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How to write a love letter

Last Updated On June 27, 2018 By Letter Writing Leave a Comment

A love letter is used to express emotions and love one feels for someone else in simple yet convincing words. The sender pours his/her heart out with the hope that the other person acknowledges the love and reciprocates it similarly. The choice of words for a love letter is crucial since the passionate feelings should be expressed subtly. Since it is a love letter, make sure not to be sharp or curt. The recipient could be an acquaintance, friend or a person with whom the sender has never spoken to before. A love letter is only written in a case when a person is unable to confront his/her partner while confessing his/her love.

Love letters are a meaningful way of expressing your emotions for the one that you love. This must be something sincere, authentic, and hand written for this will add something to it. If you think it is not possible for you to write a love letter on your own then follow love letter format and impress your partner. Love letter writing tips have been mentioned below.

Table of Contents

Love Letter Format Writing Tips

  • Start by confessing your love for her/him. Explain in brief about how you feel for her/him.
  • Request her/him to accept your love.
  • End by hoping that she/he feels the same for you and mention that you will wait for a positive reply.
  • Also, try to convince her/him that you love her/him.

Love Letter Format Template

Use our free Love Letter Format to help you get started.

Date ___________ (mention the date on which the letter is written)

Dear __________, (recipient’s name)

I am writing this letter since I am unable to muster up the courage to speak my heart out in person. I wanted to tell you that I am madly in love with you.

(Explain in brief about how you feel and convince her/him that you love her/him)….. I have not been able to take my thoughts off you for a single minute. My courage seems to fail me when I am with you, and so this is the reason I am writing this letter to you.

I am stumped by your charm, grace, and personality (mention any other qualities).

Please accept my love for you and let me know if you also feel the same for me. I shall eagerly wait for an early and positive reply.

Your admirer and lover,

_________ (your name)

Sample Letter

Date- 27th February 2016

I am writing this letter since I am unable to muster up the courage to speak my heart out in person even though we meet every day at work. I wanted to tell you that I am madly in love with you.

We studied in the same college and now, we work in the same organization. I have gotten to know you better, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I have never been able to take my thoughts off you for a single minute.

I am stumped by your charm, grace, and personality. I think about ways and means of meeting you to be close to you. My heart races when you even sit beside me. I can not stop gazing at you when you brush your flicks aside or give me that fleeting smile.

We are good friends as of now. But I want to take our friendship a step ahead. Please accept my love for you and let me know if you also feel the same for me. I shall eagerly wait for an early and positive reply.

Your admirer and lover,

Email Format

The following is the Email Format that should be followed while writing a Love Letter.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Love Letter.

To my love/ Dear ______(Name of the recipient)

Every time they mention your name, it feels a whisper in my ear, and a great emotion stirs up in my whole being. This feeling that I never felt before and I had never felt for anyone or any other, this is a feeling that I cannot ignore. My love, believe me when I tell you that you are the girl of my dreams and the girl that I long to call ‘mine.’ When I stare at you, and you stare back at me, I know that you are mine and I will be crazy losing you. You have touched my life, my soul, and my whole being. Your kindness, your care, and your love are so magnetic. Annie, I love you.

How to write a love letter

A long time ago, when I was living in my favorite apartment behind a bamboo patch in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, I wrote my first love letter. I can’t remember what I was feeling, but it was big and it felt real. It was a liquid hot afternoon, and I was sitting on my screened porch, enjoying my boredom, thinking that I was full up with the very thought of her. I drew a pretty cool heart on a piece of newsprint, rolled that into a manual typewriter, and then pecked out about fifteen sentences. I took more than an hour. It had to. I couldn’t edit, and I couldn’t use White-Out. It worked, too. That woman was happy.

So happy she stuck it on the door of her refrigerator, where it clung to a magnet-laden collage of birthday cards, Easter cards, Thinking-of-You cards. This irked me. Every time I went in there I took my letter down. She thought I was embarrassed, but the truth is, I hated that cheap watercolor sea of candles and rabbits. “It’s a love letter,” I told her. “It’s only for you. You’re supposed to save it. It’s supposed to be folded up in a book somewhere.” She didn’t get it. She treated it like a card, and that — along with smears of mayonnaise and weeks of sunlight blazing through the kitchen window — voided the letter for me altogether.

