important parts of your brain stop “talking.”
Imagine this scenario: You’re at a party and don’t know anyone. You grab the nearest glass of wine and gulp it down. Suddenly, approaching that interesting man at the bar doesn’t seem so daunting.
Is it really liquid courage? Yes, according to a new study from researchers at the University of Illinois at Chicago College of Medicine. The researchers found that even one glass of wine is enough to interrupt communication between the amygdala and parts of the prefrontal cortex. This “breakdown of communication” might explain why our inhibitions go down after imbibing a few cocktails.
“How the amygdala and prefrontal cortex interact enables us to accurately appraise our environment and modulate our reactions to it,” said Dr. Luan Phan, a professor of psychiatry at UIC.
“Emotional processing involves both the amygdala and areas of the brain located in the prefrontal cortex responsible for cognition and modulation of behavior,” Dr. Phan said in the study, published in the journal Psychopharmacology. “This research gives us a much better idea of what is going on in the brain that leads to some of the maladaptive behaviors we see in alcohol intoxication including social disinhibition, aggression and social withdrawal.”
In the study, researchers evaluated 12 heavy social drinkers — two women and 10 men with an average age of 23 — and gave them an alcoholic beverage (at 16 percent alcohol, or a strong glass of wine) or a placebo. The participants were then shown a series of pictures of faces while researchers did a functional MRI scan. The researchers tracked the brain activity of the subjects as they tried to express the same emotions as the subjects in the pictures — happy, angry, fearful or neutral.
The researchers found that subjects who drank the alcohol “exhibited reduced connectivity between the amygdala and the orbitofrontal cortex.” T hey also noticed that those who drank the alcohol were unable to distinguish between the different emotions expressed in the pictures.
“This suggests that during acute alcohol intoxication, emotional cues that signal threat are not being processed in the brain normally because the amygdala is not responding as it should be,” Dr. Phan said.
“The amygdala and the prefrontal cortex have a dynamic, interactive relationship. If these two areas are uncoupled, as they are during acute alcohol intoxication, then our ability to assess and appropriately respond to the non-verbal message conveyed on the faces of others may be impaired.”
Basically, it means your mouth isn’t to blame when you say something stupid after a couple of drinks — it’s your brain.
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Sometimes its not the skill but the mindset, as opposed to people who are so confident but they sound horrible itвЂ™s a surprise and an irony. ThatвЂ™s because you take yourself too seriously. Here are some steps to let you shine:
1. Take Baby Steps вЂ“ start out small, taking courageous steps one at a time. It doesnвЂ™t matter how small the changes you set out to make, whatвЂ™s important is that you keep at it daily and consistently until it comes automatically to you.
For instance, you can try adding dynamics to your song. Once youвЂ™re comfortable enough, you can work on your eye contact with the audience. Next, work on how you move around the stage, and then eventually, interacting with the audience.
2. Detach Yourself from Your Voice вЂ“ the reason why most singers are so afraid to come out of their comfort zones is because they intertwine their singing performance with self-worth, self-esteem, and ego.
This is unhealthy and counterproductive because it makes you overly sensitive and touchy to criticism and feedback, which if taken objectively, could otherwise help you grow as an artist.
In addition to that, taking your singing too personally can cause you to fear failure too much that you wouldnвЂ™t be willing to go out of your comfort zone to learn new skills and try unfamiliar or harder forms of singing. You will also get discouraged much more easily if you make mistakes which shouldnвЂ™t be the case.
Think of your singing voice as a product you put out, improving it based on вЂњcustomer feedback,вЂќ constantly finding ways to improve on it without any hard feelings. You also get to have a lot more fun developing your “product” without caring so much for what other people have to say.
3. Think About What You Want to Attract вЂ“ are you familiar with the law of attraction? Inhibitions are made and broken in the mind, so the only way you can loosen them is by the power of your mind as well.
Visualize a great performance and performing your best every time. It may feel strange funny or stupid at first, but do this consistently several times a day without fail and this will soon become subconscious, a habit, as familiar as riding a bike, brushing your teeth, and taking a bath.
Remember: branch out little by little, donвЂ™t care about what other people think, and just get out there and do it like you have it! Because it soon will be and nothing can stop you.
