Why is it necessary to learn to embrace one’s flaws separately? Aren’t we all adapt to living with the flaws we possess alongside our virtues?
The twist is here: Virtues do not interfere with our functioning as drastically as flaws do.
We all are living with our unique share of imperfections. But most often than not accepting this truth is hard. No matter how much we try to balance our compliments, achievements, accomplishments, and successes in life with our flaws, we will always find it insignificant as compared to our flaws, however scarce they are.
As we live in a society that perpetually compares one person to another, embracing our flaws, forgiving ourselves for our failures and pulling ourselves out of guilt becomes a very difficult task. What we fail to realize is that often the basis of comparison is inappropriate. This is to remind you once again that a bird cannot be compared to a fish, based on their swimming skills.
At the core of this principle is, every individual is unique with a distinct set of imperfections and near-perfections. If you are willing to reach a utopian state of being, you will be strongly disappointed.
You might agree with me, that once you encapture and overcome your fears and you are ready to rule the world. Our flaws, insecurities, and adversities have control over us because fear underlines them – the fear of disapproval, of being humiliated, of failure, of lagging behind and of not being loved. Letting flaws negatively influence us makes it difficult for us to be happy or sustain our sense of success.
This guide will help you shift your perspective of why it’s better to understand, face and embrace one’s flaws rather than ignore and run away from them.
Here are 8 tips to fall in love with your adversities and live with them in peace:
1. Introspect what’s bothering you.
As Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom,” unless and until you search out the root cause of your insecurities or what exactly is bothering you, you can never bring in mental peace.
Introspection is one of the most crucial steps to coming in terms with yourself. Introspection is the conscious process of examination of one’s own thoughts and feelings. The process of introspection relies exclusively on observation of one’s mental state.
Sit yourself down and try objectively gaining knowledge about the things that is currently bothering you. It could be anything – your career lag, your accent, your physical appearance, your failures, your lack of confidence or your low self-esteem.
2. Conceptualize flaws.
How do you define flaws? What are its characteristics? What are you including in the list of your flaws?
In the wish to reach heights of perfectionism, do not lose your rational ideas about your flaws. There are so many things that are not under your control and hence practically do not include in your list of flaws. Your physical appearance, your gestures, your tone of voice, your mannerisms are some of these.
Your idea of flaws should have clarity. Use your reasoning capabilities to list down aspects of your personality which can be transformed and improved.
3. Make a list of your virtues and strength.
We are so used to being criticized that we often forget that flaws are one single aspect of your personality, which doesn’t have the capacity to decide your worth.
As challenging as it might get, force yourself to make a list of all your strong points – your achievements, your talents, your abilities and your positive traits. Try to include every trivial points in the list, however insignificant it might seem. You should also include generic qualities like honesty, trustworthiness, empathy, integrity, loyalty and emotional maturity. Stick this in a place where you can daily take a look to remind you of your strengths.
You have come a long way in life and it’s all because of your own endeavors.
4. Avoid negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk is any internal dialogue or a voice of the critic, from within oneself, almost like a critical person, constantly reminding yourself of your insecurities, your flaws, your drawbacks and those aspects of you which ultimately limit your potential to reach the zenith.
Negative self-talk is to be avoided at all costs.
Most importantly because these negative self-talks follow the path of typical cognitive distortions like catastrophizing, overgeneralization, over personalization etc. Negative self may sound downright mean like “I am not worth anything good in this world.” or may sound reasonable like “I should avoid doing this as it is out of my capacity, just to save myself of humiliation.”
Either way, the negative self-talk will always highlight your flaws and shadow your strength.
Every time, the little voice is about to speak up, shut it up by empowering positive self-talk like “I can do it if I try.” “I am capable of achieving more than this.” Gradually you will find it easier to face your flaws.
Are your so-called flaws getting you down? It’s time to start loving yourself for who you are — right here, right now. Here are ten tips for embracing your flaws and accepting yourself completely.
Acknowledge what’s bothering you
Without understanding the root of your concerns, it’s hard to come to terms with your flaws. Dig deep and see if there are issues beneath the flaws that you need to address.
Use your flaws to guide self-improvement
Embracing your flaws doesn’t mean you can’t improve yourself. In some cases, recognizing certain flaws gives you the opportunity to work on those imperfections. If your flaw is something you want to change, go for it!
Appreciate your individuality
Your flaws may make you different from everybody else, but that’s a good thing! Don’t make the mistake of trying to fit the mold. Just look at Jennifer Grey, who altered her distinctive nose and went from Dirty Dancing fame to being unrecognizable.
Don’t let your flaws
hold you back
Have you seen the new TLC reality show Abby & Brittany? The show follows the “everyday, normal lives” of conjoined twins whose parents raised them to believe they can do anything anyone else can — and they do! Imagine if they wallowed in their differences instead of embracing them and getting on with life.
Put things in perspective
Instead of focusing on everything that’s bothering you, grab a notepad and jot down three things you are grateful for. Wouldn’t you rather have your health and your beautiful family than be a stunning beauty without those precious gifts?
Make your flaws famous
Lady Gaga recently responded to criticism of her weight gain by launching a “Body Revolution,” posting pics of herself in a bra and underwear and encouraging fans to do the same. “May we make our flaws famous, and thus redefine the heinous,” Gaga wrote on her blog.
If your flaw is something physical, Google it. That’s right. Type “fat thighs” or “big nose” in the search box and search images. Warning: You’ll see some extreme images (some digitally altered), but we guarantee it will put things in perspective.
Flip your flaw
If you can find the strength in your flaw, you’re a lot more likely to own it. For example, if you’ve always considered yourself quiet and shy, that probably means you’re an amazing listener and observer.
Don’t compare yourself
Let this be the year of you. Stop comparing yourself to others and love yourself for who you are — the good, the bad and the ugly. Everyone has their own idiosyncrasies. That’s what makes life interesting!
As you start reading it Further, First of all I would Like to State that “We all are Perfect in Our Own Ways”.
Yes you Heard that Right ! Nobody has defined Perfection ! Right? So Why are we not Perfect ? It’s only The Norms, The Misbelieves , The fake standards and Wrong Parameters the Society has set up for all, which brings you down. In this post I want to help you to Embrace your so called Flaws (which are actually not so). This will help you in your Journey towards Self Love & Care.
Almost Everyone of us would hate or dislike certain things about ourselves, whether it would be some visible flaws or not. Mostly the flaws in our Appearances are what makes us feel bad for ourselves. Especially, the skin tones and clear Skins, being skinny or too fat and so many more. But these could be overcomed with your Virtues, Your Confidence and Self Esteem.
Step No. 1
So Firstly, Identify your Flaws. Notice all the things you are insecure about. Also things which we hardly admit about ourselves. Make the list of your traits you dislike.It could be any Physical,Mental or Emotional. (Like I am very Emotional, I used to cry & scream a lot whenever disturbed.)
I would suggest you to be extremely Honest with yourself first. And also don’t Rush while doing this. Grab some Coffee/Tea and Sit with yourself.
Step No. 2
Make Journaling Your Habit. Since our so called Flaws have stories and incidents related to them. You might have been pointed out or harassed for it. You might be compared to someone with better traits. Start writing about it. Get to know about it, How you feel for it? Remember It was their opinion of judging you ! But that’s a part of your Identity and Make a mindset of Accepting it & Embracing it.
Understand your feelings about it and start shifting your mindset along with it. Does that even bother you now? It will all just seem to be illogical & senseless. 🙂
Step No. 3
Self Appreciation – Don’t let your so called Flaws Hold you back. If there’s something you can improve about it. Just do it. Otherwise, start to Appreciate it. It’s something Unique in you ! Not everybody needs to be the Same. Don’t let your Hope Die. You can equally work well as other! For those worrying about dark skin tones, Remember Miss World 2019 was bagged by a black woman. Please Believe in yourself, You have the capability to achieve your Goals.