It should be pretty obvious that you don’t buy a love letter on Aisle 7 of the Piggly Wiggly. Leave the greeting cards on the rack. If what you want is a sentiment that you can buy, then what you’re feeling might not be love.

When it comes to writing a love letter, remember: it’s not a card. It’s a letter.

First, sit. Letters take time. Letters have a rhythm. There are no bullet points. No clipping and pasting. Letters must be written, and writing takes a while. Three lines can’t do the work of three paragraphs. This is not to say your letter must be long. Length complicates things. Three paragraphs can do the work of three pages. Just give them some time.

Don’t try to put the emotion itself in words. Better writers have tried. And do yourself a favor: don’t quote those writers. Say it yourself. You owe that much to the occasion of love.

Remember, the purpose of a love letter is to acknowledge. You’re creating a record of the previous four months, or two weeks, or that day or the very moment in which you find yourself. You acknowledge the object of your love, and you make that person feel seen.

Be loyal to the past you share. If your love emerged on a kayak trip, then you don’t just mention that experience, you make it. Use your memory. Let the river — the docks, the boats, the rocky shore — become your palette. Tell a story, one that only the two of you know. Or try narrating a moment in which she was unaware that you were watching her. Use detail to show what you remember and that you remember.

A good love letter declares itself plainly, then illustrates particularly. Let the example precede sentiment. “I saw you watching the men play chess in the park. So quiet. I love the way you look at things.” Show her what you love in her before you tell her what you love in her. Show, then tell.

Don’t work to be overly genuine. Be clear. Earnestness is cheap. Too much of it throws off the alchemy of expression. Don’t feel obligated to wind up a spool of honesty. Clarity works better.

Don’t repeat yourself. Emotional declarations matter more if you make them one at a time, space them a little. Even in a short letter, you must create room. With love, there’s value in scarcity. That’s why it feels like such a jackpot.

Most of all, remember that it’s private, and therefore it can bear some risk. In this way most, a love letter is like love itself. There must be risk. Say something, name something, tell something that surprises you about yourself. Let her know that she is redefining your terms.

And be sure she knows that one of your terms is that it’s not a card, not a collectible, not something for the fridge. Tell her you expect she’ll keep it somewhere so that one day she finds it in a book, or a drawer somewhere. Maybe you’ll be in the next room then. Maybe not. If you’ve done your job with the letter, then, as now, she will believe you.

How to write a love letter Many women yearn for the simpler, romantic days when Love Letters were the best form of communicating feelings to another. As a young girl I remember writing love letters to the little boys in my class I had crushes on in my diary. The love letter is a universal and wonderful way to let your significant other you really care. In a world of text messaging, email, and social networking, the letter is not a prominent use of communication.

Getting a pen and paper out to write to someone is becoming an archaic and foreign activity. Bring this activity back by writing your significant other a letter containing your devotion. These romantic ideas will surely not go unnoticed with your partner. If you would rather not stick with the cliché, try these ideas that will put a fun twist on your letter.

Creative Ways to Write a Love Letter

Audio Love Letter

How to write a love letter Pieces of paper are easy to lose in the mail, pockets of pants, purses, and anywhere else. You don’t want to risk your lover losing your letter that you so thoughtfully wrote out. If this is your worry, try compiling an audio version of your letter. If you are nervous about what to say, write your love messages before you begin recording and read it off instead. After you are done recording, put the tape in a decorative gift box and surprise your partner with it. Not only will you be able to tell them how much you love them, but they will be able to hear it too!

Message in a Bottle, Love letter in a Bottle

How to write a love letter This idea is perfect for couples in a long-distance relationship. Being away from that special person can be difficult. Lessen the distance between you and your partner by sending them a message in bottle. If you don’t want to spend the money on a glass bottle, use a washed out water or soda bottle. Both will fulfill the purpose. On a sheet of paper write out your feelings, roll them up, and stick them in the bottle! Package it carefully if your message is in a glass bottle and send it off to your loved one. image: .gettingpersonalblog.co.uk

Secret Admirer

If you aren’t involved in romantic relationship just yet but are itching to send a love letter, try this idea on someone you have your eye on. Type your love letter out on a computer or typewriter to disguise you handwriting. Make sure that you include hints about who you are. This will make it easier to disclose your feelings to someone without the pressure of them being there. Your love messages can also be in a form of love quotes.. Have a friend hand-deliver the note or leave it on their doorstep with chocolate or flowers.