Photo Courtesy Andreas A, Andrea Andreas A. Andrea
1. Think of the craziest or most offensive thing you could do without being put in jail for more than a week.
2. Drink enough to get thoroughly wasted.
4. Don’t leave your room the next day.
Without knowing it, that’s been my checklist for the past four years, and it has brought me the most outrageous nights (and days), widespread notoriety and either lots of people to apologize to or flip off, depending on the circumstances. Add to that the fact that I’m a bit off the mark and willing to act in excessive ways when sober as well, I have a lot of great memories – or at least stories to tell. I do not really know if this is all mentally healthy, but it works for me.
I guess I should repeat some of these hi-jinks. A good one is from abroad in London, when I decided at 4 a.m. it would be a good idea to sell two of my girl friends for various sexual favors for only five GPB, and announce it to everyone in Trafalgar Square. I was a lot more explicit then than I can be now, but rest assured the sale of the day included numbered acts. Luckily, someone offered to take them off my hands and cart them off to Brixton, but for some reason the sale didn’t go through. Of course, all of this was only after we took a 30 minute bus ride to the late-night cDonalds, and after our session with the infamous ‘shot chair’ which was in a bar located in an area of London that looks like Southeast.
There was the time that I thought it would be a good idea to throw a shopping cart off the Village A rooftop to assuage my anxiety over some girl. Yes, a metal, 300-pound shopping cart from Safeway. And yes, everyone in that stairwell came out to see me at the top of the stairs. And then there was the time my friends and I ran through a shooting of “The West Wing” and someone got locked into one of the trailers. We ran away from that scene as soon as possible.
Speaking of running, apparently I think it is a good idea to run and hide into people’s houses when I get chased by the cops for taking a picture of two girls in front of a paddy wagon and a dozen cops arresting a dozen kids. While hiding in the bathroom, I turned on the shower, because cops can’t come in if they think you are in the shower naked. And then I ran around with no shirt on because the cops are looking for “the kid with the red shirt.” Because being topless isn’t noticeable. To top that evening off, we stole food and beer from the kitchen of some kid who was annoying me. It was a lot of food and a case of beer; I wonder if they noticed?
I have come to the conclusion that the only people I really like are the ones that are just as crazy as me. As one of my friends recently suggested, perhaps the worst insult that can be thrown at a person is, “she’s nice.” If the only thing someone has to say about you is that you are nice you really must be the most boring person on earth, and that should be the eighth deadly sin.
One of the things that I really enjoy about senior year is that lots of people’s inhibitions or fake senses of decorum just flew out the window when we came to the stark reality that we are actually going to leave Georgetown sometime soon. There are few people I know that actually have a good memory of any of the senior events so far, even the ones we attended with our parents.
Honestly, though, it is not about alcohol. It is about laughter and making the most out of every moment of every day you live. Be fun. Go out. Make sure you are never bored. When another person is making a fool out of himself, don’t give a dirty look; smile approvingly. And then flip off whoever actually gives that person a dirty look.
That is pretty much it from me. Since I have such a big mouth I should have more to say, but I don’t. Perhaps if I was as much of a concise talker as I am a concise writer I wouldn’t get myself into so much trouble.
Andreas A. Andrea is a senior in the School of Foreign Service. He has served as Features Editor and Assistant News Editor.
Through acting classes? What if I’m still shy?
I think Improv class is definitely the solution for you. If you can make your way through an improv class. pretty much anything else will be a piece of cake. It’s a very safe environment that allows you to run with your imagination. It’s is definitely a stretch starting out for someone that is shy, but once you’ve completely the class, you’ll feel like a whole new person.
I’m unsure whether you’re asking how to gain confidence as a performer through or whether you gain confidence for every day by doing some acting classes so I guess I’ll answer both.
In my experience, the best (though admittedly a little scary) way to gain confidence is to just get out there and do it. Do a role that sticks you just a liiiittle bit outside your comfort zone and then, when you are successful in that, you’ll get a little confidence boost. You’ll know that there’s something else you can do.
If you’re asking whether you can gain confidence for every day life through acting classes then I’d say it’s sort of a matter of suck it and see. I used to be a very reclusive child and I started going to a drama class once a week and for the first few weeks, I hated it but my mum made me give it one month. By the end of that month, I was hooked and now I’m studying for my first degree in performing arts. I’m a very sociable person and you can’t shut me up.
In answer to both questions, going to an acting class, I feel, should only benefit you. If you go as an aspiring actor, then I’m sure you will learn something which is what you need to keep doing. Gotta keep on top of the game in this trade.