Also be Grateful for the all things you have. Being the Pretty Stunning girl without etiquettes and Virtues will not lead you anywhere! Rather than that, be a Healthy and Wise Woman Pursuing her Life Goals. It would be a lot more happy scenario than that.
Flip Your Flaws, I mean make them your Strength. Be clear about them. If you are considered to be introvert then express it that your are good at Reading, Listening and much more. If you are Chubby, tell them that’s what suits your personality & you are stronger than other girls and so many more things you are good at.
Step No. 4
Stop comparing Yourself to others. Whether it’s your Friend, Cousin or any Influencer, Never compare yourself to them. Never, Ever. You are not here to be same as everybody. Be Yourself. Express yourself and your qualities. Everybody will love you. Keep Spreading Smiles and Love all over.
Tip: If anybody comments you bad or points you Always keep telling your mind their Opinion doesn’t matter. Along with Practice Meditation and Self Healing. Share your Feelings with people you love & trust. And get started on the Journey of Self Love.
Be Flawsome ! Embrace your Flaws Always
I hope I have cleared your Mind and will help you to Embrace your Flaws. Please let Us know in the comment Box.
Published by Avery on November 17, 2017
Acting like you don’t care what people think is a symptom of caring way too much. Listening to criticism and social feedback, and thinking about it objectively, on the other hand, is a symptom of deep self-confidence.
This kind of honest scrutiny is difficult because it’s when we feel the most fragile parts of our self-image are under attack that we get emotionally reactive. Those fragile points of vulnerability are the parts of our identity we defend most vigorously. The flaws you need to become aware of most are those that are the hardest to accept because they don’t fit into your self-concept. Accomplishing this is fundamentally challenging, but extremely powerful.
Not too long ago, my friends started to call me overly competitive. Instead of saying, “What makes you think that?” I would reply with an offhanded (and intentionally cocky) response like, “A god does not compete with mortals.”
I was sarcastic so I could avoid confronting the issue. I didn’t respond with an open mind when I got called out on a bad social habit, that deep down, I knew I needed to change. I dealt with my exposed insecurity by brushing it under the rug with sarcasm. Addressing this issue with an open mind was the only way to overcome my biggest insecurities, but I blinded myself to the possibility that it was even an issue.
Months after I had begun getting called out on my hyper-competitiveness, I finally saw my insecurities rear their ugly head. I was in a small college writing class, and one student was answering most of the discussion questions. His answers were well thought-out and added substantial value to the discussion. But I got frustrated, I told myself he was an attention whore and that he should let other people contribute more.
In reality, he wasn’t an attention whore. Most of the other students didn’t even have something to contribute. I wasn’t frustrated because he was hungry for attention, I was frustrated because I was hungry for attention. I saw the class as a social competition, and he was winning. I had an emotional need to be the ‘main guy’ in the class. I was jealous that someone else was charismatic, engaging, and intelligent. I was butthurt by the fact that he was offering more to the discussion than I was.
Until I realized what I was doing in that class, all the emotions I felt and decisions I made because of my machismo-infused competitiveness went completely unnoticed by me.
Beforehand, when people complained that I was too competitive, I consciously assumed they were jealous of me in some way (the irony is that even my thinking about my competitiveness was competitive without my awareness).
Blindspots to our own flaws are completely natural, and you can’t expect to be so perfectly aware that you have a totally accurate self-image. However, it is possible to become more aware of your flaws and bad social habits, but it requires a counterintuitive approach. Remember that when you feel uncomfortable, the dialogue you tell yourself cannot be trusted because criticism and self-doubt put your ego on defense. Unfortunately, the voice in your head prioritizes the protection of your current self-image over open-minded self-reflection.
Instead, listen to your emotions. Whatever makes you emotionally reactive can become a goldmine for personal growth. When an interaction makes you angry, anxious, jealous, etc., that’s when you can be sure you have insecure self-beliefs that you are not consciously aware of. Listen to your emotions much more closely than to the voice in your head.
Admit to yourself that the fact you are upset is telling you something that you probably don’t want to hear. Once you come from this vulnerable, open-minded starting point, then and only then, you can start to accurately analyze what is causing you to feel emotional discomfort.
This process is difficult in a culture that teaches people to place blame on everyone but themselves. However, when you start assuming responsibility for your emotional reactions to people, situations, and criticism, you can accurately root out the instances when you are (at least partially) at fault. There are instances in which your emotional reactivity is warranted, but usually, emotional discomfort is indicative of something you should be working on internally.
What frustrates us about others tends to be what we’re afraid of in ourselves. If you hate men who regularly sleep with girls on the first date, most likely you’re either secretly jealous and unable to admit this to yourself, or you think that what he’s doing is disrespectful and you’re afraid that you’re capable of acting the same way if you’re not careful. Either way, this is saying a lot about your values and your insecurities, and very little about the other person.
I have a friend who is extremely uncomfortable around anyone who’s a bit socially awkward. He will complain about how weird some guys are and treat them like shit. In his mind, this treatment is fair; these socially awkward people deserve to be treated poorly because they’re awkward. But what he doesn’t admit to himself is that he is terrified of being socially awkward himself. These people ‘trigger’ him not because they’re socially awkward, but because he’s afraid of the possibility that he might be socially awkward too.
This is an example of what famed psychologist Carl Jung calls the shadow. The shadow is all of the pieces of our identity (or ego) that we keep hidden from ourselves. My friend is so terrified of being awkward, that he will not do anything that makes him feel vulnerable. In fact, he will regularly dare me to pull unusual stunts in public when we go out, like approaching a girl with an awkward pickup line (Is it hot in here? Or is that just the holy spirit burning inside of you?).
Numerous times after completing my challenge, I gave him a similar task and he always became visibly nervous and refuses to do it. To this day, he hasn’t done a single thing that he thought was socially uncalibrated, even when offered money to do so as a bet.
His fear of being socially awkward is understandable (yet irrational), but what makes it so powerful is that he won’t admit to himself that he has this fear. The only way he can come to terms with his own insecurities is by assuming that his emotional discomfort is reflective of his own flaws instead of placing the blame on others.
Realizations likes this catalyze significant change, yet this is always emotionally challenging. It requires a mindset shift towards your own negative emotions. You must realize that emotional resistance isn’t something to avoid, but something to lean into and learn from. Negative emotions aren’t bad, they’re revealing a point of vulnerability in your own self-concept.
Negative emotions are signposts for your own neurotic and insecure beliefs, and they’re screaming at you to become aware of this to make a change. As soon as you see these emotions as signals, as opportunities for growth, they transform from something to be avoided, to something to be sought out purposefully.
Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
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Embrace Your Flaws…
“Flaws are just projected fears…
I used to create fear by comparing myself to others,
my younger past, and my not-yet-manifested greatness.
I have learned that if we feel internally imprisoned,
no amount of money or outside praise will ever make us feel free.
So shatter what no longer matters, get into your glory,
share your story and your true colors.
True success lives in how we perceive ourselves.”
– Renee Airya
Have you ever gone through a powerful journey that allowed you to truly embrace your flaws?
Renee Airya — a brain tumor survivor, spirited author, and award-winning international speaker — certainly has.
In this heart-warming talk by Renee at Mindvalley’s A-Fest Mexico, she shares her incredible story of personal empowerment during one the darkest moments of her life – from paralyzation to liberation.