Scavenger Hunt

Who says your letter has to be contained on one piece of paper? Send your lover on a hunt through the house for the final letter and lead up to it with a bunch of smaller letters. Include clues on where the next letter is hidden leading up to the final one. You can start with a placing the first one on their favorite chair, their toothbrush, or computer desk and send them running around the house in anticipation. After the final clue, leave the letter in a special place with a romantic gift.

This is perfect for either a guy or girl. Buy as many flowers as your lover has in their name. Although girls usually are the ones who love flowers, guys definitely appreciate the romantic gesture of flowers as well. Start by writing notes that correspond to the letters in your partner’s name. For example, “M= my love. You will never be without it.” Tie each note to the stem of each flower. This can be a perfect anniversary gift or Valentine’s Day gift.

If your love cannot be contained in a small envelope, try a bigger one! Write a normal love letter and bring it to your local office supply store. Have them blow it up into a larger version. You will probably have to make your own envelope to put it in. Try doing this out of a large sheet of butcher paper and closing it with tape. If you want to go all the way, take an image of a stamp with you when you go get your letter enlarged. Have them enlarge this image too. Glue it on the front of your envelope where a normal stamp goes and address the envelope to them.

Love letters should not just be for perfect occasions. If your partner is feeling down or if you feel like you want to proclaim your love, then a love letter is the perfect option. This can also be a good way to start to make him fall for you. You never know when your partner will want to be reminded of your love for them. Looking back at your letter will allow them to feel loved by you continually.

How to write a love letter

The most polished victorian letter writer may very well wish to have a little extra help when he or she is writing a loveletter. In victorian times, there were several letter writing manuals for this very purpose. The Lover’s Letter Writer offered advice on correct letter writing for every stage of a relationship (acquaintance, business, friendship, courtship, and marriage) and 66 example letters to suit every imaginable social need. The Lover’s Casket was designed to aid even the most faint-hearted suitor in writing a romantic love letter. The Mystery of Love, Courtship and Marriage Explained (1890) also contained much useful advice, even sample letters to suit your special circumstances. Not having these particular manuals anymore, perhaps you will find this article a sufficient substitute.

A love victorian letter should be written with dignity and express sincere esteem and affection. If your epistle should fall into wrong hands, you would not wish to embarrass your beloved.

Unfortunately, laying down rules for writing love letters is nearly impossible. And it can be difficult. Some young gentlemen overdo their task and render themselves ridiculous. This may be especially possible during engagement, as engaged young ladies may find too much sugar in the letter repulsive. So, avoid putting too many honeyed adjectives in your letters and, as a rule of thumb, do not repeat endearing terms. It seems that many people prefer one dose of adulation at a time, and some girls of the “sensible” type may wince at even that much. However, most women love to be loved and to be told so. You see the difficulties. Given the complications of writing love letters, lovers must not expect too much from each other’s romantic efforts. As this little treatise is designed to assist young men in their courtships, we will offer a few specimens of letters that may be meant to bring about an understanding between parties.

More tips: In victorian times, women were sometimes allowed to lightly perfume their letters. Love letters tended to end with “as ever your friend,” rather than with “love.” Black wax seals were associated with mourning, and between men, red wax was always used (especially when the letter concerned business). While men were supposed to only use red wax when writing women, women were not asked to follow any regulations about what colors of seals to use, no matter the correspondent.

Last Updated On September 19, 2018 By Letter Writing Leave a Comment

Love letters are not new to the current generation. Passing and writing love letters to lovers has been going on for many centuries. Though technology has advanced in its way, people have not stopped proposing through letters.

Writing a proposal letter might seem to be an easy task but is not in reality. However, if you ever want to express love to your parent, you can write a proposal letter by referring to the below-mentioned sample.

Write a cutest, romantic and effective love proposal letter to your boyfriend or girlfriend with the tips provided below and utilize the samples and email format for better results.