And if you go as someone uninterested in being an actor and just wanting a little more confidence, then I think you should be able to get that too.
Best of luck and I hope this helps.
I am quite shy in social situations. But when I get on stage, I “lose myself in the role” (Cliched but true).
I know when I get up there, it’s not me the audience is going to be judging, it’s my character. As long as I know that I’m saying my lines realistically and basically doing everything well (that takes acting classes though), I no longer have any inhibitions and I’m no longer concerned of what people will think of ME and MY skills.
Ultimately, you just have to KNOW you’re good. Pretty daunting, but (unless you’re that 3% of the world’s population with nerves of steel) that’s the way to give a great performance.
Boy, there was a period in my life when I was terribly inhibited around strangers and even friends. I would worry about how everybody perceived me, how I looked, acted and especially what I said. Even at parties or in clubs, bars or gatherings, outings and events, I obsessed about behaving “correctly”. When others let loose and went crazy, danced, sang and jumped around, I would freeze up. Guess how good I was with women? I sucked.
So when I started learning about seduction and “game”, one of my biggest challenges was to break down my psychological barriers. Let me share how I did it: this is how you can overcome your inhibitions and rid yourself of your approach anxiety so you can live a better life.
How did it use to be?
See, in my childhood and youth, I would easily let down my guard among friends and go crazy. We did whatever silly stuff we came up with: sing, play pranks, make funny faces and voices. Mostly, we made our humour physical: high-fiving, silly movements or gestures. And we made noises: at the movies, when the 20th Century Fox jingle came on, we would mimic its sound and “sing along”, we would all baa like sheep as we walked down the streets, or change our voices so we sounded like Kermit the Frog.
Just like me, you didn’t always have these barriers blocking you from your goofiness. How do I know? My friend, you were a kid once, too. Social conditioning, however, entered your brain and taught you to be reasonable, respectable, presentable, acceptable – a vegetable! Now, sit down and think of the crazy things you used to do way back when. Remember them with all your senses. Relive them.
Did you think rationally in those days?
Goodbye brain, hello gut
So guess what, I want you to pack your bags and move out of your brain. Say hello to gut avenue! This is where you will live from now on.
If you observe your body, you will find that your emotional responses originate in your gut, not your brain (okay, biologically they do, but your gut is where you perceive them). When you laugh deeply and heartily, what happens in your body? Love, fear, pleasure, anger, excitement, arousal – all these emotions, and more, live in there! I want you to become very aware of that. Here’s how.
Get into your body
Focus on your breathing – consciously breathe in and out – and let it take you into your body. Follow the air as it as it permeates you. Imagine where it goes, and what kinds of emotions come from these places. Your mind will come in with its rational chatter, but turn your attention back to your body as soon as you become aware of it (it’s sneaky, it tiptoes in and takes you away). Do this exercise multiple times every day. Observe how it affects your experience of life.
Now, we humans communicate a lot on an emotional level, but most of us are not aware of that – we have been taken over by the thinking mind so much that we have a hard time realizing what else is happening, let alone taking control of it.
To break down your inhibitions, I want you to start acting with your body more, and cut down on words. No more abstract thinking, more concrete action.
Communicate and entertain with your body
I’d like to introduce you to two exercises you can do as you go about your everyday life:
What to say? No, what to do!
How often do you find yourself wondering what to say in a particular situation? Next time you’re in a similar situation, listen to what your gut says, and act – not speak – accordingly. Trust me, words will come. Man invented language as a code to communicate their states and emotions to each other, remember? That’s what you’ll automatically do when you listen to your gut first.
As few words as possible
The next exercise will help you to realize that words aren’t even “necessary” to communicate. I’d like you to cut down on your word ratio as much as possible as you interact with people. Instead, address them with looks, gestures, facial expressions, moves, postures. Don’t be afraid to make them funny – subtly at first, more open as you get more confident.
As above, work on these two consciously and constantly. You’ll be amazed at the things you come up with.
These are some of the most important steps to overcome your strongest inhibitions. The most important thing is to move from your brain into your gut, and follow whatever happens in there. Let the situation carry you away, and you’ll slowly reconnect with your own human essence – the part in you that pulsates with life. We have exhausted the scope of this article, but keep checking this space – there’s more to say, and we’ll be back with “Physical humor” soon!