Renee had life-threatening surgery that left her paralyzed on the right side of her face and doctors telling her that there was no way to recover.
Unsure of whether the voice was authentically hers or that of a higher power, she replied to her doctors’ concerns with complete conviction.
“I looked at my doctor and said I don’t know how this is going to happen, but I am going to smile again… I am giving myself 6 months for my face to move.”
A miracle happened. By changing her mindset, revamping her self-esteem, and trusting her intuition and beliefs, Renee was able to go through a powerful, epic healing journey.
Our Favorite Quotes From This Talk
“When you hide, you create more shame.
That means that you are telling yourself that
you are more and more unloveable.
But when you share, you do allow for the light
to shine through the shame. And I firmly believe
that we can all become perfect through our flaws.”
“The way we choose to deal with our flaws
will actually lead to a life of success, power, and health…
or self-destruction, insecurity, and shame…
Flaws are a part of human nature.”
“Could it be possible that flaws are the gateways to our sincerity?
Could it be possible that flaws are the access points
to recover your unshakeable confidence?
Could it be possible that flaws are the golden key
to discovering our uniqueness?
If you can answer ‘Yes’ to either of those questions,
how can you begin today to start expressing yourself
with more sincerity in the world?
“There is so much liberation and so much freedom
to be found in sharing your true colors with others,
your light, and your shadows.”
“You are not perfect in spite of your flaws,
but actually because of them.
You don’t need to be pretty or good looking to be beautiful.
Beauty is only skin deep, but radiance is eternal.”
Have you been on a powerful healing journey or were able to “flip” your flaws? We are incredibly moved by Renee’s talk and we’d love to hear about your own self-healing stories.
Most people think that learning is the key to self-development
It’s how we were raised – when we were young, we studied algebra, read history, and memorized the names of elements on the periodic table.
But once you grow up and experience life, you realize that you can’t ‘learn certain things – like personal growth.
Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley and New York Times Bestselling author, discovered that the key to self-development was not to ‘learn’, but rather, to ‘transform’.
If You Want To ‘Transform’ And Are Ready To Accelerate Your Own Personal Growth, Then Join Vishen Lakhiani’s FREE Masterclass , Where You’ll Learn:
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✅ Apply the #1 principle to eliminate obstacles in your life, and subsequently show up as your best self and make a positive impact on the world.
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Mindvalley is creating a global school that delivers transformational education for all ages. Powered by community. Fueled by fun. We are dedicated to ensuring that humans live happier, healthier, and more fulfilled lives by plugging in the gaps that conventional education failed to teach us. We do this by organising real-world events around the world and producing world-class quality programmes in several areas of transformation, including mind, body, and performance.
Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.
We see our physical imperfections every time we look at ourselves in a mirror. We sometimes reflect on our shortcomings or imperfections of character after we fail to respond to a situation in an emotionally-balanced way; When we realize we were untruthful to ourselves and to others, or when we harshly criticize ourselves for not having achieved something that is defined as successful or good by social convention.
All of this we come to see as our own imperfections. We see it as imperfect because it falls short of what we think, believe or expect to be perfect (that construct or idea we have in our head that we have built ourselves or that was handed down to us by society).
There is nothing bad in trying to be your best or make the best out of your life with your abilities or talents. What hurts is when you are enslaved by a compulsion to meet some ‘artificial’ idea of what it is to be perfect, thus becoming a ‘perfectionist’ in the negative sense of the word.
To be imperfect on the other hand is the most natural thing to be because—and I hate to break this to you—we are imperfect and always will be.
Reasons to embrace your flaws
The word ‘Imperfect’ actually spells ‘I’m perfect’ because everyone is perfect in their own imperfect ways.
Perfection is an illusion. In short, the healthiest path to the optimal life is to embrace your flaws and hence, here are some points of why this is important:
1. You stop being derailed from your true purpose
When you stop chasing an ideal that is not authentically yours, you give way to what is true and authentic. You give more space to follow your life purpose without obstacles. Being the best version of yourself in line with your life purpose has got nothing to do with being perfect.
2. It lightens you up
Playing the game of constantly reacting to or repressing your imperfections and trying to be someone else’s idea of perfect is highly toxic and draining. Embrace your flaws and accept who you are with all the ‘imperfections.’ It’s liberating and it lightens you up. Try it. It is the most invigorating tonic around!
3. You focus on who you are and not who you think you are
In relation to #1, when you embrace your flaws and let go of the idea of perfection, you start intimately discovering who you really are and stop concerning yourself with who you think you are. You meet your authenticity—your real self. Some people go on the wildest of trips in order to discover themselves when all they needed to do is dump the idea of who they think they are.
4. You measure things with the right perspective
If you can embrace your flaws you can start being more true to yourself by accepting that you are not perfect. It allows you to measure things with the right perspective. In a more general sense, you are framing your reality more soundly and not based on a false notion of self. Hence you become less prone to be crashed or broken when things flip on the wrong side because you measure those life issues with perspective instead of with panic or confusion.
In a way, being okay with who you are, gives you the freedom and reassurance to be more ‘grounded’ without being swept away too easily by life’s ebb and flow.
5. You stop meeting some of your ego’s whims
One of the characteristics of the ego is to be self-centered and whimsical. Like a 5-year-old ‘princess’ who believes the whole world revolves around her, our ego will go through inner dramas when life does not match that ‘reality.’ It will throw a tantrum or start telling us ‘stories’ of how victimised we are and how much life is unfair. Yet having a more ‘realistic’ frame of reference of yourself and your reality, will debunk the ego’s dramas and put it in its own space.
6. You are healthier
Of course being okay with who you are, including all your defects and shortcomings, means understanding acceptance; and acceptance is the real truce that stops the inner battles that waste our time, energies and puts us in a bad shape. Inner conflicts often arise because of a skewed self-image and this inner conflict may take its toll on our health after a long time.
Thus people who have accepted their selves and are living with inner peace are more healthy. This inner peace radiates through their body because they are less consumed and stressed by inner conflicts and battles.
7. You learn to open up to the imperfections of others
When you start learning to embrace your flaws and accept that you are imperfect, you also start opening up to the imperfections of others. You start being less impatient and irritated by the things that others do and which you normally find as being unpleasant traits of character. You are less prone to be judgmental and this opens up more space to accept and welcome in others exactly how they are without much expectation.
You become compassionate and this is particularly healing and constructive for long-standing relationships (such as marriages).
These points are all little reminders of things we already know at a certain level but we are not always conscious of. Everyone of us knows deep inside that letting go of the idea of ‘perfect’ and dancing to life as it comes is the path to real happiness. Most of all is the only path to be perfectly you.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
5. Say NO to comparisons.
The ugly, the hideous, the perfect, the amazing – you are all of it. These are all you are made of. This is the complete you.
Never compare yourself with another individual with a different set of life experiences, abilities and flaws. If you are comparing yourself with the strength of another person, know that they have their own share of flaws. How about that?
Don’t try to be another person. You might not know, he/she might be struggling with more insecurities and hurdles than you do.
6. Overturn your flaws.
Do you see the same side of the coin when you flip it? If not, the same goes for your flaws. For once, turn your flaws upside down and focus on the positive side of your flaws.
If you consider being shy and socially awkward as flaws, remember you could also be a good listener and a keen observer.
7. Incorporate authenticity.
Would you trade your authenticity with perfection? We all wish to be perfect but is it fine to lose our genuinity by removing all our flaws?
If you wish to remain genuine and be yourself, it’s necessary to accept your flaws. You cannot gain perfectionism and also keep intact your genuinity.
Being genuine means to completely feel comfortable in your own skin and not try to be someone you are not.