Table of Contents

Love Proposal Letter Writing Tips:

  • Keep the language of the letter informal
  • Do not deviate away from the topic
  • Express your love to her and tell you, lover, how much you love him or her
  • Avoid making grammar mistakes and spelling errors
  • Keep the tone of the letter soft and polite
  • The letter should be emotionally and touching
  • Make use of good words while writing this letter

Love Proposal Letter Template

__________
__________
__________
__________

Date: _____ (Date on Which Letter is Written)

__________
__________
__________
__________

Subject: Love Proposal Letter

I…..(name of the sender) is writing this letter to you to tell you something that I have been keeping in my heart for a long time. I am unaware whether you feel the same as you do to me and hence I am penning my emotions in this letter and telling you that I love you and would love to spend the rest of my life with you.

It all started when I first saw you at my cousin’s marriage which was on…………(date of the marriage). Since then I have fallen for you. Sorry for the delay but somehow I could not come up and tell this to you face to face and hence writing this letter. Until then, hoping to hear a positive reply soon from you.

____________ (Sign of the sender)

____________ (Name of the sender)

Download Template (Doc and PDF)

How to write a love letterHow to write a love letter

Love Proposal Letter Sample, Email and Example/Format

Sample

Andrew,
34 Breeze Towers,
Cape Town,
South Africa

Date: _____ (Date on Which Letter is Written)

Selena,
Cape Town
59163- Collos.
South Africa.

Subject: Love Proposal Letter

I am writing this letter to tell you that you’re very precious to me. You have captivated my heart within the manner that I have no work left aside from thinking and dreaming of yourself. It’s your thoughts that keep me occupied all day and me not having the guts to tell what I feel is writing this letter. I take this chance to ask you truly if you would like to be my life partner. Please take this letter as my token of love to you, and I would be glad if you accepted this proposal of mine.

Email Format

The letters are still the best and most reliable medium of expressive the feelings of love to the beloved as it is done in this letter. The lover expresses his warm feelings and bares his soul in this letter, which touches the heart of the reader.

SUBJECT: Internship Appreciation

You are the person I have been dreaming all my life, so allow me to express my profound love for you. You are the most precious thing in my life. I fancy of the days when we will be together and spending all the beautiful nights, holding hands of each other.

You have captivated my heart in the manner that I have no work left other than thinking and dreaming of your self. Your memories are an invaluable treasure of my life, which is secure in my soul. The time spent with you was the most mesmerizing and delightful of my life. I take this opportunity to ask for your consent if you want to be my life partner.

My tender love, my affectionate hug, and my loving kisses are always with you. This letter is a token of my love for you.

Love letters for her: When you are in love then all you want to do is just keep your girl happy all the time you just want to see the curve on her face turning into a smile, not into sadness. When love is in the air you feel like you are on cloud nine and you just wish to be there forever with your girl. You just do everything like sending good morning messages, good night quotes, wishing her on birthday firstly, buying beautiful birthday gifts for her to keep her happy all the time. You leave no stone un-turned to make her feel so much special.

But when it comes to expressing your love in words you feel dumbstruck. In face you are not even able to write a love letter for her. You just go out of words suddenly and you have nothing to say although you have lots and lots of feelings for her in your heart and soul.

Don’t worry if you ever got caught in such a situation. We are here to help you out. Here are some sample letters for her.

Romantic Love letters for Her to Express You Love and Feelings

You are very special to me. There is no single day in my life when I didn’t think about you. My morning starts with your thoughts and night ends with your cute smile and naughty talks. I don’t want to lose you. I love you very much. I know I have done lots of mistakes in past but I promise you I will not do same things again. Since I found myself in you. I love you for everything. With you, I become a better person.

Nowadays, I am missing you so much. Your cute smile, late-night discussion with you, sharing my food with you and eating with you. I feel happy when I see you smiling. You are really amazing person darling. Your observation power and learning skills kill me every moment. I love you so much.

You are a very good person. I love you lot. I want to spend my whole life with you. I feel happy with you. When I am with you, I become a different person. I miss all those nights when we talk for hours and just fighting for small things. I miss those kisses, those love messages, and that every moment I spend with you. The time you came into my life, I am broken badly and I don’t want to live anymore but when you came into my life, it changed totally. I started to live every moment. You loved me so much. You make me happy always. Sometimes I feel you understand me more than me. You are my dream guy.