How do you lose your inhibitions without the use of alcohol?
I dont drink anymore and I’m having a hard time losing my inhibitions and being myself without the use of beer. I used to do stand up comedy and could bring the whole club down but that was when I would drink. I know I still got it, but I dont know how to bring it out without the use of alcohol. How can I lose the worrying of what others think and just do what I want to do?
It’s all in your head.
A substance isn’t going to change that.
Realizing that will make you far more powerful.
It’s all in your head.
A substance isn’t going to change that.
Realizing that will make you far more powerful.
thats good advice. it’s still hard to be as creative when i’m sober. what are some ways to boost creativity?
man, i go through the same feeling as well sometimes.
sometimes i think i could of said something a lot more funnier, or done something even more crazier if i were drunk or high, rather than sober.
then rep me
Get out and do more. That way you’ll have more to talk about.
Not JUST a high post count. Comes with QUALITY posts.
a sativa strain of weed will make you lose your inhibitions like alcohol, yet will keep you from saying or doing a lot of stupid stuff you do when drunk. try some cinnamon, jack herror, purple haze, etc. and you will make a LOT of new friends cause you will be funny as hell (and not in a stupid way necesarrilly)
but if you dont do that, just try to realize its all in your head.
BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage
If you are sexually inhibited, I have my theories as to why.
I don’t know you personally, but if you find it challenging to enjoy sex with your husband, not to mention pursue it often with abandon, I’m thinking it might be because of one or more of the below 5 reasons.
1. You’re afraid you will lose control.
Out of sheer necessity, we as women spend a lot of time trying to keep the chaos (otherwise known as “our life”) from spinning out of control. Oh, what with the 18,900 details we must choreograph on any given day.
At any moment, you feel like it all is a house of cards that is teetering precariously close to an abyss from which you aren’t overly confident you could ever recover.
There’d be no milk in the house. The children would be running amok. You’ll never know what’s for dinner. You’ll have missed all the important deadlines at work. Your email in box will have gone rogue on you. The dog will go days without being fed.
It can be daunting to imagine giving yourself over completely to sexual connection that is not contrived, choreographed and controlled.
Yet, that’s where you need to go girlfriend.
You need to go there with the guy who stood next to you at the altar. You promised to give yourselves up to each other — to intimately surrender your whole self to each other. That’s a messy out-of-control endeavor, I know.
But when you as a wife loosen your grip and discover true enjoyment of sexual intimacy, you likely will discover that being uninhibited sexually gives you more steadiness in the rest of your life. Ironic. But true.
2. He has neglected you and/or betrayed you.
There’s no way I’m going to minimize or trivialize the deep pain in this one.
No one really wants to become completely vulnerable (sexually and otherwise) with the person who has deeply wounded them. I am not naive to the ways such woundedness shows up, whether it be another woman or pornography or blatant neglect on too many levels to count.
Yet, if you are still married, you can’t skirt around this issue of sex.
I don’t know your circumstances, but I do know God is a redemptive God. If your husband has repented of his infliction of pain on you, then do all you can to seek healing in your entire relationship, including your sexual relationship.
If he refuses to humbly turn from his sin, seek the support and counsel of mature sisters in Christ who can guide you on how to navigate, including any heart wrenching choices.
3. You associate sexual pleasure with sin.
If your single days were also your sexual promiscuity days, then you possibly only associate sexual pleasure with sin. Not surprisingly, that can be one heck of a mental block to overcome when you are in the one place where sex is not a sin. In your marriage with your husband.
I have had more than one woman confide in me that she can’t forgive herself not only for the sexual promiscuity with men before her husband, but also for the sexual promiscuity with her husband before they were married.
Your past sexual sin is not beyond the blood of Jesus.
And maybe promiscuity has nothing to do with why you think sex is always sinful. Skewed theology and icky comments from well-meaning Christians have often taken their toll on Christian girls. Were you told sex is always wrong (even though it’s not wrong in marriage!)… or that it’s gross… or that it’s merely your duty as a wife? I’m sorry, but you were lied to.
If you cling to the lie that sexual pleasure is sin, you sabotage nearly all possibilities for sexual pleasure with the man you married.
4. You are confused about Christian modesty.
It’s the mental gymnastics of, “How do I carry myself modestly outside the bedroom… and then get wild beneath the sheets in the bedroom?” Many Christian women struggle with this. Many.