8. Use your flaws to inspire others.
Watch this video to see how Renee Airya transformed her greatest flaws into her biggest strength ever.
Why not use your flaws to inspire others to achieve what you could, with what you consider your weaknesses?
Show the world what you could achieve with your share of adversities. Show them that flaws do not hold one back, our mentality does, one’s lack of motivation, perseverance, and determination does.
Like Lady Gaga wrote in one of her blogs, “May we make our flaws famous, and thus redefine the heinous.”
Read this to yourself, again and again,
Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are. – Ariana Grand
1. Schultz, D. P.; Schultz, S. E. (2012). A history of modern psychology (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning. pp. 67–77, 88–100. ISBN 978-1-133-31624-4.
We all have heard a phrase from our childhood that ‘Nobody is Perfect’. Everyone has some flaws in them and it’s absolutely true we all are born with some flaws, but it doesn’t mean that we have to die with our flaws. As we all are born with the power of acceptance, so similarly we have to accept our flaws as well and one should be proud of it.
Yes, it’s okay to be less than perfect.
But it seems now that nobody in this imperfect world wants to accept themselves in their own way, everybody is just focusing on how to be a pure perfect person. Let me ask you all a question- Why to become a perfectionist in the world which is imperfect in itself? But yes I somehow know the answer to this question which is that we ourselves do not want to become perfect we just follow the hollow advice and opinions of others so that we can be accepted by them. Another point which arises here is that when we can hear and accept the opinions or advises of others then why can’t we simply accept our flaws and love them?
Here are the following ways which will help you to love yourself and embrace yourself more:
1) KNOW YOUR FLAWS.
The first step in admitting your flaws is to know about them. One should be aware of those things in which they are not confident. After the acknowledgment of the flaws one should proudly admit them, however, things will take time, we will also take time in acknowledging and accepting our flaws but once they are accepted, a person can notice the change in their lives themselves.
2) TELL YOUR STORIES THROUGH YOUR FLAWS.
The second step is to create and to tell stories of your lives through your flaws. In short ‘LET YOUR FLAWS SPEAK”. These flaws will help you to make things more creative and more beautiful. In this way, the process of communication of flaws will go on and will make a change in the world.
3) FIND GOOD ROLE MODELS.
Whatever your flaws or weaknesses are, there are some people out there who have overcome them their flaws and have accepted them. So find your role models follow them and study about them. It will surely help you all to overcome your weakness, and all your weaknesses will be converted into strengths. I understand it’s hard to find inspiration in someone when you yourself are suffering, but learn how to see things in a different way.
4)LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE.
The most important step in the acceptance of flaws is to love your body the way it is. We all should thank god for giving us this beautiful life. Just look outside and see those people who are handicapped and learn from them the way they have accepted themselves and their flaws. So all of you out there, accept your flaws and be happy because life is too short to not be happy. Don’t place your happiness in people who are temporary in your life, learn how to create your own happiness.
5) FIND HAPPINESS IN YOUR FLAWS.
In order to accept our flaws, we need to find happiness in it. Acceptance will surely take time, but once we have accepted ourselves and started loving ourselves for what we are then I can assure you that nobody on this planet will be able to take away our happiness or our strengths. Do not listen to other’s, because we all are perfectly unique in our own way. Give your haters a smile and move on!
6) LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.
The next important thing is to give importance to our heart. Try to understand what your heart is saying and follow it passionately. Let you define your flaws. Do not let your flaws define you. Be proud of yourself and start loving yourself because till the time you won’t love yourself, nobody else will.
In the end, I would like to say BE YOURSELF, BE PROUD and BE FLAWLESS.
They say ‘Nobody is perfect’, but I ask “Who defined perfection?” Take a moment to think about this – Who has set the standards for beauty, intelligence, success or happiness? Who defines your flaws as your flaws? The day these questions started bothering me, I knew I was in for a major change in my life. In this post, I want to help you embrace your flaws with some super actionable and insightful stuff and help you in your journey towards self-love!
Labeling certain traits as ‘flaws’ is very undesirable in my perspective. But the harsh truth is that we all dislike certain traits in ourselves. This is mainly because of the negative experiences that we have around these traits. For example, there is a general notion in the society that ‘having a wheatish skin tone is not attractive’. This notion has affected millions of Indian women, including me. Growing up I tried various remedies to overcome this ‘flaw’. It was early on in my life when I realized that my skin tone does not affect my attractiveness or confidence. I was shown that my skin color enhanced my features and I started looking at myself with a new lens.
I know saying ‘I love myself with all my flaws’ is super easy but practicing it can be real tough. The journey from wanting to love myself completely to actually doing it has been long. I will be sharing some tips that helped me get to this place in my life.
Honestly, this process is not a joyride and can be quite challenging. The most difficult part of this is being honest with yourself. I suggest you to go through this process with utter honesty and self-awareness. I have broken this down to a four step process so as to help you with taking systematic action towards self-acceptance.
We know we dislike certain things in ourselves, but rarely do we admit it. In this very first step, I want you to get honest and transparent with yourself and write down all the traits that you think are flawed.
We are often insecure about many things in ourselves but we find it difficult to admit it. We are restricted by the need to protect ourselves and hence we like to say that ‘I love myself’ when you actually don’t mean it. So take out your journal or a notebook and make a list of your traits that you are insecure about.
These traits can be anything – physical, lifestyle oriented, mental or emotional. There are so many people who dislike their flabs, their hair, their financial situation, their fashion sense, their relationships, their intellect, their creative side and so many more things. Make your list, because that is the place from where you will be able to work towards self-love.
You were born flawless, and then this concept of ‘flaws’ was implanted in you y the society. Each of your flaw has a backstory associated with it. The general notion about wheatish skin tone resulted in my mental block. A friend of mine despised her intellect because of constant comparison with her super-intelligent sibling.
Your task in this step is to find out your back-story. What helped me was journaling or writing things down. I took out my journal, wrote one of my flaws as the title and started writing anything that came to my mind about it. I love writing and that is why I enjoy free form of journaling if you feel like you need guidance, the Embrace Your Flaws workbook has various journaling prompts that will help you get started and then go deeper.
Understanding why you feel the way you do is the key to shifting the mindset. Once you see how these flaws came into being your flaws and not just your unique traits, you will see how baseless the entire thing is. This step will enable you to clean your slate.
Now that you have cleaned your slate, it is time to write a new story. If you leave the slate blank, you give the society a chance to write their stories on it. This is why, we will be writing one ourselves to start the self-love journey.
There are various ways you can approach this step. You can either do it yourself or you can get help.
- Meditation – Self Healing
- Talk to someone you love and trust – Guided healing
Use the self healing technique when you do not have the courage to talk about it to someone else and show your insecurities to them. I have overcome certain flaws that I don’t talk about because they make me feel insecure. I meditated, told myself how each of it made me unique and how all my traits were there to have a beautiful and enlightening life experience.
On the other hand, for some flaws, like the one I mentioned above, I found courage to speak to my mother, best friend or partner. I suggest you to share these with people who will make you see the good in yourself. My mother, showed me how my skin tone enhanced my features and how I looked beautiful. I could see it myself because I now had a blank slate. This is how I started off my self love journey.
I have said this before, but I will repeat that this journey is not easy. These journaling, meditation and counseling sessions will help you renew your mindset but maintaining it requires discipline. Even after you have healed that part, there remains a soft spot in that place. If not taken care of, these places can start bleeding again.
I have a self care ritual that I do every single day, week and month and I have incorporated some self-acceptance practices in there too. I like checking up on my soft spots every other week. I will use my journaling prompts to make sure that my state of self-love is unaffected.