I love my life because I have you. You make it beautiful. You make me realized what love is. When you came into my life, I knew the feeling of love. That was very beautiful. I am really thankful to God to send you into my life. You are my world. I want to sleep in your arms every night, I want to wake up in your arms in every morning. I enjoyed your company very much. I want to spend my whole life with you, Honey. I miss your smile. I feel you close even when you are not near with me.I love you so much my darling. Be with me always, I can’t imagine my life without you.

How to write a love letter

love letters for her

How to write a love letter

sweet love letters

How to write a love letter

romantic love letters for her

Things to Remeber While Writing Love Letters for Her

Simple steps to write a sweet love letter for her and express your love. By the help of these points, you can write best love letters for girlfriend.

1). Don’t Forget the Details

When you are writing a love letter for her then do not forget the small details in them. Because girls notice every single thing of yours. Select vibrant colors such as red or pink to write love notes for her. And make sure that you do not use a printed one; you should write it on your own. Because girls like it when you do things on your own.

2). Stupid Caricatures

You can even draw some crazy cartoons on the love letter for her. Too much emotional is too hard to handle so drawing some caricatures of you two would revive the memories of yours. You can obtain these caricatures from any of the app. It will look too cute to your girl. And she will be definitely impressed with all your efforts.

3). The Small Things

When it comes to girls something extra is definitely needed to impress them. Although they do not ask for it but when you do something creative and exceptional for you then they surely like it a lot. You can add some small gifts into the love letters for her. You can spray the fragrance of her favorite perfume into the love letter. Also you can stick some heart shape key chain in the letter for her. She will surely like these surprises.

4). Old Memories With New Feelings

You can write about the old memories that you guys have shared together. Also you can propose her in a really new way in the letter itself. All the efforts done by you would surely touch her heart. You can also stick some old photographs of both of you in the letter. It will be so much creative.

5). Try to be Filmy

Put your filmy side forward and impress your girl with it. you can write some filmy dialogues in the love letter. It will be so much funny and romantic too. And it will add the freshness in your letter too. Don’t bore your girl with those typical copy paste pick up lines and add these filmy dialogues which will surely light up her mood and she will be more in love with you.

Now, I have reached at the end of article. I think now you have learned all things which will be helpful to write love letters for her and share your feelings with her.

If you find still hard, then you can copy above romantic love letters and make some changes according to you and send your girlfriend.

Keep visiting, I will add more romantic love letters for her soon.

Maybe your heart is beating wildly or maybe it is broken. Either way, you wish you could say what you feel, but every time you try, you come up short. Welcome to the complicated world of love! Take comfort in knowing that poets and statesmen have struggled with the same question—”How do I write the perfect love letter?” Here are some simple guidelines that can help.

  • Presentation. Use beautiful stationery (a neutral, soft color, such as cream or white) and a flair pen with black or brown ink—no blues, greens or reds! Remember, your Love Letter is being written to someone special. Hand-written letters are best. This is personal—you are not writing a business letter!
  • Ambience. Go to a secluded place and put on soft, romantic music. A quiet room would be nice. Dim the lights. Stimulate a romantic mood.
  • Keepsake. Date your Love Letter (month, day, year). This is a letter that will be treasured and remembered. You can bet that it will be read over and over and safeguarded in a special place.
  • Greeting. Choose an endearing salutation. Don’t be formal. Use your love’s first name. For example: “My dearest Jennifer . . .” or “My darling Matt . . .”
  • Beginning. Start your Love Letter by telling your beloved your reasons for writing. For instance: “I have lain awake many sleepless nights trying to compose words that might adequately describe the feelings of my heart. But every time I have made the attempt, I have failed miserably. Please forgive my poor effort and accept a trite and simple phrase: I love you. I think I can say it no better than that. ” Never insult your beloved’s feelings or belittle yourself by saying something like: “I know you probably don’t feel this way,” or “You must think I’m crazy.” If you are timid in your Love Letter, your attempt at conveying heartfelt words will fall flat and might be misunderstood.
  • Body. The body of the Love Letter should include reasons for why you fell in love. Here are some ideas:
    • recall when you fell in love with him/her
    • explain how your life has changed for the better
    • describe how much you miss your love when you’re apart
    • explain that you can’t imagine life without him/her
    • list some of the many things you have in common
    • tell how wonderful and complete he/she makes you feel
    • recall some special moments you’ve shared together
    • mention times you’ve picked him/her out of a crowd
    • list qualities that set him/her apart from everyone else