This confusion about Christian modesty mingles closely with the idea that sexual pleasure is sinful.
Yes, God does want you to carry yourself modestly in most circumstances. But nowhere — I mean, nowhere — in His Word does He command you to be sexually repressed and modest with your husband.
If anything, the book of Song of Songs, as well as verses in Proverbs and other books of the Bible, support and encourage sexual fervor, passion and freedom between a husband and wife.
5. You’ve never had an orgasm.
It’s difficult to be uninhibited when nothing really has pushed you over the edge pleasure-wise. Sexual pleasure is indescribable. I can say that because I’ve had unfathomably amazing orgasms.
If you’ve never had an orgasm — or you have incredible difficulty having them — there is hope. I know it doesn’t feel like it, especially if you’ve been married a long time and maybe have even been faking orgasm — rather than enjoying the real deal.
As I have often said, the clitoris serves no other purpose but sexual pleasure in a woman. But I admit, the thing can be a bit finicky. Not quite as predictable as the penis. Yet God created sexual pleasure for both a husband and a wife, so you can bet He cares greatly about you experiencing it.
Some of my past posts may be helpful if you are trying to become more orgasmic. I’ve written about orgasm here , here , here , here , here and here .
If you are sexually inhibited, you don’t have to allow inhibition to reign over sex in your marriage any more. Get courageous. Take steps that will help nurture intimacy with your husband.
Two practical suggestions:
One, study God’s Word and what it says about sex. Go to the Author of sex to grasp all it can be in your marriage.
Two, ask your husband to spend extra time during foreplay caressing your entire body with a variety of touches. Focus on his touch. Focus on the way you’ll likely become wet. Relax and remind yourself that the arousal you feel throughout your body is exactly what God envisioned for you as a wife.
The below posts may also give you some ideas…
Copyright 2013, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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Shaheen Lakhan, MD, PhD, is an award-winning, board-certified physician-scientist and clinical development specialist.
Dementia affects people in many ways. Some of the most obvious symptoms are often those that relate to memory, communication, and decision-making. But, other symptoms of dementia seem to fall more into the category of personality and behavior.
In a healthy person, the brain usually has a function where it inhibits, (stops or modifies) certain behaviors or words from being conducted or said. For example, you might be angry with your boss, but if you’re wise, you will probably withhold some of the things you may be thinking as you’re talking with her. Or, you might find someone attractive, but because you know he is married, you stop yourself from acting on an impulse to touch that person.
How Does Dementia Affect Inhibitions?
Dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia, can decrease inhibitions and the ability to control impulses. This decrease in inhibitions develops in most types of dementia but is an especially common description of behavior in frontotemporal dementia. A lack of inhibition often affects both communication (verbal and non-verbal) and behavior.
A Lack of Inhibitions in Communication
You might notice someone with dementia become very careless with what they say about others or you. She may be unkind, blunt, rude, or even vulgar and crude in her language. Non-verbally, a person with decreased inhibitions might mimic those around him or display facial expressions such as rolling of the eyes.
Rarely, family members report that their loved one with dementia actually becomes more outgoing and friendly than they used to be due to a lack of inhibition.
A Lack of Inhibition in Behavior
A lack of inhibitions in behavior can result in several challenges, including combativeness with care, removing clothing (either with or without the intention to display themselves), attempts to inappropriately touch someone, and reaching out and hitting a passerby despite the lack of any identifiable trigger.
Coping With a Lack of Inhibitions
Remember that a person with dementia did not choose this disease, so try not to cast blame his way. Assume that he is not able to control his behavior or words and that the dementia is the cause of his behavior. Reminding yourself of this can encourage you to react to a patient or loved one with compassion and understanding instead of irritation and frustration.
5 Steps to Build Self-Confidence and Lose Your Inhibitions
Inhibitions are not just a part of growing up but can be a part of a grown up as well and it is never too early nor ever too late to overcome them. Our psyche is dominated by this fear of being judged and it is important to understand that judgement is just that. It is what someone else would rather believe about you, not who you are. Build self-confidence by thinking about what you think about yourself and not what others think of you.
Making mistakes and learning from them is a cardinal part of living (something you cannot escape) and inhibitions prevent you from it for fear of being mocked, laughed at or being wrong. But isn’t it better to have a voice that is sometimes wrong than not have a voice at all?