Besides periodic check in, you need to maintain a mindful awareness around these topics. Every time, in any social situation, if you feel like your soft spots are being exposed, tell your mind to know what the truth is.
If you are insecure about your weight and someone passes a comment about your fatness, tell your mind that these opinions do not matter to you. Tell your mind the story that you have recreated right after the story that the society tries to impose on you.
Once you so this for long enough, all these places will heal and you will feel the purest form of self-love. There is no going back after that. I invite you to such a place of self-love!
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I have been debating on whether to post anything today because I have been feeling a little lazy the past two days. Procrastinating is like a drug, once you start, it is very hard to stop. Most of the time, you either take too long or never do what you had procrastinated. I guess this is one of my flaws.
So, here I am with yet another blog. You may also want to note that my fonts are always changing which is completely intentional.
Let us dive right into the topic and talk about flaws. What are your flaws? Are they sources of your insecurity? Well, to begin with, every person has a flaw. I believe even Beyonce has some flaw(s). So don’t you read this and think in your head that you are perfect because you are far from perfection. Humans are imperfect, even Jesus says that no one is perfect but God.
What is your imperfection or flaw? I have a couple of flaws but I will just talk about one and how it has made me a better person ever since I embraced it. I would also love to mention that I have physical flaws which is inclusive of big upper arms. But if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I have started to embrace them with grace.
I did not post a blog on Monday because of procrastination. But apart from that, I have been consistent and it has helped my blog a lot.
So, one of my biggest flaws is that I tend to be very selfish especially when it comes to time, emotions and personal stuff. And the funny thing is that when I do, I also tend to over-give which has overtime led to me getting hurt. In turn, it has resulted in me being more selfish. I have been in a situation where I did not notice when someone was being fake because I was busy over-giving.
Now the effed up thing is that I am very selfish now especially with my time and emotions. I am emotionally available to very few people. I nowadays tend to give time to family and very close friends. Unless the rest is earning me money or benefiting me somehow, then I tend to avoid those situations a lot.
Over the past few months I have learnt how to keep busy and how to better my life and the life of those around me but I am constantly faced with the selfishness issue which I find really hard to solve. I have been trying to learn about how to be less selfish but turns out that I am a bad protege and selfishness is not as bad after all.
I had a little incidence about two months ago… You know what? Scratch that! It was not a small incidence. It was catastrophic and I ended up kicking effed up people out of my life for good. I have been trying to be less selfish for the wrong people and that sucks. Anyway, This year was amazing for me apart from a few glitches here and there that I managed to fix. A lot has happened this year that also taught me valuable lessons that I will pass on with time. But the most important thing is that there is nothing wrong with me. I just had really weird people in my life.
Ever since I realized that sometimes being selfish can protect me, I have embraced that side of me like never before. I am happier with who I am as a person and what I am accomplishing for myself. By selfish I also do not mean that you should not help your friends when they are in need. Or that you should be self absorbed. You should care for those who matter and ignore those who do not. It works a lot and it keeps you happy and grounded.
The thing I hear again and again when working with clients is how uncomfortable they feel putting themselves out there and being the face of their brand. They’re scared they’ll make a mistake, stumble over their words, or they are afraid that the world will see that one thing in their personality that they personally deem as a flaw.
And while we may know that our flaws are magnified in our own eyes, it’s still hard to get over that pimple, or our shy persona, or whatever it may be that we don’t necessarily love about ourselves.
Who here has been there? Raise those hands, girlfriends!
And don’t worry, you aren’t alone here. I’m raising my hand high right there with you.. because I still feel this!
*Video version at the bottom of this blog post
My personal struggle with embracing my flaws
You see, the flaw I battle with everyday is writing copy for my business while struggling with dyslexia.
There are countless times that I have written a blog or social media post, felt super empowered about the message I was delivering, only to be left scrambling to the edit button after it’s gone live because I used the wrong “there” or switched around I’s and E’s in a commonly spelled word.
And, the worst part is- when this happens, I often find myself giving negative self talk.
I tell myself people might think I’m dumb, or my message wont have the impact I was hoping it would because my fingers typed faster than my brain and I left out a crucial word. – guys that a happens A LOT!
But, and this is a totally funny story- I actually got my very first client ever because of a typo on the homepage of my website.
How my “Flaw” Got me a Client
On the day I launched Lady and Company I received an email from the contact form on my website that said “Hey, just wanted to let you know that you spelled ___ wrong on your website. Oh, and can I schedule a consultation with you? I need to refresh my brand.”
And then I BOOKED HER! On my first day in business. In SPITE of that typo.
In fact, later on I found out that that typo drew her in to chat with me because she knew it was a real person behind the computer screen.
So let this is a testament to you that you don’t have to be perfect in business, you just have to be yourself! Because, at the end of the day, your brand is YOU in business form.
✨ And, yep, even your flaws
Each of those things work together to create a brand that stands alone- totally unique from anything else out there.
And more than anything else, your flaws actually humanize your brand and make you more likable and relatable!
How to Embrace Your Flaws
I know showcasing your flaws in yoru business goes against everything that feels natural. You’re probably even thinking: “Why would you ever intentionally draw attention to something strange, unprofessional, or unusual about myself?”
Well, embracing (and even showcasing your flaws) not only builds trust by making your brand more human, but it also differentiates you from your competition. Your flaws become your brands superpowers!
Learning to embrace your flaws takes time, lots of introspection, and some grace on your end. But to get started, you can follow these simple steps:
1. Write down a list of your flaws
Be as specific as possible! Don’t say “I don’t like the way I look” and instead zero in on that you don’t like how your skin breaks out, etc..
2. Rename “flaws”
Instead of calling them flaws, call them “quirks” or “habits”. I personally like to call them perfect flaws!
3. Rewrite your narative
Instead of saying “I’m shy” say “I like to get to know people before opening up” – This is gentler self-talk and will help you with your perception of yourself.
4. Look for the upside
Find another way to speak about your so-called flaw! Stubbornness can also be seen as determination, and being overly emotional usually means you’re empathetic and can offer comfort to those that need it.
5. Be honest about them
Start to talk about your quirks in social media posts and speak freely of them to your clients to normalize them!
In fact, when working with clients, I now start my 1 on 1 coaching calls by explaining that I have dyslexia and that if they see a typo in my notes, to call it out and it wont hurt my feelings. Then we usually have a good laugh about a few out there misspellings!
At the end of the day.
Try to remember that your “flaws” can actually be your biggest superpower! And by embracing your flaws you are opening the doors to: 1) Being set you apart from your competition, 2) Humanizing your brand and cultivating likability, 3) and drawing in more like-minded customers and clients that will get you!
Every human being is a unique individual, yet most of us are trying to copy others, out of our desire to conform to a pattern, believing that we are not enough just the way we are. We are searching for perfection by imitating those we consider special. We continuously compare ourselves to others, and as a result we never feel content and at peace with ourselves.
But the truth is that nobody is perfect. Everyone has flaws, and that’s not bad at all. Flaws are actually what makes us human, individual beings with unique characteristics. Imagine everyone was perfect… how ugly would this world be? It would be a sheer monotony — the most boring place to live in.
The moment you compare yourself to others, you demean yourself in your own eyes, unable to recognize the uniqueness inherent in you. When you seek perfection, desiring to become different and special, you will always end up feeling disappointed and dissatisfied — because you already deep down are the different and special being you are seeking to become. And the less you embrace your flaws and accept yourself just the way you are, the more you fuel your inner battle against yourself, causing a continuous state of anguish in your psyche.
You are enough as you are — a unique expression of the universe. Not better than others, not worse than others, but unique in your own way.