    Avoid being casual, too light-hearted, or openly erotic. A Love Letter is a letter of respect that coveys deep, difficult-to-express feelings. Don’t discount the impact of poetry in place of, or in addition to, your words. Maybe your beloved has a favorite author or poet. It will be seen as a compliment if you take the time to quote someone he/she admires. Be sure to give proper credit where it’s due. Don’t forget the Internet is a great place to find that poem or song you are trying to quote!

    Be real. Your Love Letter should be a carefully crafted work of art, but it also needs to sound sincere. You want your Love Letter to make your beloved fall in love, not fall into laughter. Be confident as you express your emotions, dreams, and vulnerability.

    NOTE: don’t expect your first attempt will be the letter you send. Practice on scrap paper before you start writing on your good stationery. REVISE, then leave it for a few hours, then return and revise it again. Read it again in the morning before you send it. You’ll improve it, as well as have fewer regrets—guaranteed!

  • Closing. End your Love Letter with carefully worded prose: “There, I have said it. I can rest now. And as I dream, I will dream of you.” Make your closing upbeat and positive.
  • Valediction. Don’t just end with: “Love, Eric.” Even if you said, “All my love,” it would be better. You become even more romantic by writing something like: “Dream of me, my love. ” What you want is a simple, yet heartfelt goodbye: “With undying love,” or “Forever yours.” Remember, you may think this is too sappy, but your loved one will treasure each word. Be prepared to have it quoted to you in years to come.
  • Insert. Include a special extra: petals from a flower, sprinkles of stars, a teabag of your favorite tea . You get the idea. That little extra effort means you really put some thought (and heart) into this.
  • Neatness counts. Gently fold the Love Letter and place it in a neatly addressed envelope—hopefully, one that matches your stationery. The correct way is to fold a small stationery sheet (or sheets) in half with the text on the inside. Place the letter in the envelope with the crease at the bottom and the salutation facing the back. Hand address the envelope. Remember what your elementary teacher taught you about penmanship—make sure your love is able to read your writing! Add a stamp that looks romantic—the Garden Bouquet stamps are nice—and affix it upside down. It is a custom that means, “I love you.” Drop the letter in the mail. That’s it! Expect an emotional response. And here’s another tip: buy some breath mints—you’ll need them!
  • Be expressive. Here are some popular words to use in your Love Letter: angel, angelic, lover, giving, alluring, tempting, sensual, sensuality, seeing, tasting, touching, holding, caressing, memories, memorable, darling, gorgeous, absence, velvet, voyage, beautiful, vision, elation, blossoms, happy, kisses, innocent, passion, dreaming, delirious, temptation, complete, desire, content, embrace, rainbow, rose, adoring, stars, privileged, heart.

By Malia Wollan

  • Sept. 1, 2017

How to write a love letter

‘‘You need a minimum of one hour,’’ says Sonia Cancian, an assistant professor of history at Zayed University in Dubai. Find a quiet place away from distractions and spend time just thinking about what you want to communicate. ‘‘A letter has a remarkable way of transpiring feelings, emotions, honesty, sincerity and authenticity,’’ says Cancian, who insists on the singular power of a love letter even in the era of more immediate communication methods like video chat or texting.

You don’t have to be highly educated, or a natural poet, to write about love; it is enough to be heartfelt (and a bit hyperbolic). If you feel stymied, include shared cultural references to movies, song lyrics or novels. As part of her research, Cancian reviewed roughly 450 missives sent between two young, working-­class Italian lovers between 1946 and 1949, many of them trans-­Atlantic dispatches between Venice and Mont­real that contain snippets of opera libretto.

‘‘Play with the notion of time,’’ Cancian says — love letters often describe hours spent together as going quickly and hours spent apart as painfully slow. Writing about celestial bodies like constellations can help create a sense of intimacy, as if by looking skyward you can be drawn closer together by your mutual smallness against the immensity of galaxies.