For the longest time I reveled in being a part of the crowd until I was thrown in the middle and had to learn to swim. Of course I made (still make) mistakes but they only made me want to get better and take it from someone who has experienced it, the destination is worth the journey. Build self-confidence by following the following tips:
Breathe in and breathe out. Clear your head of all other voices and let yours take command. Your voice is the only one that matters. Now focus all your thoughts on the matter at hand. It’s always good to imagine in your head the whole act and then on stage improvise. Also meditation is your best friend, if you want to calm your nerves, because the whole idea there is to focus on your breathing and in turn focus on your thoughts.
Believe that you can
It is integral that you have faith in yourself, your voice, your opinion only then will you find the confidence to let it be heard. You see fear is normal, no one is immune to it but you have to get past it, look at the other side of the page. It is also extremely important to experiment, to explore out of your comfort zone. Put yourself out there it doesn’t matter if you fail, just remember no experience ever goes to waste.
Let the child in you take over
Remember being a child when you were too curious to care. It didn’t matter that you might get hurt or fall, it was all worth the experience of trying something new. Bring that child forth. Keep your mind open to new challenges, never be afraid of a fall, get right back up and let your imagination know no bounds.
Build self-confidence by thinking about yourself. We spend our entire life thinking about what the world will think about our actions and this stops us from so many things. It is very important thus to accept yourself then only can you expect people to accept you. Be comfortable in your skin. Also accept your mistakes, learn to laugh at them, acknowledge them, work on them but never take them too seriously, don’t let them stop you from making new ones.
Let it go
Lose control, let your imagination take charge and stop at nothing not fear or shyness or awkwardness. Flow free along with your inner voice. Keep going, there is no better teacher than experience and always remember practice makes perfect, so keep working on yourself.
Are you or is someone you know a “dad-dancer”?
BBC Strictly Come Dancing male pros give their tips on how to lose those dance inhibitions. 🕺
If you’ve got a dad-dancing video, send it to: [email protected]
Mariusz thought it was going to be just another ‘metal detecting Sunday.’
He had no idea he would find a hoard of Bronze Age artefacts ⬇️
Little White and Little Grey used to perform for the public in China. 🐋
Now they’ve got a life-long home in an open water sanctury 💕
Scientists say it could be a game changer.
Testing on people with coronavirus has begun with a steroid that is used for asthma patients ⤵️
Wales is beginning to reopen. It is the first nation to open indoor play areas for children. 🏴
‘This has been within the space of 6 weeks. It’s extraordinary.’
Since the Black Lives Matter protests a number of black British businesses have seen remarkable sales increases. ⤵️
“I want to protect the environment and make the world a better place.”
7-year-old Lucas wanted to spend his summer exploring with his scout group. Instead, he’s got a litter picker and cleaned up his local park. ♻️
A new category of fractional skin treatments
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Less affected tissue surrounding the matrix points may be stimulated by heat, which helps accelerate the healing process and leads to improvement of acne scars, striae and tone irregularities for a smoother, rejuvenated appearance of the skin.
Sublative Treatment Advantages
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- by Lee Meyer Mon 8th Apr 2013
The upcoming Wii U eShop party game Spin The Bottle is unlike any game you’ve ever played before. Coming from the quirky minds at KnapNok Games, most of the activities you’ll encounter in Spin The Bottle don’t even use a TV screen. Players use the GamePad as a spinning wheel (think Twister) and act out whatever odd activity they’re prompted to perform. KnapNok recently previewed Spin The Bottle at the Official Independent Drinking Games Summit, an event organized by the experimental game development circle, the Copenhagen Game Collective.
While titles that have emerged from the Copenhagen Game Collective don’t typically lend themselves to mainstream release, Spin The Bottle is decidedly innocent, with the only awkwardness coming from the players’ actual experiences playing. Older players will likely enjoy the game after loosening up a bit. Dajana Dimovska, co-founder of KnapNok Games, explains the developer’s design philosophy to Eurogamer:
If nudity or this physical closeness were considered a sexual thing it would just not happen. Because then it’s a different setting. It’s not like ‘oh, I’m naked I want to have sex with someone.’ That’s not the case at all. ‘I’m naked. I’m having fun,’ is the approach.
This isn’t to say that Spin The Bottle involves nudity. Despite showcasing the game at a “Drinking Games Summit,” Spin The Bottle can be enjoyed by any age group. One of the minigames, “Hide the Monkey,” involves two players each hiding a Wii Remote behind their backs and the others trying to guess who has it, with a bonus challenge allowing players to tickle the players who are holding the Wii Remotes.
Spin The Bottle is definitely shaping up to be one of the most unique offerings on the Wii U. Are you planning on trying out this wacky party game? Let us know in the comments section.
Office Christmas parties can be the highlight of the work social calendar – or minefields for the unwary. So how can you make sure you have a great time without getting yourself in any trouble? Employment lawyer Richard Coulthard explains.
Many law firm employees and partners look forward to the festive season as a way to get to know colleagues in a social environment. But to others, the office Christmas party conjures images of uncomfortable ‘secret Santas’ and drunk colleagues being escorted off the premises after overindulging!
So how can you make sure you enjoy your Christmas party but don’t fall into any of the potential traps for the unwary?
1. Turn up
Although the office party is optional, it’s definitely a good idea to make an appearance. You may dread the thought of spending the evening with people you spend every day with, but your attendance shows you are part of the team.
2. Look the part
The venue or the organisers may determine the dress code – make sure you know what it is and stick to it. If you are worried, ask colleagues what they’ll be wearing. The office party may not be the place to wear that slinky black dress or the unbuttoned / overtight shirt!
Use the party as a networking opportunity – talk to people you wouldn’t normally come across. Don’t leave people standing on their own: no matter how much you want to get rid of someone, it is impolite to leave them on their own. Pair them off with someone else before you make your escape.
Avoid talking about work, and especially about things that really shouldn’t be talked about outside the office, like promotions or pay rises. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say on a normal day. The party is your chance to get to know people and make a good impression.
4. Know your limits
People often see the office party as a chance to take advantage of the free booze and food, but excessive drinking is the number one cause of ‘incidents’. By all means let your hair down, but remember you are still being watched and judged by your superiors. You are still accountable for your actions. Even though it’s an informal party, it counts as an extension of the workplace (and your employment).
Use the office party as a chance to present yourself in the best possible light, as opposed to getting trollied. Even if your boss decides to, it doesn’t mean it’s acceptable for you to do follow suit! The party is a marathon, not a sprint – you may have a long evening ahead of you. Know your limit and stick to it.
There might be someone who takes it to the extreme – and this will be noticed by the vast majority of staff. Do you want to be the person sheepishly going into work on Monday who can’t remember what they did (that everyone is talking about)?
5. Rise above it
The combination of office gossip and alcohol is almost never going to end well. The result of gossip or rumours may be a colleague feeling bullied or victimised. And avoid confessing any sins to your colleagues after one too many!
6. Stay professional
Before you make a beeline for the person you’ve had your eye on all year, do yourself a favour: stop and think whether it’s a good idea. ‘Probably not’ is the likely answer. Avoid the temptation to start talking to that person anywhere near some mistletoe…
7. Stick it out
In most cases, a lot of time and energy has been spent planning the Christmas party. Always stay for a reasonable amount of time, especially if there is a sit-down dinner. Leaving early may look unappreciative or antisocial.
8. Have fun
Above all, enjoy yourself! Yes, you should strive to be remembered for the right reasons, but the office party is also the ideal place to let your hair down and unwind after what’s most likely been a stressful year of work.
TABOO’s sole survivor keeps the art collective’s button-pushing agenda alive
Grieving seems like the last thing on artist Larry Jens Anderson’s mind today. Standing in the scrupulously designed kitchen of his Morningside house, Anderson ends almost every sentence with an infectious chortle.
As he talks about his days with the art collective TABOO, you get a sense of the naughty, inventive, button-pushing esprit de corps that guided its many projects.
How can Anderson be sad at his status as the last surviving member of TABOO, whose members succumbed to AIDS and other health issues, when his time with the group was so damn fun?
TABOO was the love child of four men, Anderson, David Fraley, King Thackston and Michael Venezia, who came together in 1987 to share their frustration at the politically correct lockstep of an art world whose self-righteous piety can often rival evangelical Christianity’s. The TABOO boys were determined to puncture such pomposity.
Like the “Little Rascals” – if the Little Rascals had been gay artists with a wicked sense of humor – the fellas decided to put on a show.
In fact, they put on many.
Over a 12-year span, TABOO curated exhibitions at seemingly every art venue in the city, always with the intent of challenging the conventions of the art world and forcing artists to step out on a limb.
“We’d always been intrigued by the word ‘taboo’ because things can be so sacred, they become taboo and you can’t touch them . and things can be so evil, they’re taboo. So you can go both ways, and we were always interested in that collision of ideas,” says Anderson.
Artists clamored to get into the shows, and audiences – despite the initial shock at subject matter addressing race, sexuality, Christianity and irreverence of all stripes – were quickly won over by the group’s sense of humor.
Representative of that trouble-making spirit was a sensational, feather-ruffling show that the group curated to coincide with the 1996 Olympics: Gone with the Wind: The Fabrication and Denial of Southern Identity.
One of the highlights was TABOO member Thackston’s meticulously realized model railroad replica of an idealized Southern town. The Lilliputian fantasy was perfect: tiny people, adorable buildings, the soothing blend of nostalgia and comfort of a world rendered in idealized miniature. Except that if you peered more closely, you’d notice the itty-bitty lynching and the picket line that goosed the Norman Rockwell ambiance.
With a spirit of playful inventiveness reminiscent of art movements from the Dadaists to the Situationists, the group extended its lampoon of art-world piety beyond its provocatively themed shows. TABOO became a brand. They sold T-shirts at shows that advocated “Buy Art, Not Drugs,” helping to raise money for the next show. They placed ads in Art Papers magazine offering ideas for sale.
“No one wrote us back,” Anderson laughs.
And they challenged the High Museum’s exhibition department to a bowling match. The winning team would receive a dementedly outré trophy designed by TABOO. At its pinnacle is a perky rubber ducky.
That trophy, along with numerous mementoes, ephemera and artworks made by TABOO, will be on display in The Last TABOO, a historical retrospective of the group curated by Anderson at the Museum of Contemporary Art of Georgia through July 9.
Along with that survey of TABOO work will be a separate exhibition of new work featuring various artists examining – in typically provocative TABOO fashion – ideas that still have the power to shock. According to Anderson, masturbation, copulating elephants, Michael Jackson jokes and homosexuality will be included in the shock-banquet.
Anderson feels a duty not only to have The Last TABOO raise the shock bar, but also pay tribute to the artists who made the group what it was.
“I can embarrass myself, but they’re dead.
“There’s this thing inside of me that wants to make sure I do the group justice.”
Accept Your Sexuality Hypnosis Script
It’s quite hard to to grow up feeling that how you are, who you are seems to be ‘unacceptable‘ to others that are around you. It’s hard to grow up feeling guilty or even ashamed about what you are. As if you had any choice of who you are and could have chosen to be a different person.
So people that discover as they are growing up that their sexual orientation and desires do not fall into the ‘approved‘ category can go through a great deal of suffering.
So how can a person learn how to be themselves and accept who they are, just as everyone else is entitled to do so?
The Accept Your Sexuality Hypnosis Script has been specifically developed to help people get away from the grip of the prejudice that they constantly encounter and to be able to accept themselves as being a full human, no matter what their circumstances may be.
As your client relaxes and listens they will experience some very profound changes taking place within them. They will notice that:
- they will enjoy life so much more
- feel a huge burden lifted off of their shoulders
- feel a profound lessening of tension in their lives
- dealing with other people’s attitudes will be met with calm self-assured confidence
Subtle, metaphor packed indirect hypnosis scripts, with pre-hypnosis chat, created by professional hypnotherapy experts. As with all of our downloads, The Accept Your Sexuality Hypnosis Script uses the very latest hypnotic techniques and advanced indirect hypnotic language. Our hypnosis scripts can also be used to learn hypnosis, or for use with your own clientele. With over 800 hypnosis scripts to choose from, we make it possible for you to help your clients with just about every type of problems they may be experiencing.
The Accept Your Sexuality Hypnosis Script has been professionally annotated and edited with suggestions for rhythm, timing, and emphasis. All of the hypnosis scripts from our script collection have been prepared in Adobe Acrobat ( PDF ) format which makes them very easy to read and to print out. The Adobe Acrobat program is usually already installed on any modern Mac or PC. The Accept Your Sexuality Hypnosis Script also has a corresponding Hypnosis MP3 Audio Download which can be used to help you give a more professional and effective presentation to your own clients.