We all have things we donвЂ™t like about ourselves but do you embrace your flaws or do you obsess about fixing them? Many of us have trouble embracing things we perceive to be imperfections but have you ever thought about embracing and really owning them? As silly as it may seem, the relationship that you have with yourself can make a huge difference in the relationship you have with others. Learning to love yourself takes some time but it is possible and IвЂ™ve got 9 convincing reasons to embrace your flaws and learn to appreciate yourself more!
1. You Deserve Love
One of the top reasons to embrace your flaws is because you deserve love! Many times flaws are associated with negative emotions and harboring those negative emotions can prevent us from fully accepting and loving our flaws and ourselves for who we are. To love ourselves completely we have to accept and appreciate ourselves without conditions, physical or emotional imperfections and all.
2. You Deserve to Be Comfortable with Yourself
Accepting your flaws means that you are totally comfortable with yourself which is a beautiful thing! IвЂ™m sure youвЂ™ve seen plenty of people both men and women who arenвЂ™t the best dancers or the best looking but they totally own their flaws and are comfortable with how they move and look and it shows! Of course it takes time to be that confident or maybe theyвЂ™re faking it, either way, feeling completely comfortable with yourself is an awesome feeling!
3. You CanвЂ™t Control Everything
Having a gift for the obvious, I had to mention another reason to embrace your flaws is that you canвЂ™t control everything anyway. Is it really feasible for anyone to correct every single flaw that they or someone else doesnвЂ™t like about them? Of course not! I donвЂ™t care how much time or money you have, you flaws or what you perceive as flaws make you who you are. You were born with different features and traits for a reason, not so you can pick yourself apart and spend your life trying to change or cover those things up!
4. Other People Love Your вЂњFlawsвЂќ
Another reason to accept your flaws is that IвЂ™ll bet that someone admires that characteristic about you whether you know it or not! I canвЂ™t even begin to tell you how many times I have witnessed others being complimented on things that they said they hate about themselves! IвЂ™ve had it happen to myself as well and I know it happens to a lot of people. What you perceive as a flaw is something that someone loves or would pay to have!
5. Your Perception is Your Reality
As mentioned in the previous reason to embrace your flaws, have you ever thought about whether what you see as a flaw is just your perception and not the worldвЂ™s? Of course your opinion matters and IвЂ™m not suggesting that you only listen to others because other people can have distorted perceptions and opinions too. What I am saying is to consider whether your imperfection is really even a flaw. Even if you have a feature that isnвЂ™t necessarily common, it doesnвЂ™t make it a blemish!
6. Different is Good
Part of accepting your flaws is realizing that being different sets you apart from others, and that is a good thing! Imagine if we all had the same nose, eyes, lips and body-how boring would that be?! One of the reasons stars like Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian are so popular and admired is because they were just as gorgeous as any other celeb if not more, but physically they were totally different from what Hollywood deemed as traditionally beautiful!
7. No One is Perfect
YouвЂ™ve probably heard this logic to embrace your flaws before, no one is perfect and itвЂ™s so true! Even the people you think are so perfect really arenвЂ™t. ItвЂ™s so awesome that some celebs even reveal their pictures before and after Photoshop so that we can see that even they have features that others perceive as imperfections covered up and magically erased. Having the perfect nose, zero cellulite or being taller wonвЂ™t make us blissfully happy or make our lives perfect.
8. Perfect the Way You Are
Another great reason to accept your flaws is to consider who ever said youвЂ™re not perfect the way you are? Ok, so I just finished saying no one is completely perfect in every way, but IвЂ™m asking what reason do you have not to think youвЂ™re not already the catвЂ™s pajamas? Did a family member, friend or some random person tell you that they donвЂ™t think something about you isnвЂ™t up to par? Whatever the reason, contemplate whether itвЂ™s you who sees this feature as a flaw or itвЂ™s someone elseвЂ™s problem.
9. Be Unstoppable
Want more motivation to embrace your flaws? Ok, think about this, has having a flaw ever stopped anyone from achieving their goals or living the life they want? There are so many musicians, scientists, business people, models, actresses, etc. that had doors slammed in their face due to having a perceived flaw, a problem that someone else had with them and perhaps they were aware of too, but they still moved forward and achieved their goals. J.K. Rowling, Marilyn Monroe, Emily Dickinson and April Hulmes are just some of the many women who were unstoppable and you can be too!
Has this list of reasons to embrace your flaws changed your mind even a little bit? I hope you realize just how special you are and that your life is what you decide to make of it and you can choose whatever direction you want to go! You are limitless and unique, love yourself for who you are exactly as you are now!
By Yousra.B, contributor from womenhancers.net
Being perfect is something you will never achieve. Not because you can’t but because it doesn’t exist. Perfection is just a lie and us being human beings we crave it. We want to look ideal to everyone so that they won’t have anything against us. So that we wouldn’t be judged by our flaws and imperfections. But that is where we are wrong. People will have so many things to say even if we are a brilliant model of awesomeness. They will still find flaws in our perfect little selves to criticise and with us being scared, we let their judgments take power over us. So what is left for you to do in that case? The answer is simple, yet powerful – Just embrace your flaws and live your life to the fullest.
But you may ask how would you do that? How could you look past all your body image issues , for instance, and all your “imperfections” and just be happy and ride along with it?
There are many steps and stages to this process. Some of them may be very hard for you particularly when overcoming the initial resistances, doubts and habits. But you only have to be strong and your ‘flaws’ (or rather your misperception of them) one small step at a time.
Love Your Flaws And Change Your Ways:
You have to learn how to love yourself first and foremost – Flaws and all. But don’t forget to decide first if the flaws that trouble you are somethings that can actually misperceptions or actual patterns that need to be corrected or improved. Such as bad temper or impatience or negative thinking. Stuff like that should be changed because they are hurting you more than you know it.
Change those despicable flaws for yourself. To become a better person.
But if your perceived flaws are something like chubby cheeks or a birthmark or being overly nice or something that makes you feel uncomfortable because you think that PEOPLE don’t like that, then you need to first take the commitment to embrace your flaws as a life strategy. This is actually empowering yourself. Whether they are physical or psychological imperfections, acceptance is the kindest yet strongest turning point to personal growth and self-empowerment that you can achieve.
Also keep in mind that being ‘flawed’ with little imperfections doesn’t make you worthless or a nobody. It is actually what defines you and makes you special, unique and human. So just take the courage to embrace your flaws and go on with your life. Just see what power this little internal shift brings out in you!
Accept That Self Image Isn’t Public Image:
Your outlook on your flaws is much like the vision you have on an object from the side mirror of your car. It’s closer than it appears.
When you obsess over certain flaws you give them much more power than they really ought to have. You let them define what you can and can’t do – in short setting limits in your life and personal growth.
Being someone who has Albinism doesn’t mean you can’t be an astronaut or a doctor or an actor or whatever you dream of becoming.
Being a ‘flawed’ person doesn’t have to mean giving up your dreams because “it is not normal for someone who has depression to be the CEO of a big company” or some other excuse or belief.
But you have to invest in the self-confidence and belief that it can make you one Hell of a CEO. People will see your ‘flaws’ as a statement of uniqueness, character and identity. Some others won’t even notice them at all and just see your strengths, talent and grace.
You’re Better Flawed Than Flawless:
Embrace your flaws and learn to live with them – meaning accept and love yourself. Reframe them and try to see how they benefit you and make you who you are. It may be hard at the start but with some time you’ll get there.
Forget the idea of perfection while leaving the fear of judgment behind and you’ll be more than welcoming towards your flaws. Just remember to let go and trust that everything will be fine.
If you need a little booster and a shot of encouragement, you might want to focus on one of your beautiful traits and strengths. Maybe you’re a patient person or a hardworking one and so on.
Use the perception of those traits and strengths to overcome your flaws. Learn that your past successes were achieved because of WHO you are and you reached them WITH your flaws.
In conclusion, you are a perfect the way you are regardless of your flaws. You have to keep in mind that being flawed makes you human and no matter how bad you think they are, ultimately they make you who you are.
December 19, 2019
Written by Sangram Vajre
We all know that honesty in sales can go a long way. But what if we prefaced our pitch with what we do poorly?
How do you think prospects would respond to such radical transparency?
Todd Caponi , the author of The Transparency Sale , has tested this method. And if you couldn’t tell by the title of his book, it’s worked boundlessly for him.
Todd shares his experiences with radical transparency in sales live from the B2BSMX stage.
Here’s what we’re unpacking today:
- Why transparency works in sales
- How to successfully present the entire picture to a B2B buyer
- How to embrace your flaws and look at your company from the perspective of the buyer
This post is based on a live session with Todd Caponi . You can hear the full session here and below.
Why transparency works in sales
An example of when transparency has worked in B2B sales:
Todd : This guy was New York in the best way possible meaning he said, “Let’s just get to it, Todd. We’re looking at your competitor and we’re looking at you. How are you better than them?”
So, I said, “Hey, before we dig into that, can I tell you what they’re better than us at first? Because if what they’re doing is more important to you and your evaluation, I want to get that out now and save everybody a ton of time.”
Our competitor was building an add-on that wasn’t ratings and reviews. It was an ad retargeting technology that plugged in. So, I explained it and actually tried to sell him on it.
Be honest about what you offer
I said, “Listen, it’s not on our roadmap and it’s not something we’ve contemplated. We want to be really good at our core, so if this is going to be super important, I’m going to save you 45 minutes and get out of your hair.”
The add-on was actually not very important to them. They hadn’t even contemplated it.
I told them for right now our focus is ratings and reviews.
This guy literally kicked the other seven people out of his office and did something I’ve never seen anybody do in the history of all my selling.
He pulled out a folder and opened it up to a sheet that said “e-commerce budget.” It had all the line items and how much money he was spending on each one. He asked if I could hit that number, pointing to the ratings and reviews.
Shorten up the sales cycle
Two weeks later, he called me and said, “A funny thing just happened. First of all, we’ve selected you. Second of all, I called your competitor to tell them we selected you and they went into a pitch on their ad retargeting technology.”
A sales cycle that should’ve been six months took six weeks. They made their decision in two and then we had four weeks of Ts and Cs.
Our sales cycle accelerated like crazy. Rapid win rates went up across the board. We qualified deals in faster that we should win. We qualified deals out faster that we’re going to lose.
Present the entire picture
That whole conversation he had with our competitor made it really hard for them to compete against us.
You need to present the whole picture — both what the competitor can do better than you and what you’re really focused on.
Why embracing your flaws works
Todd : I’m not telling you to go out into the world and say, “Hey everybody. This is why we suck.”
What Tyra Banks talks about is embracing your flaws but knowing you’re still awesome. We need to lead with our flaws but know that we’re still awesome because if we’re below that, we probably suck too much to have good sales anyway.
What B2B buyers are searching for
I want you to think about this study that Gartner came out with last year that looked at a B2B buyer going through their process.
So, they’re starting an evaluation and there’s a team associated with it. What does the team spend their time on? It turns out that only 39% of their time is spent talking to you, talking to your competitors, or talking to their internal buying groups.
The other 61% is doing other stuff like talking to references, back-channeling you, talking to peers, talking to analysts. Those buyers are looking because they’re not just buying your technology — they’re buying you.
They are trying to predict what their experience is going to be like. They’re going to find the flaws.
Looking at your company from the buyer’s perspective
Your homework as a marketer is to go act like a buyer. Search your company and take that to your sales team to create messaging around it.
Marketers need to own that dialogue with the sellers and make sure that you’re framing it right. But it starts with leading with your flaws.
82% of us as buyers look for the flaws first and we don’t believe anything until we see those. B2B is the exact same thing. As a B2B buyer, I want to know the whole picture before I’m going to believe your pitch.
We all have them, we all have things that we want to change about ourselves, them flaws we point out whenever we look in the mirror. Most of the time, we talk negatively about them and when we get in our heads seeing them is what makes us put ourselves done. But, it’s so toxic, it’s hurtful to hate yourself and the skin you’re in. It not only affects you mentally but it hurts your body too and it fills your life with negativity.
1) Appreciate your individuality
Something we all have is individuality, we’re all unique in our own way and it’s important to recognise we’re all different. It’s ok to be different, it’s ok to have different perspectives on life and to think differently. We all have something we dislike about ourselves, but we also have things we love too, but we often push them aside. Your individuality could be to do with the way you dress, your hair colour, your creativeness, something that sets you aside from everyone else, something you embrace that you like to talk about.
That’s what makes you stand out from everyone else, it’s that you can be who you’re and appreciate it. Having individuality means that we’re not constantly trying to keep up with the trends, we’re not trying to be someone we’re not even though society expects us to most of the time. We all have our own personalities and our own way of thinking. We don’t always have to follow the leader when it comes to expressing ourselves or being afraid of being who we’re because we’re scared of what others will say. Instead, embrace that because that’s individuality and that itself is a beautiful thing.
2) Don’t compare yourself to others
We’re all guilty of this, and this can often be very damaging to ourselves because we constantly get in the mindset of ‘I want to look like that’ or ‘I look nothing like that!’ It’s so harmful to ourselves and we don’t even realise how bad it is. It’s important not to compare yourself to others, no matter how many times you want too. Avoid social media and using that as a way to compare yourself to others, because it’s not always what it’s deemed to be when it’s posted on Instagram.
Not everyone is real with how they look, a lot of filters are introduced or in general, try not to be natural excepting their flaws when it comes to posting on social media. So, if you want to help your self-esteem and help you embrace your flaws, stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t wish you were someone else, you’re amazing just the way you’re and you’re you. Don’t take it for granted, there is only one you and it’s not worth constantly spending your time wishing to look like someone else. Especially, when there are such unrealistic expectations nowadays, from magazines to social media. We’re constantly being fed this expectation of what is deceived as ‘perfect’ but that’s far from reality.
3) Love yourself
You may find this hard for yourself, especially if your confidence has been knocked down quite a lot. In life, we have times that our confidence takes a huge kick and we feel we can’t ever love ourselves or our flaws again. Due to the fact, they may have pointed them out and now they’re what we call our flaws because someone else pointed them out but we never saw them like that in the first place. Having that impact of what someone else has said to you, can really take a hit to your thoughts and can lead you to go down the road of negative self-talk because you then start hating them too.
But, honestly just loving yourself will help you live a happier life, one where you’ll look in the mirror and smile. You’ll see them stretch marks on your skin and think of them as you warrior stripes, what you’ve earned to show all the natural changes your body has gone through. You’ll look at the spots on your chin and realise that it’s ok to have them, it’s hormones or you’re very stressed, everyone gets them and they’ll go away. You’ll look at yourself and realise that even though you have these ‘flaws’ they’re actually what makes you, you. You’ll learn to love them, you’ll learn to appreciate them and realise that just because you don’t look like this definition of ‘perfect’ doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. Love yourself, love your body, love your scars and most importantly love yourself.
4) Recognise you’re not your thoughts
We get so lost in that negative mindset, that constantly putting ourselves down letting our minds take over and make us feel bad about ourselves. We get so lost in our minds sometimes, that we find it hard to escape. But, it’s important to realise that we’re not our thoughts, we can block them out if we choose to and even though it may be hard it is possible. We fall into this trap of believing everything it tells us. Rather than getting lost in your thoughts, try to perceive your flaws as something you like and something that you can embrace, before letting the negative thoughts seep in.
In time, you’ll realise that because you were so caught up in your own mind, that you began to let your thoughts take over and let you hate on something you didn’t see as a bad thing in the first place. Too often, we let our mind get the best of us, whilst it is a very magnificent thing is can also bring us a lot of hurts and low self-esteem. But, sometimes we don’t even realise it’s doing it, we don’t see that our mind is bringing negativity upon us, but it can and it can damage how you feel about yourself. It can make them little things, seem massive and really put your confidence down. That’s why it’s vital to separate yourself away from the thoughts.
5) Reframe your thoughts
To reframe your thoughts, you must start to challenge the assumptions surrounding the beliefs you have about yourself. It doesn’t adjust who you’re but it puts things into perspective, it makes it easier to see things from a different light and realise that it’s ok to have flaws. Think to yourself, why in the first place you deemed your flaws as one because there is always a reason. Write what you perceive as a flaw down on a piece of paper, then write about why you don’t like them, any particular reason that when you look at them you call them a flaw and they bother you.
Then write something that you would perceive as a positive to that flaw, like stretch marks, for instance, some look at them as disgusting or because they’re overweight. Some look at them as a way of reminding them what their body has gone through, reminding ourselves of the fact our bodies change constantly, they go through a lot and it’s ok to have stretch marks like it’s ok to have any of these things we class as flaws. They remind us that our bodies are strong and they will continue to be.
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Entry posted by Beauty&Blemishes · March 21, 2014
Embrace your flaws.
It’s time to stop beating yourself up over your imperfections, over your flaws, your insecurities.
It’s time to learn to love & appreciate yourself. It’s time to look in the mirror & believe that “you are beautiful” that you are unstoppable & fearless! Stop feeding your fears with the opinions of others. So often we hold ourselves back because of what someone else thinks of us. Don’t let people make you feel uncomfortable about being comfortable in your own skin.
Be secure in your flaws, accept & understand your flaws, that way no one can use them against you! Stop being something that you’re not, you’re only honest with others when you’re honest with yourself! The public you should be the same exact you behind closed doors.
Stop allowing this world to think you’re not good enough, YOU ARE! Stop living up to the standards society creates, you’re a unique individual. Learn to love you, so you can be happy! It’s time to free yourself, it’s time to rise above all the negative opinions. Fix your mind on “I’m beautiful” so no person can make you feel insecure.
Trust me, I’m know the battle. I know the struggle you all are facing. However From this day forward I’m making a promise to myself. It’s time to live mylife & stopping allowing “acne” my flaws to hold me back! I’m taking control of what’s mine. It’s time to smile again, it’s time to embrace myself with no limits!
It’s my dying wish for all of you to do the same. Speak positivity, be positive! Stop crying over things you can change. Get up & make a change! & most importantly embrace your flaws, when you change your attitude regrading a problem you open up so many opportunities for growth. Its time to grow, & learn to love your self.
I’ve always believed physical flaws are like mosaic pieces. Individually, they might look a little uneven and out-of-place. But when put together, every piece makes art… sometimes a masterpiece. How do we accept our physical flaws in a society reaching for perfection?
The word ‘flaw’ in itself is misleading. It’s an imperfection claimed by society. You don’t think your nose is big until someone tells you, or your hair looks great until an advert exclaims it needs more volume. There’s no real truth: every imperfection is just an opinion a person has formed and believed. So, for every person thinking one body is too curvaceous, small or short, another believes it’s perfect.
I know scientific research suggests humans are attracted to specific symmetry, yet some studies also note we’re attracted to people who share similar features and genes. I believe most of us are conditioned to follow media ideals though; paying too much attention to adverts.
Although everyone has their own beauty ideal, countries also behold a favourable aesthetic. For instance, we stereotype the French as loving simplicity and believe Brazilians adore sun-kissed skin. As social media is global, it’s collectively put billions of us together and chosen one Instagram look for us all to follow. This is arguably damaging our self-esteem because we’re losing identity trying to represent one ideal. How can people across the world all look the same?
When you don’t love your imperfections
Insecurity creates low self-esteem and a sense of idolisation. Disliking your appearance often leads to over-admiration for others – others who we believe are ‘better’. Psychology Today discusses how feeling bad about yourself can actually be comforting; a familiarity that becomes habit. And I notice this occurs often, when we feel afraid to make change. It’s easier to tell ourselves we’re failures who can’t achieve our goals, rather than take a leap of faith.
Should Physical flaws be changeable?
Some physical flaws (like acne scars) have a cosmetic cure. Whereas others (like my large forehead) are with us for life. In theory, some flaws can and should be worked on. A spiteful tendency and quick-tempered rage for example, isn’t healthy to embrace.
I’m not against plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures as I understand we may feel a flaw affects our confidence. With that being said, flaws will always be with us. A plastic surgeon cannot produce a flawless canvas. You can take the best eyes, lips and cheekbones in the world, put them together and still find fault. Physical flaws can modify (providing you adapt them for yourself), but the term never quite leaves a human.
Take a step back
It’s easy to objectify and blow micro-issues out of proportion: that spot on your chin – is a spot on your chin. To you it’s a spot invading your entire face and making you look like a Dalmatian. Kendall Jenner has been photographed several times with spots, as have many other stars over the years. Cameron Diaz famously suffered from severe acne and still found success as a model – once labelled the highest paid Hollywood actress.
Let your physical flaws empower you
Only recently, I have begun to accept my scoliosis (curvature of the spine). Because I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me, I never expressed sadness towards the condition. I always made my spinal surgeries sound fascinating and exciting. Every year in high school, I went to hospital for more operations and post-recovery. I made it sound as though I was fighting a battle and yearly winning the war.
After my final operation, my surgeon said, “That’s it, you’re recovered”. I got on with my life not knowing what to do. My hips are uneven (visible if I didn’t angle them in photos), my back is not completely straight, and there are two permanent scars across my spine.
When I was pursuing modelling, no photographer captured photos showing my back. That was until one particular studio shoot. Photographing me in a bikini, I had my back to the camera as I tilted my head to the side. Although it’s not my favourite photo, the image reminds me to feel good about my scars and body. If you can find strength in your flaws and see an empowering story behind them, you can likely begin to feel better.
Go behind your history
I adore photo albums. I love trying to recognise what similar features I share with relatives. My grandma I discovered, has my face shape – one I’ve spent years wishing to change. How I dreamt of having chiselled cheekbones and a defined jaw. Only, I would then stop looking like her.
We all have interesting stories and people from our past. We’re beyond unique! And for each man and woman who married and fell in love with a person to help create your family’s generations, they potentially fell in love with the very traits you hate.
Focus on what you do love
One birthday, I was given the book Seeds for the Soul. It’s become my bedside table inspiration, whenever I feel confused about life, uncertain, sluggish or insecure. In one chapter, the book discusses feelings, noting we’re usually more troubled by how we think we should be feeling as oppose to the feelings themselves. For example, when going through a painful breakup, your sadness may turn to anger at still having feelings for your ex. The book suggests we ought to ride out our emotions and take them for what they are. And that’s the attitude I believe people should have with their looks.
To focus on your best traits, why not write down all your positive physical attributes, including traits that others have complimented you on? There’s no shame in loving your appearance; it’s not a crime show kindness to yourself. And if a loved-one or stranger on the street deserve your kind words – so do you.
What are your favourite features? How do you accept your flaws? Would you consider plastic surgery?
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