But don’t get too spacey. ‘‘You have to strike a balance between poetry and descriptions of everyday life,’’ Cancian says. Many of the hundreds of migrant letters Cancian has studied read like diaries, chronicling the mundanity of work, meals, weather. Be specific. ‘‘When you’re in love with someone, you want to know what world surrounds them,’’ Cancian says. A love-­letter author should always write for an audience of one, despite the existence of an academic profession in which reading other people’s letters is so important.

In the post-­World War II letters Cancian researches, social mores of the time relegated sex and physical intimacy to the subtext. Today you can send erotic letters if you want, but subtlety sometimes proves more potent. ‘‘Being very explicit about sex can take something away,’’ she says. ‘‘It leaves less to the imagination.’’

How to write a love letter

Remember how much fun Valentine’s Day was when you were a kid, before it became fraught with pressure and expectation and Instagram posts featuring prominently-placed engagement rings? You know, back when the holiday was just about giving out and collecting cards, receiving a tangible reminder of someone’s affection for you.

Why not return to that?

We’re so ridiculously connected to one another through smartphones and social media that it feels almost fetishistic to go back to old-fashioned pen and paper. But writing an expressive letter by hand has been shown to improve your mood, and an honest declaration of love is far more creative than a dozen red roses.

If you want to rock it old school-style this Valentine’s Day (or any day), here’s how to write a love letter.

Figure out what you want to say first

As long as your final version is handwritten, it doesn’t matter how you got there. Use a computer, or go freehand, but get your rough draft finished first. You’re (probably) not a pretentious teen, so you (probably) don’t want to give someone a love letter featuring a bunch of crossed-out words and formatted paragraphs documenting your entire creative process. Give a polished version of the finished product, instead

If you’re going to go through all the trouble of writing something heartfelt, you may as well make it look nice. Once you know exactly what it is you want to say and you have your final draft ready, it’s a nice touch to write it out by hand.

Be specific

“I love you so much” is great. But “I feel loved when you start my morning by bringing me coffee” is even better. Think about the specific aspects of your relationship that bring you joy: is it the conversations that you have about movies? The long, quiet walks you take together on Saturday mornings? The care he puts in when he makes you dinner, or the way she always wants your insights on politics? The more you can get into what you love about this person, the more sincere it sounds, and the more validated your partner will feel.

Watch: Romantic messages that will keep the love alive while you’re apart. Story continues after video.

Be yourself

This is a good rule when it comes to dating, and a good rule when it comes to writing. Try to write in a similar way to how you speak — it will come across corny and insincere if you start writing in flowery language you would never use in conversation. Stop trying to sound like a poet if you’re not one. Being sincere and specific is all you need to do here.

If you have trouble figuring out what to say, stick to a structure

There’s no one way your love letter has to look: you should express your love in whatever way feels natural. But if you’re getting stuck, a Past/Present/Future structure is a good way to go, according to Samara O’Shea, the author of For the Love of Letters: A 21st-Century Guide to the Art of Letter Writing.

She told BuzzFeed that you can start with the time you first met or first fell in love, then talk about what your partner brings to your everyday life, and finally what you want to do with them moving forward. According to O’Shea, that will indicate that “I’m here and I want to be here for a long time.”

Consider using quotes

There’s nothing wrong with a little creative “theft” in a love letter. Including song lyrics, poems, or other quotes that really capture the way you feel is a sweet romantic move, and it can make you look open-minded and well-read. Just be sure to give credit to and attribute the source of your quote — there’s nothing more unromantic than plagiarism.

Write for your partner, not for yourself

O’Shea also told BuzzFeed that it’s important to think about what your partner would want, which isn’t necessarily the same thing you would want. Focus on their communication style and love language rather than your own.

The same goes for length. Some people are big readers, others would rather you get to the point. There’s no set length a love letter should be — let it go on for as long as it feels natural. Short love notes are still super romantic.

Also, think about your partner’s taste when you think about how you want it to look. Are you writing to someone who would appreciate fancy stationery, or someone who prefers the simplicity of lined paper? Would they like crisp white paper, but with a dried flower pressed inside? Would they prefer a letter sent in the mail, or just tucked under your bedroom door? Think about what would mean the most to them.

How to write a love letter

Learn from the greats

Luckily, there’s no shortage of romantic letters out there on the internet. Here are a few good examples: